I have been having a hard time lately I am 49 and lost so mcuh in my life my children I now have an abusive boyfriend but feel no one else woudl want me sometimes I can jsut imagine that razor going accorss my throat adn I get sick to my stomach. I got a dog thinking that would help that has made things worse I can't even take care of myself so she is going tomorrow which makes me feel like more of a failure I can't even take care of a dog. I just want to die but I dont want to hurt everyone so I live in this quiet pain all the time. COrey
Abuse can never be tolerated. If your boyfriend is abusing you, the best and number one option is to get as far away from him as humanly possible. He is probably one reason why suicide comes into your mind. Think about it, if he really "loved" you, would he be abusing you?
Everyone wants that feeling of love and need. The way to achieve it is first to love and need yourself. Try and meet some new people and make close friends. Just being with someone who is sincere and nice can make a person feel "wanted."
Believe me, taking care of a dog is hard. Dogs need a lot of care and, at times, I think children are easier to take care of. Maybe getting a dog isn't the right thing for you or maybe you just picked up the wrong dog. There are various different dogs out there that have different personalities. You are NOT a failure for that reason.
I think quiet pain is the worst sort of pain out there because quiet pain is so loud. [metaphorically speaking] It's never good to hold things in; it makes things ten times worse. I'd recommend going to see a doctor or therapist and just talk out your problems. By law, they cannot repeat the information you tell them so you can be assured what you stay never leaves that room.
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