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Confusing
I'm beginning to like this guy in my grade. I'm a softmore and he is to. We have one class together. My problem is...I'm not sure if I should really like him because I feel embarassed and it feels wrong. Truthfully there's nothing wrong but its me. I never saw anything special in him for a while till now. I'm asian and this might sound really weird but I normally like white guys till now...because he's asian. This is kinda hard to explain...I'm really confused. Its been awhile since I've liked a guy. The last I liked I liked him for 3 years but I'm too shy so I just watched him grow up and be taken. Maybe I'm afraid to see that again because it always happens. The previous guy I liked just disappeared from me. I'm a shy girl and I just do not have the confidence in me.
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You say yourself that there is nothing wrong, so I believe that you answered one part of your own question!
I had an experience similar to yours. I am half Japanese, and I really liked this Korean guy in school. I had only ever gone on dates with white guys, so I thought it would be really weird to date a Korean guy. We talked a little bit, but I was incredibly shy, and nothing ever came of it. I don't think that there is anything weird, but I don't think that relationship would have ever worked because I thought it was weird. If you can get over your mental block, you may be able to work things out, but it is you yourself making this weird.
As far as not liking him because you are afraid of losing him, that is not a good reason. Guys will come and go, and it happens more often for shy girls, believe me. Be friends, start there. if it is still weird, then don't sweat it, no one is forcing you to like the guy. If you enjoy being friends, and you could see yourself dating him, try dropping some hints that you like him. Spend time with him outside of school, so that you can gauge better whether you like him.
However, all of this is moot without your confidence. Do whatever you can to build your self-confidence, even if it sounds cheesy. Write down lists of things you like about yourself, things your good at, anything like that. This is really cheesy to get rid of the "bad stuff", but you could try it: visualize a list of things you don't like about yourself (don't write it down!), and pretend they are in a computer file and "click" delete in your mind. This will help you get rid of ideas of poor self image.
Once you are confident, you can take over the world! Okay, not really, but you can become outgoing enough to be approachable and dateable.
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