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Ex boyfriend is a jerk
Hey guys! 15/F
(really long, im sorry brace yourself)
Okay, so i recently broke up with my boyfriend like 2 days ago. Let's call him tom. So tom and i were going out for a littleen the sweet obs over ten months. He was/is so obsessed with me! Like, not even the sweet obsessed, where he shows it a little. If any of you saw just friends, you know the wall covered with pictures? Let's just say thats him. He was OBSESSED. But, he tried way to hard to impress me. SO he lied alot, and it was so obvious he was doing it. SO i confronted him about it a few times. He was like "sure no problem". SO he did it a few times after that, and i really started to get mad. He was talking about us getting married, and our kids and where we would live!! He was way too clingy, and only wanted me for the sake of having a girlfriend, and all the things having a girlfriend comes with. I knew it too, but i assumed i was just being stupid. BUt it kept happening, and he only wants me to go over his house. He hated coming to my house, and i knew it. He has a lot of money, and a huge house and i guess he thought we could be alone more. But, my house isnt small, but its not huge like his and i have alot of family. I love them. He made fat jokes about my dad all the time. It hurt my feelings, cause thats my dad. So I've given him alot of warnings, and this was breaking my heart cause i really cared about him. But after a while, i just had no emotion anymore he was doing it so much. I just didnt like him anymore, and i really couldnt help getting aggravated by the little things he did. He would call me when his friends were over and not even talk to me, he would alugh about something with them, and then pick up the phone and be like "sorry" and then do it again. I would do this thing where i would hang up and see how long it would take him to realize. The longest was 10 minutes. So, i started to be very distant, and i wouldnt talk much on the phone, i became very quiet. Now, i am a huge twilight fan, and i always told him about it, and he would get so mad. But he would tell me about these stupid video games he played. I dont care, but it aggravated me he wouldnt let me talk about twilight. So the movie came out on friday, and he came with me to see it. And the whole time i was enthralled with it, i loved it. SO, we went back to my house, and we hung out and watched videos on youtube and had dinner and stuff. Now, i hope you remember my house isnt big. So after dinner, i brought him in my room. The TV was on low, and the door was wide open. I told him i just wanted to be friends. He flipped out on me. He kept saying "Kiss me. Kiss me Emily. NOW" He forced my head to collide with his. "I need to know you love me" he kept saying while he was trying to force my head to his. I kept struggling and saying "stop tom!" and he wouldnt let me go. He stopped, and i said i was sorry it had to end this way. He started crying and telling me how i mean everything to him, blabla. He asked me if he could please make out with me again. (Proof he only wanted a girlfriend for the pleasure). I said no, and he ased me if he could still put his arm around me and hold my hand. I said no again. Then i told him i still loved him, but no more then a friend. I told him there were different typed of love. I said this is the end of a long relationship, but a beautiful and whole friendship is blooming underneath. He didnt agree, and he kept blaming things on himself, and i told him this was for me, and that i needed to do some soul searching. So then i changed the sunbject, and we watched funny youtube videos. I between 2 days, he kept calling me and trying to make me feel guilty. Today was the worst though. He told me his mother was furious with me. He told me his whole family hated me. He said i should think about the mistakes i make before i make them. I kept telling him this was not a mistake, but he didnt listen. I told him if he really loves me he would be happy for me. He is so imposible. He tried to make me feel guilty! He kept telling him, i was his water, withougt me he couldn't live. He kept telling me things like that... I know he was trying to make me feel guilty. So i said maybe we shouldnt talk until your ready to be mature about this and handle being friends. He kept saying he neeeded to talk to me everyday. Which i will the first wek or so, but this is a break up and i did it because i needed space from him. The relationship was suffocating me. His status on aim today was "If any ladies want me, im single now"
I just need ot know if i did the right thing, and any other opinions would help too...
My family supports me all the way, and my friends are being amazing. But i guess i just need help from starngers sometimes haha.
So, what do you think?
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This guy sounds like a bit of a freak really.
I know there isn't just one person in a relationship but if it feels wrong to you then you have to do what makes you feel comfortable.
It's completely up to you if you want to feel guilty about the things he is saying because to be quite honest he's probably making them up.
don't be hung up by it.
He's obviously not too affected by it if he is saying "If any ladies want me, im single now".
I think your going to find the right person for you soon and he will find the right person who can cope with his needs and clinginess.
I hope I've help and don't be worrying too much. x
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I think that you made the complete right decision. Of course he is going to make you feel bad, but no matter what don't fall for it. Now is the time where you can have fun with other guys. He seems like a person that is completly self obsessed, (no offense) but other than that you seem like you have everything under control so good luck (: and don't doubt yourself, youre making the right decisions
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I have read everything that you have written and I agree with you 100%. This guy is absolutely crazy and he is lucky that you stuck with him as long as you did. There is definitely a subtle difference between love and obsession. I'm really glad that you are able to tell the difference. He needs some professional help and to did the right thing by breaking up with him. I know from experience that when someone feels that way, it only gets worse. You need to cut him off if he can't learn to control himself and just be your friend. The guilt that he tried to put on you was bogus and typical of someone like him. Don't fall for that because it probably isn't even true and if it is that's their problem. You have your own family so who cares what his thinks, they are not important. Dude is crazy and they need to get him some help. Remain cool if possible, but don't talk to him everyday, you wanted your space and you don't want him to get the wrong idea. You will fall in love with someone at some point, but he just isn't the one. Keep moving forward and don't look back. Good luck!
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