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humorist-workshop
i feel like im watching my life crumble in front of me.
i had a good friend. he liked me. i didnt like him. he asks me out four times and i finally say yes. so then we date for a few months. i fall madly in love with him. we have sex, he cheats, and then breaks up with me.
bad part is, im one of those girls who hates to date a guy for a month and then move on and just keep that cycle going. im only 15, but im ready to find my soulmate. it'll make things a lot easier for me, especially since i feel like running away or killing myself after every lost relationship.
i can see some things about me that might be a turnoff. im really emo and even when im in a really good relationship, im very depressed. i cant help being a pessimist, and i always know things will never work out. but it always still cuts me so deep. im also really thin and my boobs are not big at all. i dont care about that, but i know some guys do. why? i dont know.
but i dont get how someones feelings about me can disappear so easily!!! (im still talking about my friend that i fell in love with) he used to care so deeply about me. i can still see the look in his eyes and hear his voice. it keeps saying "i love you," in the sweetest whisper like he used to. why cant i get over him? in a way, i know i deserve better, but i know i dont. im just really confused and torn apart.
he said he was sorry for cheating on me and we've hung out 3 times after he broke it off. but those three parts were at least 3 months ago. and now hes avoiding me. i was going to tell him how i still feel, at first. but then he didnt answer my phone call or my IMs. and he knows damn well that if im the one to call or IM first then its pretty important. (i dont call boys, because im oldfashioned like that.) but the last IM i sent him was last night and he was on, but MIA i guess. so i called and left a voicemail telling his rents to have him call me back. he never did, and i dont think he will.
in some part in the back of my head, i know hes probably being like this so i can get over him. but he should have learned by now that acting like a dick just makes girls love him even more. (he did this with two of his other exes, even the one he cheated on me with :D) but i dont want him to be this way, i want to just ask him if we could go back to being friends. even if im not romantically involved with him, friendship is enough for me.
i dont exactly know what im asking here, but anyone just give me some insight on what they think? or tell me something to do that might help? thanks. (AND DO NOT TELL ME TO "MOVE ON" SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME THAT AND GUESS WHAT? I CANT.)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I know how you feel. You want to find that person that's going to be there for you for the rest of your life, and when you think about not having it you get sad. I get that. Well I know you probably don't wanna hear this but you are most likely not going to find that person now. At 15, finding the one you're gonna be with is rare and not because YOU are young, it's because the males around you in that age group are immature and lustful. They don't think about love, and they are mistaken quite a few times when they think they are. And it is unfortunate because I believe that the people who don't mess around with a million people and just want that one person in their lives, end up finding them during/after college. It's also unfortunate that you don't find love in high school. Most of the time at least. But even though this is true, looking at it as some time to prepare for meeting the right one may help.
About the boy...they are all stupid and i'm not trying to make a joke out of it or anything. it's plain and simple. When boys are 15 they lust. They "love" what they can't have, and sweety he's NOT THE RIGHT ONE FOR YOU.
THE ONE THAT YOU'LL FALL FOR WILL LOVE YOU EVERY MINUTE OF EVERYDAY! He wont break your heart, or even dream of it. He wont do what this kid did to you. He's not going to care that you prefer to look emo because HE'S GOING TO LOVE YOU. And maybe destiny was set up for you to meet him in your 20's? I know it sounds like a long time from now but in the long run, if you're able to find the one you truly love, it shouldn't matter. Once you're with him, nothing else like time should matter.
It'll take work. I'm telling you that now. It'll take lots of work to find the right one. MANY will seem like they are, but somethings going to click when you meet him. You have to believe that. I know finding him now would make life easier, I think about it every day, but at 15 or even 16-21 we aren't mature enough to form relationships of that much power. We are, by nature, very immature, and i'm sure that right now, the man that is your soulmate, is doing something immature =]] after all he's probably around your age, and most boys are immature =]]
Also, you have a mind of someone older than you. You don't think like the average 15 year old and it's a great thing. This is why you don't wanna play the games that most girls your age love to play. And finding your soulmate is more important. Just don't give up hope. You are YOUNG! YOU WILL FIND HIM! Or, since you're oldfashioned, HE'LL FIND YOU =]]
As for this jerk that broke your heart, it'll take time getting over him. But hey, in the process you might find someone better and i hope you do =]]
I really hope i helped. Good Luck
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