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Was it really for the best?
So two years ago I met this guy who I really liked, and he liked me too. We became really good friends but something happened and we drifted apart. At the beginning of this year we started talking again. He told me he liked me, and I told him I liked him. But he has a girlfriend. (at the time I had a boyfriend but he dumped me after a few weeks) So the guys not any random to me, hes also like, my best friend now. But I didnt know what to do. I didnt want to wait for him because that wasnt fair on me. But I didnt want to make him choose "her or me" because that wasnt fair on him. I also didnt want to get with somebody else because Id always be thinking of THAT GUY and that wouldnt be fair on the person Id be with. So I was extremely confused. We had a few arguments over the subject and the boy would get annoyed when I mentioned other guys, but nothing ever really changed.
I went on holiday for a week and the guy rung me and text me. He told me how it was gonna be nice when Id get back. Then on the last night of holiday I was talking to this older man about him. He told me how no guys worth it, how if this boy really did like me as much as he should he wouldnt be with his girlfriend. It doesnt matter how many problems he has I should make him choose her or me. He also said 'What do you think of yourself?" like, implying that I must have a low opinion of myself to wait around for him, when Im worth so much more than that.
I thought about everything the guy said and the next day when I got back, ye, I suppose I was acting a little differently. And then all the guy was speaking about was his girlfriend. NON STOP. It hurt me, so I decided that we should stop talking all together, that I would erase him from my life. So I deleted every bit of contact I had with him last night. He was a bit upset about it the night before, but last night he didnt seem to give a toss.
It really hurts me because Ive wasted so much time on him, Ive given him the best of me. Ive never told him this, but I love him. I seriously do. Im not one of them girls who say I LOVE YOU to every guy Im in a relationship with, the word actually has meaning to me. Now Ive lost him and Im lost. Its okay for him, hes got his stupid girlfriend to go back to. He told me how he needed me and he didnt know what he'd do without me. Well hes lost me now and last night he acted happy about it, is that how he really feels? All I want to do is cry. Ive lost this guy who meant so much to me. I don't know if I've done the right thing here, I dont want to feel this way anymore, its so heartbreaking, disturbing, confusing, depressing... etc. I want to be happy and I done this to be happy but at the moment Im the total opposite. It just seems like its impossible to be happy without him.
Im only 15 years old so Ive got the rest of my life to find someone else, but Ive never met anyone like him... I dont know what to do. I dont know if Ive made the right choice... was it really for the best?
(Sorry for going on a bit)
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Altough the first advice is good, I think that you should also be wary. The way I see it, he didn't really care that you erased him, he was just dissappointed and "a little bit upset". It sounds to me like he was considering you as a fallback. If things don't work between him and his girlfriend, you're always there and he is almost certain that you like him. Now, I am NOT saying I'm right, I do not know you personally to tell, I'm just thinking of a possibility that might be. I wish you good luck!
P.S. From the simple fact that you have so much troubles because of your love for him should push you towards a healthier relationship, because you're young and, I'm certain, really pretty, you shouldn't hurt your heart but look for a relationship that actually makes you happy.
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First off i would like to say that you seem like a very mature and nice girl for being 15, its a breath of fresh air. Anyway, The guy that gave you that advice gave terrible advice in my opinion. Just because he has a girlfriend doesn't mean he doesn't think the WORLD of you. He probably doesn't know exactly how you feel. If you told him straight up what your feel and how much you want him, things might be different. He probably knows you like him, but doesn't see it as a big deal. He's not going to break up with a girl he likes and is already with to go chase someone else that he's not sure will work out. Once he knows that you like him a lot he might change his mind... if it doesn't work out, you will get over it. I've been in love, real love, and when it doesn't work, it hurts... for a long time. I did get over it eventually. I still love her, but it doesn't hurt at all anymore, I date other people and I'm totally fine, and you will be too if it doesn't work out.
Good luck.
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