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adding on..
I don't know about giving him hot lines to call. I think my own phone number is as close as he'll get. He did talk about wanting help once, but lately he hasn't said anything. We used to stay up all night talking on IM and we would hang out all the time, but we just haven't been communicating lately. How can I just have a regular conversation with him? There are 3 teachers that I trust. 2 are band teachers that me and him both know pretty well and they know how we are, and the other is my math teacher. He doesn't know my math teacher, and I don't like her class, but she knows a lot about life and kids and hard situations. But I don't want to talk to anyone unless he wants me to.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I'm not sure in your situation that such a thing as a regular conversation exists. The fact is, what he's going through is a huge obstacle in your relationship. If a person isn't even sure if he or she wants to be, it's difficult to think about or focus on much else.
I get that you don't want to talk to anyone without his permission. I really, truly do. It's tough. But sometimes, it has to be about the best thing for him, not what he most wants. If you feel he is potentially a danger to himself, you need to talk to someone who can handle it. Even if you need to get the police involved, the first priority has to be his safety. Think of it this way--if something were to happen, would you be glad you'd followed his wishes, or wish you'd told someone. Whatever the answer is (and I'm not saying either is wrong, although you can probably tell which way I'm leaning), that's what you need to do.
The fact that you're coming here to ask these questions tells me that you're getting pretty worried. I don't blame you. I think, too, you already have some idea of what you want to do. It takes a lot of courage to deal with a situation like this and I commend you for wanting to help. In the end, though, there's only so much you can do before you have to leave it up to him. Just make sure that you can live with what you choose. If in the end you think you've done the right thing, that's what matters.
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