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friends who need help in more ways than one
HERE ARE A FEW SITUATIONS THAT HAPPENED TO MY FRIENDS AND I NEED YOUR HELP (BUT PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM)
(1) What is your definition of skinny enough and is Carlys mom saying that Carly was overweight before and now Carly is skinny or is Carly reading too much into this: STORY : Carly is thin and A FEW DAYS AGO when Carly came home from work she changed into a tee-shirt but wore the same pants she wore to work. Carlys mom asked her as they sat down to eat if Carly lost weight, and Carly said no, but this upset Carly. Carly said to her mom that her mom always tells Carly she looks beautiful. Her mom said you do look beautiful but your pants look bigger. And she told Carly that Carly is skinny enough.'
(2) WHY would a chunky girl tell a thin girl (who is always told by strangers, relatives, friends she is thin/skinny, looks like a size 4 that the chunky girl thinks the thin girl is average and size 8,then pauses and adds in size 10. MARY (who is THE friend I am asking about) IS UPSET AS TO WHY SANDY WOULD SAY WHAT SHE SAID WHEN EVERYONE IS ALWAYS TELLING MARY SHE IS THIN/SKINNY AND SINGLE DIGIT SIZE. STORY: Mary (very thin) and Sandy (chunky)met in the hallway, Mary told Sandy she got a parking spot right across the street. Sandy said to Mary Exercise. And the reason Sandy said she mentioned exercise because she is concerned about her heart. Mary decided to ask;Sandy do you think I am thin; As Sandy was putting stuff away Sandy replied to Mary; You are average, size 8 paused and added size 10;Mary left and went back to her desk. Four co-workers saw Mary and asked Mary what was wrong Mary told them the story. Her co-workers said to her; Mary you are thin/skinny and cannot be more than a size 4, and not more than 110 pounds. Then Mary said; So why did Sandy say average and size 10 if everyone sees me as skinny/thin size 4;They replied; Sandy is jealous; Do you agree/concur with Marys friends? Here are some things her co-workers and friends said after Sandys remark: Audrey: Mary you are so skinny Billy: Mary you are thin. Jill: No wonder Mary you are so skinny Tom: Mary you cannot weigh more than 100lbs Yvette: Thin I want to feel you Mary Sara: Mary you are thin Petunia: Thin not just saying that you Mary are thin - cannot weigh more than 90lbs Doris: How do you Mary stay so thin and you have to be a size 4; Joanne: Mary you are so thin Leslie: Mary is a thin person Helen: How skinny do you Mary want to be Arlene: He is a big man, however, you Mary I can push Iola: Mary you are very thin
(3) The two players are Kerry and Patti. Kerry and Patti were having a conversation about many things and then all of a sudden the following happened. Kerry said: Patti I think you are a size 5/6 in clothing, even the temp that works for me said you have to be a 5/6 in clothing. Patti didn't say anything. Kerry said; you have hips, but they are NOT big. Look at my hips, my hips are big yours are not; Patti just listened and didn't say anything.. At 5:00PM they walked to their cars together and Kerry told Patti again that Patti looks like a 5/6 in clothing. Patti asked Susan (a person who witnessed the conversation) Does Kerry think I have big hips; Susan replied; No Kerry does not. Kerry even told you that she doesn't think you have big hips. All Kerry is saying is you are thin with shape. MY QUESTION: DO you agree with Susan that all Kerry is saying is that Patti is thin with shape"
(4) My friend Peggy was out sick for two days in a row with food poisoning. When Peggy came back to work she met Tania by the ladies room at 9AM. Tania said; girl you are skinny, you lost weight. Peggy thought Tania was implying that Tania never thought Peggy was skinny before her two day illness (everyone is always telling Peggy she is skinny - all of her). Anyway around 3PM Peggy was in Tanias office and Peggy asked Tania did Tania think that Peggy still looked sick and does Tania think Peggy look pale. Tania said Peggy you do look pale. Then Peggy said to Tania did Tania think Peggy looks drawn like Tania told Peggy earlier. And Tania said she didnt say that. What Tania said she said was that Peggys face looked like it lost weight and when one isnt smiling and one looks pale their face looks thinner. That night Peggy called me on the telephone and told me the story and asked me was Tania implying that she never thought Peggy was skinny before her two day illness. And I told Peggy that Tania wasnt saying that at all, all Tania said was that Peggys face looked skinnier. My Question: Did I give the right answer
(5) Ramona and the store clerk are the two people in the story. THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO SECURITY CAMERAS OR MIRRORS. Ramona came in and purchased her herb tablets. She asked him how much should one take.The clerk said to her that most women should weigh a 160 pounds, however,she weighs a little less so she can take less. The little less bothered her so she asked him to clarify what he thought she weighs he said 130 pounds. She replied you don't even know what I look like and he remarked that I see you come in here; Telling her that he thought she weighed 130 upset her because everyone always tells her that she looks like she weighs 110 or less.Also keep in mind that he wasn't facing her when he said this and there was a partition blocking his view of her so all he saw was her face and neck. When Ramona told her friends the story all of Ramona's friends said she should not be upset because when the clerk made the comment she was standing behind a partition and all he could see was her neck and face and Ramona was wearing a coat.MY QUESTION:Do you agree/concur with Ramona's friends that Ramona should not be bent out of shape because the clerk could not see what she looked like due to the fact she was standing behind the partition and all he could see was her neck and face and she was wearing a coat.KEEP IN MIND THE FOLLOWING:(1)RAMONA WAS WEARING A COAT WHEN SHE CAME INTO THE STORE THAT DAY(2)LATER ON WHEN THE CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE SHE WAS STANDING BEHIND A PARTITION AND ALL THE CLERK COULD SEE WAS HER NECK AND FACE(3 KEEP IN MIND EVERY ONE ALWAYS TELLS RAMONA SHE IS THIN/SKINNY AND WEIGHS NO MORE THAN 110 POUNDS(4)THE CLERK ONLY SAW RAMONA ATOTAL OF FIVE TIMES SPREAD OUT OVER THE YEAR AND EVERY TIME HE SAW HER SHE WAS WEARING A COAT:(5)There are absolutely no cameras or mirrors
(6) Colette (who is very thin) went to a coffee shop for lunch and a girl who is there was eating lunch with her brother. The girl who is mentally challenged saw Colette eating a bagel and cream cheese and said;You shouldnt eat that;. The brother explained that his sister just came from a nutrition lecture. Colette told a co-worker the story and said;Do I look fat; The co-worker said;Colette you are very thin.;Later on Colette went to make Xerox copies of a report. Colette was standing on one side of the Xerox machine and Josie on the other and all they could see of one another was from the waist up. Colette and Josie exchanged small talk and then Colette said;Josie do you think I am thin?; Josie hesitantly said;Well, and then decided not to wait to make copies. Colette finished making copies went back to her desk. Late afternoon Colette got up to do something and Josie ran over and said to Colette;I only saw you sitting down, my god you are thin.;Colette that night got together with a few friends and in passing told them what transpired between she and Josie and all Colettes friends said ;the only reason Josie said;Well; in a hesitant voice was because Josie never saw you (Colette) standing she (Josie) only saw you (Colette) sitting so she (Josie) never realized how thin you (Colette) are and she (Josie) even admitted when she (Josie) saw you (Colette) standing that you (Colette) are thin.;Do you concur with Colettes friends that Josie only said;Well; in a hesitant voice was because Josie never saw Colette standing, Josie only saw Colette sitting so Josie never realized how thin Colette is
(7) Today at work an elderly customer asked Patricia if she lost weight and Patricia told her no. The customer said that Patricias face looked like she lost weight, but maybe Patricia was tired. Then as they started to walk toward Patricias coworkers desk the elderly customer told Patricia that Patricia is so skinny. Patricia said to her that that Patricia was always skinny. The elderly customer replied you are like me you lose weight in face but gain in stomach. The stomach part bothered Patricia. Patricia said to the elderly customer that Patricia is skinny everywhere. The elderly customer told Patricia that Patricia is skinny every where. That the elderly customer does not want Patricia to get fat but Patricia should gain five pounds. The elderly customer said that the elderly customers stomach is big since the elderly customer retired. And that the elderly customer thinks Patricia is skinny every where and she said that even Patricias hands are tiny as well. Patricia called me and told me the story and I told her that all the woman is saying that it looked Patricia lost weight in the face and Patricia is skinny everywhere including Patricias stomach, but the elderly lady has a big stomach. MY QUESTION: Did I give Patricia the right answer."
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1. Peoples weight really depend on their height, build, metabolism, etc so it's hard to say whats skinny enough. She might want to be careful, she was probably insulted by what her mom said, as something like this could lead to an eating disorder. If she feels obligated to lose weight let her know exercise/healthy eating are much more effective. And she might want to see a doctor/dietitian to see what is kind of foods and exercise are best for her.
2. People carry weight differently maybe Mary looks bigger to Sandy? She(sandy) could possibly be jealous, tell her not to let it get to her head because she is obviously not overweight if her friends tell her she looks thin all the time.
3. Again people carry weight differently. It does sound like Susan was not trying to be rude because people can be curvy/have shape while still being small. A size 5/6 is pretty average so she doesn't have much to worry about if she thinks she is big or anything.
4. People obviously lose weight if they are sick/cannot eat. Peggy is defiantly over-reacting as you cannot lose too much weight in just two days, that would imply that she was thin and is just thinner now. You're answer you gave her was good (and true I'd assume).
5. If the person didn't see her he would obviously not be aware of what looked like. It is pretty hard to tell how much someone weighs just by looking at them though, height, muscle, how their built will influence that. People do look bigger in coats and it is even harder to tell by someones face/neck how much they weigh. Ramona shouldn't worry about it if she knows she is smaller and her friends tell her she is.
6. Colette shouldn't worry too much about it as the brother did explain why she had said what she did. Bagels are pretty condensed and have a large amount of carbohydrates in them. People do look bigger when they sit down and Josie probably didn't want to be rude(or Colette to think she was being rude) by saying anything when she didn't have a clear view of her.
7. You did give her the right answer. She elderly customer was probably just concerned because she is so skinny that she shouldn't lose any weight but gain some. For older people it's harder to exercise so they would not really be losing to much weight but their face, hand, etc may become skinnier.
I hope this doesn't sound rude but your friends do need more self confidence. I'm sure they're at perfectly normal/or underweight even, and are beautiful people.
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None of your friends are over weight from what i hear. I guess i don't really under stand the q. But all you guys have to do is check you BMI's on www.am-i-fat.com and that will tell you weither you are or not. Sorry if i didn't completly anser your q. If you need an anser to another q in the article you wrote just ask me.
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