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mixed signals. so confused - long sorry :/
this is going to be long. i'm really sorry, but you need all the details to fully understand.
me - sophomore
drew - freshman
we met each at lunch and we slowly started liking each other. so we flirted a lot and fed each other french fries and all that kind of stuff. and everyone was always like, "omg why don't you guys just go out already?" and we'd just look at each other and laugh like we were embarrassed or something and went back to our flirting. so then we were going to have a snowball dance at the school. and we had this aim conversation where we both admitted we liked each other (it took a while). but it was really cute cause he asked who i wanted to ask to the dance and i was just like, "someone. what about you?" and he said "someone..". so we never actually told each other we liked the other one, but we caught on to each other and the whole rest of year, we joked about "someone". but they ended up cancelling the dance because not that many people were going. and there was this other girl who i was friends w/ who was a senior. she was bi but that's another storry. but w/ her getting in the way and the fact that they cancelled the dance, we never went out. and at this point, he usually wore like a black or navy shirt and jeans, except his hair was a little shaggy and kinda wavy.
me - junior
drew - sophomore
ok.. so we didn't talk all summer. :/ when school started again, i was kinda surprised to find that he cut his hair and sorta spiked it and was now dressing completely preppy. i thought he was even more cuter than the year before. we didn't talk much til october cause we had no classes or lunch together and i usually didn't see him in the halls. so one of my friends found him and told him i missed him or was looking for him or something. so he found me one day before third period and i was like, wow you got your hair cut (even though i already noticed). and we got to talk for a bit. so after that, he started meeting me before third pd. not a lot and we never got to talk long, but still.. so i know guys are supposed to ask girls to homecoming, not the other way around, but it didn't seem like he was going to ask me. i was afraid to, but my friends convinced me to do it. so i finally did and he already had a date. :/ (not a surprise, he really did get a lot cuter and everything) we got to talk for a little bit during homecoming, and i got a cute pic of him, but we just left to go hang out w/ our friends. so back in the day, when we were allowed to go in the courtyard, me and my friends went outside to eat popcorn. and this is gonna sound stupid and pathetic, but.. i started crying cause i wanted him soo bad. and my friends had to really try to cheer me up, which didn't help much, but i pretended cause i didn't want to ruin their nite. so after homecoming, i found out he already had a date for sadie hawkins so that was out of the picture. and we hardly talked at all the rest of the year, sometimes saying hi in the hallway. but he had a gf (who he ended up going out w/ for a year). so he was pretty much off-limits.
me - senior
drew - junior
(this is the longest part, i'm sorry)
ok, so we go into this year. again, we didn't talk all summer and like i said, he still had a gf. and i was dating someone else at the time. so i guess you can say i sorta just, not forgot about him, but let my feelings for him go for awhile. so we didn't talk much (if at all, i don't remember) in the beginning of the school year. i did happen to find him on myspace and requested to be his friend, in which he accepted. but nothing happened immediately, no comments or anything. so then not too long after i broke up with my boyfriend, he sent me a comment out of the blue saying "this might sound a little weird, but i actually kind of miss you". something along the lines of that. so we started commenting each other back and forth for a little bit, talking about the past and the way it used to be when we fed each other french fries. (in case you were wondering, his gf broke up with him on their 1-year anniversary and he was completely heartbroken - that bitch hahah [well can't complain too much ;] hahah]) so then he sent me a comment that said "you should call me" or something like that, and he sent his number via myspace message. so i called him. and for not talking in practically forever, it wasn't that awkward. and we sorta got excited and he said "i wonder if we would have gone out if they didn't cancel the dance..?" and i was like "yeah, i don't know hahah" and he said "you wanna try it now?" and we both started laughing, but were like "wait a minute, we just started talking again" so we talked for a little more and then hung up cause he had to go. so then after that, we texted for 3 days straight and i remember one night when i told him i was going to bed, he sent me a really cute text message that said something along the lines of "ok nite. kisses xo :D" so i was so happy and i thought maybe i had a chance to go out with him. and he put me in his top 8 and everything hahah. but then one day, we were talking about it through text messages and said he had this huge crush on me and whatnot, but that there was something holding him back. and it was because of my friends. as in, 2 of my friends were gay together and one is just plain annoying. and he said his friends sometimes made fun of my friends and that we were in different social circles or something. OK THAT PISSED ME OFF!!! hahah. so i was really mad that he could say that, but i didn't say anything, just that i understood. but then after that, we didn't text anymore and we didn't talk much at school, and there was no more myspace comments. although through the beginning of 2nd semester til about the end of april, we did occassionally talk. he sent me a couple of pic comments saying i was really cute and all and i had sent him some back. and he went to our xmas band concert and maybe spring (i don't know i didn't see him). and i saw him a lot at musical practice cause i went to hang out with my friends and watch it a lot. and during one of the shows, where i was ushering, he came up to me and we started talking a bit. so it's not like he ever forgot about me, we just never talked like we used to 2 years ago. so then at prom, he asked me to dance. (i was sooo happy, but played it cool). so we got to dance for awhile, but then he had to go, so he gave me a hug and smiled and said goodbye. but after prom, we still didn't talk a whole lot.
so here's where the big story comes into place. last thursday, i had a dream about him. nothing major, but he basically asked for a hug, so i gave him one, and he kissed me on the cheek. (ahh it was soo nice). needless to say, i flipped out when i realized it was a dream hahah. but ever since that dream, it's like my feelings for him exploded and grew at an exponential rate hahah. i suddenly feel like i need him in my life, i need him as my bf, and i couldn't live without him. it sounds crazy, i know. my mom and some of my friends think i might actually be in love, but i doubt it. love is a strong emotion. all i know is, i REALLY REALLY like him. A LOT. and i've been going crazy since then. i don't know what's wrong with me, or if i'm in love, or what. but i spent a whole nite crying over him. it's pathetic! and then at a chorus concert last sat. i had to sit in the back against the wall cause i came in late, cause of work. and i just sat there watching him (he's in select choir) and almost started crying and i was shaking the whole time. :/ so then after the concert, i went backstage to find my friends (i have a crap load of friends in chorus). i found them all, gave them hugs, and told him good job and all. drew saw me and put his arm around me and pulled me to his side for a half hug and said hi. i was so happy. and then i went to talk to another friend. and after a while, drew came back. and hugged me again. and then he said it wasn't long enough and that we'd have to do it again, so he gave me ANOTHER hug. and we talked for awhile. then he left and came back sporting a viking hat with blonde pigtail braids attached. to be weird i guess? so i was like "wow.. that's attractive hahah" and we laughed and stuff and then i had to go, so he then gave me yet another hug (a really close one :D). and since then, we sometimes talk in the hallway, but not a lot cause the schedules are all messed up cause of finals. and here i am rite now. freaking out. i graduate next thursday. tomorrow is my last full day of school. if i don't do something now, i don't know what will happen. i'm just afraid of everything and telling him how i feel.
some sides notes to end the story.
-that one time when he said about my friends being gay or whatever, he now has in his profile something about "why can't we all just get along like we used to in kindergarten and no one discriminates" hypocrite? i don't know!
-gahh he's REALLY FREAKIN CUTE!!!! and it makes it even harder.
-i commented him casually yesterday about the hat, but he didn't comment back, even though it said he was online.
-i sent him another comment today after school saying "erin is mad at you cause you never comment her back. hahah just kidding you going to steph primus's grad party?" (a friend). he hasn't responded yet and it says he logged on today. :/
-i invited him to my grad party.
-and to a bonfire i'm having.
-don't know if he'll go to either.
-this boy sends me mixed signals. i don't know what to think or do.
if you need more details, let me know. thanx for reading, i'm sorry this was so long, but i seriously need the help. tomorrow is my last full day at school. :/ (:D) i really want to tell him how i feel, but i'm afraid he'll ignore me if i tell him online, like in a message, kinda like the comments. and we don't have time in school to talk. maybe in the morning, but it's hard to get him alone. and it would be so awkward, especially if i started crying. and i'm afraid there's a chance he might not like me back. i don't know. what do you think? does he like me? how should i talk to him? if i don't get the chance to talk to him, i might see him at my grad party and bonfire and my friend did invite him to her grad party, which i'll be at. so if i can't get the chance to talk to him tomorrow, there's still those parties. but besides that, just online. but what if he ignores me? oh my god please help. :'[
signed,
lost and confused
or
erin.
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omg that has to be THE longest thing i've ever read. haha.
but yeah, you need to get his number. (if you dont already have it.) you need to text him and say "i need to talk to you tomorrow. meet me at ____ at (time)" because ...if you dont do this. you'll regret it. for a long time.
do not do it online though.
you need to do this in person.
tell him everything that you've been feeling or have felt. he needs to hear it. seriously though, you haveee to do this. you'll be mad at yourself later on if you dont.
but yeah, okay it might be a little awkward at first? but if you just keep talking and dont think about it, just say how you feel..youll feel so much better after words. and he obviously cares/has cared about you because you guys were so close in the past.
that will all come back to him when you start talking to him.
but make sure you're alone.
maybe do it after school...like outside or something, but make sure its just you guys. but let him know you have to talk to him, that way tomorrow when you're trying to find him. he knows it.
haha good luck!!!
pleaseeeeee let me know how it goes. alrighttt?
ah good luck<3
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aw, thats soo cute! lol ok. so i think you should call him. or text him saying you wanna ask him something. i think his signals say he likes you, but he doesnt want to show it too much, he IS a guy if you know what i mean. you could even text him about the partys and if he answers saying yes, you could flirt and most likely become his gf there. but talk to him, and soon. id hate to know that it was too late, i hope it turns out ok. =]
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