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Really, really messed up love triangle.
Okay, I need outside advice. I'm 19/f, Just a warning, this is gonna be long - it's complicated. So there are these two guys: my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend.
My ex and I dated officially for about seven months, but then lost the titles and were still acting like a couple for quite awhile, then decided to call it friends with benefits, because neither of us were ready for the emotions that came with our relationship. He's kind of an ass, but he loved me, and still does. He's basically everything I look for in a guy, except for the fact that he's a little insecure. Now THIS is where it gets really complicated...
My current boyfriend is/(used to be?) my ex's friend. He's also a lot of what I look for in a guy, but he keeps backing down from sex. Not to say that sex is everything in a relationship, but it's important to me.
The fiasco started when me and my boyfriend went to canada to club/drink this past wednesday with a couple of our other friends, including my ex's brother. My boyfriend decided not to tone down the PDAs even though the ex's brother was there, and he saw us making out at least once.
One of the friends told my ex, who blocked my boyfriend on line, and as soon as I got on line, (my cellphone was dead) confronted me about it. Well, sort of. He beat around the bush, asking me how canada was and trying to see if I'd tell him about my boyfriend. I wasn't going to, of course, no one in their right mind would, but his friend told him, and he eventually admitted that. He then verbally assaulted me for about an hour and a half while threatening to kick the shit out of my boyfriend until I got him calmed down enough to admit that he still had feelings for me, and felt horribly betrayed and upset by two of his closest friends.
(I mean, I can understand that. Though, he overreacts a lot, and he is a bit of a drama queen.)
But the worst thing is, I still have feelings for my ex, and I told him. Things got weird a few months ago and I felt like he was using me as a random hookup insted of treating me like a friend, and I told him my feelings were gone. Now he knows I lied.
But then there's my guy, who's incredibly sweet, charming, good looking, great body, great personality, GREAT kisser...Only thing he doesn't have is the asshole side that my ex does. But my ex loves me, and I have always felt that we'd wind up together again even if we did break up and meet new people, because our connection was just that strong.
So my options appear to be:
1. Keep my guy and lose my ex completely
2. Keep my ex and lose my guy as a boyfriend, and possibly as a friend.
3. Mess around with both of them and pray that neither one finds out, or
4. Lose both of them.
I have strong feelings for both guys, and I've never had that problem before. I'm not an indecisive person.
Thing with the ex is that he's still not really ready for a relationship again. I don't know if I would be ready to be with him again either.
Thing with my boyfriend is that he's apparently not ready for anything but kissing, which sort of makes me feel like I don't really have a boyfriend.
Help!!
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From what I get out of this is that you love your boyfriend but because he only wants to kiss, you're thinking of going back to your ex, who is an a**, just so that you can have sex. I think you should keep your current boyfriend, tell your ex that he had his chance and that if things are meant to be, you'll end up together someday, but right now you're enjoying your time with your boyfriend. I think you're being delusional about your ex because he still has feelings for you, and so you're like "well, maybe i still have them for him". It doesn't help that your sexual needs aren't being satisfied by your boyfriend, but when you look at both boys and what you have said, you obviously like your boyfriend more. I'd say he's worth the wait. You can eventually lead to sex, and it'll be very passionate because of the sexual build up of a longer relationship.
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Well this same thing just happened with my brother and his girlfriend..
the only problem is that if you do decide to keep the ex and loose the boyfriend like you said the boyfriend will be gone for good.. and he seems like such a sweet guy .. if your this confused you really should take time and be alone and see which one you are dying to see more.. that will show you which one you want.. my opinion would be to keep the boyfriend becuase even though he doesnt want anything more than kissing now.. that will eventually change but the assholeness in the ex will probably never change.. so the boyfriend seems to be and always will be an awesome person. I know you feel that the ex has always been your love and you are meant to be and will eventaully be togehter in the end, but i think its just because he was probably one of your first true loves and everyone alwways thinks those are their true lovers its just cause you havent given a full out shot to another guy with full feelings in the relationship.. and not half of your feelings in one guy and half in the other..you havent fully moved on which you probably should try even though its hard it will take a while, but if hes an asshole like you say he is you really shouldnt make room for an asshole in your life you dont want those problems....whatever you do do nottttt mess around with both of them that will lead you to a hugeee mess and youll be left with nothing in the end.... like i said when you were with the ex you probably only thought abuot him but since hes still on your mind your not concentrated on the one guy try to clear your mind of one of them
idk if that was too confusing but i hope i helped.. this is a hard situation i know.. love sucks
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