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Dream boyfriend becoming nightmare boyfriend???
I am 19/f and a college freshman. When I got to school, I met the greatest guy. He's smart, hilarious, EXTREMELY nice, a great soccer player and goth poet, and very, very hott, like a buff Trent Reznor. So, I moved in w/ him(well, my big things are still in my dorm room, but I sleep every night over at his place) in his off campus apt. Things went really well at first, but the longer I have lived with him, the more something seems like it just ain't right.
He's got this very dark side to him. I'm kinda gothic also, so I liked that he always wore all black and wore the black nail polish and eyeliner, even when he was playing soccer. But the more I am around him, the more I see that his being goth is something really deep and dark in him-like he's Kurt from Nirvana kind of dark. He's never like violent or anything, and he is always a perfect gentleman to me, but he will get really down in the dumps and stay that way for like weeks. I'll wonder if it's things that I have done, but he's always just like "no-you're the only good thing in my life. I'm just really sick and tired of dealing with all the sh!t". Every now and then, I notice cigarette burns and small cuts on his arms. I ask him, but he's just like "Oh, that's nothing-I don't know how that happened." Lately, I've started noticing these really weird little punctures in the bends of his elbows that have bruises around them. After his soccer season ended, it was like all the energy just oozed out of him. He said he's just upset because this was his seinor year and he'll never get to be on another team, but I wouldn't think that would just seem to suck the lifeforce out of him like it looks like it did.
What really scares is that I just missed my period and I think I may be pregnant.
I am really afraid that I have found my dream guy...and now my dream is turning into a nightmare right in front of my eyes.
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Wow, this seems all familiar to me. One of my best friends is kind of dealing with the same situation except now shes tryin to leave him and he claims he is going to kill himself if she does..im afraid that your bf would do the same thing. You REALLY need to talk to him..i think theres a bigger issue than what is on the surface..its one thing to be gothic, which is simply a style, and another thing to be darkly depressed, and I think that's what he is (it seems like he is totally injuring himself). You need to sit him and down and tell him that you're in love with him and care so much about him, but you're very concerned about his "secret" life. Tell him that it doesnt matter what problems hes facing bc you'll always be there for him"(reassure him that bc if he is depressed he needs to know that someone cares about his feelings. Do not take no for answer, you need to make sure he opens up to you bc you wontb be able to help him if he doesnt. Dont threaten to leave him bc that would just make him feel more self conscious. The most important thing for him is to know that you'll be there for him and you love him -- trust me, thats something he needs to know. If his issues are something beyond your control, make sure you get him to seek help bc at any given day you can lose him if he doesnt learn how to control his emotions. I hope I helped :)
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