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Hes so confusing!
Hi its me again! I was the girl who had the trouble with the mormon guy I like.
Well he is just so confusing. Because despite this "Oh well my parents blah blah blah" He is still acting very flirty. After school he comes and sits with me while I wait to get picked up and we just stand there with our arms around each others waists looking outside and then he pulls me in for a close hug (sorry for the over-detail, I am a girl lol) and we just hug forever! What is his deal?!
I want to tell him something along the lines of "I'm sorry but I dont want to do this whole friends-but-more-but-not-really thing. I like you. And I don't want to do that to myself. I think we should be just friends or I think we should go out." But a lot less mean. Or not.
I should also mention he's one of my best friends and even if we can't date he's such an omportant person to me that I don't want this to mess everything up but I'm afraid if we're alone he's going to want to be all huggy and flirty and I just can't do to myself.
GIRLY MOMENT:
Ok so when I seem him my heart skips a beat and I get all fluttery and my breath get quicker and all I want to do is hold his hand and feel his strong warm one around mine (we've held hands once before).
I think only a few teenagers can truely love and I'm not going to flatter myself and say that I do, but gosh I really really like him.
I want to stop but I cant!!! And mostly I want to have a relationship with him. Any advice????
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well I'm certain he likes you, but can the relationship move beyond that? The person who posted after me earlier had a point: it might not be the Church per se, but his parents, that are preventing him from going beyond friends with you.
I kind of feel bad for you, especially that it is him that has the restriction on this yet it doesn't sound like he is stopping things. In a sense, this is forcing you to make the decision. It might have been easier on you if he had said "Look, my parents/church/whatever is going to keep us from dating, so lets end this now".
Someone might need to be the decisive one and bring this up, otherwise the two of you might go on being close and the feelings will deepen. Then you will have to either ignore parents and Church to be together (would you both be willing to do this?). If not...I really would suggest the two of you having a talk and possibly just remaining as friends for a while...the more you 2 are together, the harder and harder this will be on you (well, on him as well).
Hopefully (!), he isn't just using this as an excuse to NOT have to commit to you, and still be able to be all huggy-feely with you. Later in life, you might find a lot of guys who dont want to date you or have a relationship, but they will want you to consent to sex. While the two of you havent gone to that extent yet, I hope he isn't the kind of guy that would steer you in that direction. And I'll tell you now, a lot of guys are like that.
I know what you mean when you say that you want to tell him the "Friends but more but less thing" thing isn't going to happen. A lot of this comes down to what you owe yourself. Plus I would say you need closure on this one way or the other - either dating, or break up. If you feel bad that you cant date when you want to, then maybe you owe yourelf finding someone who can.
If the relationship cannot, will not, be able to happen for whatever reason, the longer you continue to be more then friends with him the more it will hurt you emotionally when things do come to an end. I know you want to be with him, and its tough...but if he cannot meet you halfway then what else CAN you do but break up? Well, other than following him around hoping something changes...which might never happen.
When you are older, you might very well look back at this guy and think that he was just one of your first big crushes. If you do break up with him, sure you'll feel lonely and all that for a bit...but it wont last forever. I really don't like sounding like an older person thats all bitter aboout relationships (lol), but I would still say that you'll meet other people and this might turn out to be just a small thing when your 15 years older than you are now.
Can you talk to a parent, like maybe your mother? An older sibling or another relative? That might help you too, to get more advice from family. But, I can understand if your afraid of getting the whole "You shouldn't date anyone who isn't Jewish, and besides your too young to date anyways". But if your parents do tell you "You can meet a nice Jewish boy", as corny as it sounds it is a possibilty (though I wouldn't be that restrictive, myself). But at least that way, maybe religion wouldnt be a problem.
In a nutshell: you want to stop, but you cant. But if you dont, it will possibly get worse...so breaking it off now might be better, even if it isn't easy. You might want a relationship with him, but he says he cant...so possibly talk to him and if he cant be budged on this just tell him "Sorry then maybe its time we are just friends".
I'm hoping for the best for you. GL.
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