|
Guy_has_a_crush_on_me
This is a very unusual situation--An extremely shy guy from graduate school has a crush on me, but he has been too shy to talk to me for about a year. I have overheard many times from various people that X has a crush on me. The problem is that i'm not interested in him, and I don't know how to stop this distraction. (He has been following me to public places--at some distance--for the past couple of months and just watching me). I'm getting tired of this, and I would like his talking about me and following me to places to end. The problem is that he is extremely shy and hasn't done anything to "cross the line", but his following me--at a distance--and staring at me has become distracting. He is obsessed with me, and I would like it to stop. But I don't know how to approach him without either a)seeming like a bitch by telling him to stop following me OR b)giving him the wrong idea that I'm interested--Which I am not because he is straight out of undergrad and way too young for me, since I am 26. Please give me advice on how to tactfully handle this guy's obsession. Thanks.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If there are people telling you about the crush, I'm assuming some of these people know him as well. Grab one of them and have them say to him "Look, dude, your creeping her out, and now, she probably isn't going to be interested now that you've more or less stalked her". Especially if you have a male friend who isn't a push-over and would do this for you without caving his face in on principle, I;ve done similar things for friends myself in the past.
Following you IS crossing the line IMO, I mean wow I've had crushes but I've never followed anyone...and the staring thing is just creepy.
Another option is to go to school officials, maybe a counselor, and try to find someone who is willing to take a walk with him and explain things to him. My bet is that someone might be willing to help.
If you cannot find a friend to talk to him for you, you may have to do it yourself and be blunt/honest. But he needs to be told, by you or someone else. Then, if this guy is unbalanced enough to still follow you, go see the police (or campus security, would be applicable I guess).
Don't let this go, it may seem melodramatic but if this guy is following you (and possibly obsessing over you), letting it go and hoping it will resolve itself will become less and less likely.
]
More Questions: |