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me and my boyfriend have been goin out for 1 year and 2months its been great but some days have been filled with tears he gets mad ans brakes up with me.he is really jealous and his always thinks that im checkin guys out when i dont i love him so much and he loves me to but he broke up with me because i used to talk to this guy and because he remembered the first day that we had sex and i told him that i thought it would be different so he broke up with me and said that he doesnt need me and that it was over because i hurt him but the truth is that he has broken up with me so many times and all the times it hurts me so bad but we always get bad 2gether but this time i just couldnt handle the pain and i started to cutt my rist i was tryin but i just cant do it all i do is thin about him how i cant live with out him please help me i need advice to help our relationship to be better cuz i relly love him.
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You probably know this, but a REALLY jealous boyfriend isn't exactly good boyfriend material. Everyone's human and it's normal to be jealous, but when someone takes it too far and makes it more dramatic than it should be, it becomes a problem. Although his jealousy may mean he loves you, it may also mean he does not TRUST you. And trust is just about everything in a relationship. Without it, you guys wouldn't even be together.
Another thing you should be concerned about is, he definitely keeps grudges. If he gets mad at you for saying you thought it would have been different when you first had sex, that's not very understanding is it? I mean, I've never had sex, so I can't really say anything about that, but I heard that a lot of the time it's a lot more different (and sometimes disappointing) than you would first expect. Someone that keeps grudges isn't exactly who you'd want as a boyfriend. Especially grudges about things that he shouldn't even be mad at.
If he said he didn't need you, then just accept it. You know why? Because you don't need him either! I know, it's hard to say that about someone you love! But in truth, we don't NEED ANY boyfriend. I think he has hurt you more than you have hurt him. And even if he is more hurt than you are, it's probably because he made it way bigger than it should have been. He obviously isn't thinking about YOU. He is just hurting you to the point where you want to hurt yourself. Do you honestly think that's what a good boyfriend would do?
Girl. You. Need. To. Handle. Your. Pain. Differently.
Cutting is never the answer. Why hurt yourself? You are hurt enough, now you want to hurt yourself physically too? What if you cut a vein? What if you keep going deeper? What if you go too far someday, can't come back, and commit suicide? Suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem. Remember that.
Of course you think about him all the time. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't get over him. If he can get over you so easily and throw words around like that, you can get over him as well and go on with your life.
There is more than just one guy out there. We date because it gives us a chance to bond with someone, gain new experiences, and learn what you need and want. When it doesn't work out, you move on and live your life. You do not have to be confined to one boy that hurts you deeply.
Okay, so now that I read your last sentence, I see that you are asking me how to make the relationship better. Honestly honey, I don't think you should bother with that guy.
But, maybe that's not what you want to hear. So if you ignore everything I have said above (I hope you didn't), at least listen to me now. If you want a future with your boyfriend, you need to sit down with him and TALK. You have to explain to him what he is doing to you. Tell him EVERYTHING, starting from how he hurt you, to that day you guys had sex. Talking will definitely help, or it should anyway if he is a good boyfriend. Of course talking won't totally do it. You need to take action. Come to agreements! Tell him you'll talk to less guys just for him if he stops being jealous. And don't come to give-in-to-my-boyfriend agreements, come to agreements that aren't too much for you. Every time he hurts you, don't go home and cry silently. You tell it to him right then and there. Tell him before he ever thinks about breaking up again, make him agree the two of you will talk for one day before he decides. That will give him time to cool off and hear YOUR side of the story and your thoughts. And if he ever says he wants to break up even after that, just forget about him, because he obviously wants to control you and get everything he wants. Once he's gone don't take him back, because look at what it's done to you now.
Good luck to you, and drop your boyfriend when you know it's time.
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