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Strange Boyfriend - Reply
Thanks so much for replying WiseWoman. Just reading what you had to say has made me feel better, and your words have helped at the least. I know what you're saying is right but I find it so hard to break away from Mick (my 'boyfriend'). I saw him this weekend and he was really nice to me but all the while we were together his mobile phone was switched off. As I left him he switched it on and received 2 text messages which he wouldn't let me read. His behaviour is suspicious, he's unstable and unpredictable but he protests that he wants to be with me and 'can't live without me.' I have become depressed again as I never know where I am with him and, although I've moved away, it seems as though he won't stay out of my life, particularly begging to see me at weekends. The rest of the week he doesn't really make the effort and accuses me of seeing other men, even though I know it is him who is untrustworthy. Why does he behave like this? My friend thinks that Mick has some sort of personality disorder, wants to control me from afar and would rather upset me and prevent me from getting on with my life than not have any contact at all. What do you think?
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Darling, you read my advice, and it's still the same.
Although I am not a professional in personality disorders, I do think that Mick might have some sort of mental problem.
On the other hand, it is so common for men to want to have complete control over women, and often these types of men are the ones who are not only emotionally and physically abusive but also mentally unstable.
I really do think you are making a mistake by staying with Mick. Can't you see how he is further manipulating you by telling how he needs you and can't live without you.
And also, I'm really sorry to say this, but he is using you for a convenience relationship. In other words, he sees you when HE wants to. You don't seem to have a say in anything.
Darling you have already entered the downward spiral of a dead end realtionship.
Is anything good coming out of your relationship with Mick?
It seems to only be getting you down, andyou're feeling depressed.
Shouldn't a mutally beneficial relationship make a person feel fulfilled and happy?
Your friend has said it spot on!
As hard as it is going to be, get rid of him!
And from what you have said, it sounds like when you do, things could get ugly. Trust me, I know! I've been there!
So take precautions!
Does he know where you live?
If so, change your locks on your doors, or if you can afford to... MOVE.
Change your phone number.
And if you feel afraid of him... get a restraining order against him.
Most importantly, if you want to speak to him face to face about not seeing him again, make sure it is in a public place, or take a friend with you, who can wait outside or in another room for you.
I know all of this may sound drastic, but you know him better than anyone.
Think about his personality and his reactions. Then think about what kind of steps you need to take to cut him out of your life completely.
Think long and hard before you do anything though. Ask yourself important questions like, has our relationship ever made ME feel good?
Has he ever come to visit me? What good has come out of your relationship?
Think carefully...
Deep down you know what you need to do for yourself...
Think of yourself before him!
Good luck!!
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