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How do I make friends?
So I am a 34 year old female and I have no friends my age all my friends are at least in there 60's and I have been going to counseling and my counselor says I need to make some friends that are girls my age to just hang out with . I went to church last night my step dad dropped me off because I don't drive. This girl I use to be friends with in highschool asked if I was going to the Christmas at the church and I said I was going to try . She asked if I needed a ride? Does this mean she wants to be my friend again? I said yes. We didn't get in to a fight after highschool we just lost touch. How do I go about asking her to hangout with out sounding weird? I just don't want to send off the wrong message.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Based on her response, I think she wants to be your friend! Despite your "i will try" suggesting no confirmation, she said that she's got you covered in case you decide to come.
she clearly wants to reconnect with you and if you two are the same age and go to the same Church, you should try asking her to hang out. Making friends as an adult is difficult so remember to be patient and give her the benifit of doubt, theres a low chance of her disliking you. Since she suggested this! If you ask her to hang out, it would be a totally normal message and would tell her that you enjoy her company. Who knows maybe you'll gain another friend. Good luck!
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Sounds like you are very timid and prone to overthinking everything. I used to be like that in grade school. Always thought the worst when people looked my way, thinking they thought the worst of me and now looking back I realize it was all in my head. Its a long time since highschool and you sound like you haven't made any friends your age since highschool. Perhaps the older ladies are friends because they have experienced enough life to learn how to reach out to people. I don't suppose you reached out to them first. If you did, then do the same with people your age. A person offering you a ride in itself is not a clue whether the person wants to become a close friend. A stranger can be nice even and want to help without knowing you or wanting to be your friend. But since you know her from high-school, talk to her more. If having a conversation with someone is hard for you to do, then read the following closely: Ask only open ended questions, not closed ended questions. A closed end question is one that can be answered yes or no and the conversation usually stops there unless you make a comment or ask another question with then feels awkward. Yup, I've been there. Example would be "Do you like Mexican food?" Their answer would be a yes or no. If the person is very outgoing and talkative, they might add what kind of Mexican food in particular but heres a tidbit for you. The majority of people out there will not ask a question first, especially with someone they don't know well or a stranger. I find I am the one always starting a conversation However most people are friendly and like to talk so once you get them started, they warm up and start offering pieces of information.
Such an example in my life would be when a woman in front of me at Starbucks ordered a custom made coffee by name and I quickly realized that since it wasn't listed on the reader board. They knew her well and knew how to make her drink. After I put in my order and we were waiting for our coffees, I asked an open ended question, one that can't be answered by yes or no. I said I had overheard her order and was curious as to what was in it, if she didn't mind telling me. She lit up and started explaining the name she gave it and all the ingredie.nts and that it was pretty much the only kind of drink she ever ordered at Starbucks. She even volunteered to have them pour off a sample of her drink for me to try. When you ask people questions, it shows a level of interest in them. Paying someone a compliment goes well towards that too. But be honest, only mentioning if something looks pretty on the person, even if its not your style and it can be anything, the shoes, jewelry, hairstyle, even the sound of their laugh . I bet if you strike up conversation by asking this past friend offering a ride, some questions, she'll warm right up. Probably doesn't think you are currently interested in reforging an interest. Some people do change enough after school so that they no longer have things in common to be friends. You won't know that til you get brave enough to try, and not only with this one person but others too. I am truly interested in hearing back how it goes for you since this was something I had to overcome myself in the past.
Blessings, Dragonflymagic
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