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Horrific, (but benign) sexual problems.
I'm 41/m. and for years, I've had this nightmarish condition of bleeding from my junk from getting aroused. I don't even have to ejaculate. NOPE, just some blood in my junk causes bleeding, most of the time. The urologist just plays it off as benign and "you'll be fine." But if I can't even get an erection without bleeding, how the hell am I supposed to ever have sex again?!?!??. And the doctors say "no big deal, go home". Let alone sex..., can't even clean the pipes once in a while! It generally doesn't hurt. But what hurts 10000 times more, is that I can't get my jollies, mostly, ever. And , that fucking kills me Psychologically. At this point, I'd be better off being impotent. I could understand some super old dude having to deal with this, but I'm 41. I should have plenty of "plowing" years ahead of me. BUT NOPE. I'm fucking cursed! And its really taking
down a dark, suicidal road. Why do I want to live with a literal fear of getting aroused? I'll wake up with a boner and I'll do what I can to make it go away and pray that there won't be blood when I go pee. This is what my life has been reduced to. I'm having a real hard time with this. I just dont know how I can handle this. I can't afford a psychologist. Meanwhile, everything else is going great in my life, obviously I can't have a girlfriend. but, finances and my living situation is pretty good. Long story short, the thought that I'm gonna have to be celibate for the rest of my life just kills me. And by celibate, I mean, I can't even "get off" without bleeding out of my dong and maybe a trip to the hospital if its bad enough. So, yeah... why would anyone want to live like this? Is there really anything else? Yeah, it sounds shallow. "help others" etc... I can't really think about much else besides how worthless I am and how I'd be better off just dying. If my body is so fucked up, I can't even get off once in a while. Which is a damn shame because, I've worked so hard to get out of being fat, and now I'm actually fit, and NOPE, God just said a big "FUCK YOU, YOU WON"T BE HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO!" I really feel like a worthless pile of shit. I know I'm not a bad guy or anything. But this problem FUCKING KILLS ME! Doctors all tell me "its fine, you'll live." Easy for them to say, since they're not experiencing this. Anyway, Not sure what I'm looking for here. Some kind of insight or advice? I really wouldn't know what to say to someone with this problem. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Re-read "Solid Advice 4 teens" answer, I couldn't agree more. You need medical care that you are not receiving,change doctors and see a urologist ! You can also obtain counseling , which I would recommend. Most communities offer sliding scale or even free counseling at a clinic or training venue, you can find them in the reference section of your library , or on line.
Please do something about this, your bleeding is a sign of a serious physical problem that needs to be addressed.
Good luck, Dr. Stephanie
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If you have blood coming out of your genitals urinating or at any other time that's a sign something isn't right physically. You don't need a psychologist you need your GP to refer you to a urologist or someone who is going to actually help you. You could even go to an ER and tell them this is happening when you urinate or try to engage in anything sexual.
They can figure out what is going on and fix it. This is something you should not put off. You aren't permanently screwed or have a defective body either. You just need proper medical care.
If your doctor keeps sending you home and isn't treating the issue lay into them and insist they take it seriously or you'll find a doctor that can. Don't hesitate to ask for a referral or go to an emergency room to get checked out. Any time you see blood like this when you pee or have a normal erection there's something wrong there that really needs to be looked after. Blood is a really important sign something is wrong and should be looked into pronto. If the doctor doesn't take it seriously find one that will.
As far as a girlfriend goes I don't think you're screwed there or will remain celebate forever or have fears that you are having now. You aren't cursed but rather someone with a problem that needs to be seen to and rectified.
NOTHING I REPEAT NOTHING is worth feeling suicidal about or thinking of that. This is just an issue they can help heal. If you're feeling this way you need to tell someone about it and visit an ER immediately because those thoughts aren't normal and you could be and or are in crisis and need intervention. I think it's time you did go to the emergency for both of these issues as feeling suicidal is something that you need help with and intervention as you are in crisis. You need to be observed and helped by professionals and placed on a hold so they can get your health and life in order.
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If the doctors you have seen don't seem to care to investigate more, then you need to keep trying new Drs. I'll bet if any of your Drs. had the same problem, they would be doing everything they could to find a solution.
The medical system today is very messed up. I generally have no confidence in it, except for a few people in the medical community who stand out because they are doing what they do because they love it, they're not in it for the money but to help people, cus that's where their heart is at.
I can't drive this home more importantly other than to share a story of my own to give you hope. No, I don't have the same story as you, and I am a female but only til recently did I accidentally come across a Dr my insurance covered who really cared. It started 17 years ago. I noticed some slight double vision in my left eye. My right was fine but strained at times for carrying more of the load. Right from the start, every new optometrist I had, I would mention my issue and all told me nothing could be done for me. Meanwhile, the vision got so bad I stopped driving. My husband did all the driving and I had to rely on him to take me to appts and such. At one point, it was so bad I thought perhaps this was the start of cataracts which I knew to be a real thing so I saw my Dr. who told me to see an Ophthalmologist, the eye Dr. trained for eye diseases and such issues. In the past, such a Dr. did not seem concerned when I told him, but in his records wrote I had the start of cataracts due to age. So I see an Ophthalmologist of my choosing who is in my insurance network and this Dr. referred me to a Neural Ophthalmologist who knows how to check if there is a problem with any nerves. This all came about last year. SHe found I had what seemed to be what she called 6th nerved palsy. But to be careful and not assume in case it was a mass growing behind my eye, I was sent for a scan of the brain. There was no mass. So now I had to see an Ophthalmologist who could test me and fit me for what I was told were special lenses. So I called Dr.s on the list of those covered by insurance. Had to leave messages as two didn't answer and I figured this was due to pandemic. Of the ones I spoke to, none had experience in this area but told me they'd be glad to fit me with special lenses. I had already seen one Dr whose equipment couldn't measure how bad my eyes were. One of the Drs. I left a message, called bad. Told me of his website which I looked at as I was on the phone. What was different about him already was that he specialized in eye therapy. I went to him and found he was the most caring, encouraging person i had the luck to discover. I wish I had people to send to him. Insurance didn't cover him for eye therapy, only for regular optometrist visits which he also does. He had me see him once a month, out of pocket 80. a month but I diligently did the exercises. Due to a palsied nerve that I got in childhood, born with, my eye was 20 degrees off center, slightly noticeable if you knew to look for it. But that was way too big a gap to correct my vision so he had me do exercises to strengthen the other eye muscles and bring the eye back to only 10 or 11 degrees off center because at that point lenses could be made for me. I am now wearing them and able to see without double vision for first time in 17 years. Now how do you think I felt before, having every Dr. tell me it's nothing that can be fixed but I'll live. Unfortunately I have to accept that I would live rest of my life with double vision. That was pretty depressing. So I do understand a bit of feeling depressed by what Drs told me.
Maybe I bored you with that but I can't stress more to not give up on finding a Dr. who really cares. A Dr. who cared would run all sorts of tests on you, would take the issue of bleeding seriously and explain to you in ways you can understand what is going on, or if nothing, explain that too and why it is not anything to be alarmed about. You may have two issues here. Bleeding and ED. I am guessing that if bleeding is never related to ED that your Drs. have simply written you off as not having a problem. Keep trying hon. I know it shouldn't be this way with medical care but it is pretty F'd up so do not trust what Drs. say that its nothing unless they are willing to run tests, scans, whatever, and explain their findings as to why or why you don't have a problem. If there is nothing physically causing the bleeding, then the next step would be seeing a psychologist to see if there is any way you could be contributing to issue mentally. Don't overestimate the powers of the mind to do good or bad. Yes, I am female so I can not know what it feels like for a guy not able to have sex. its a genes thing for my husband. Some people are born having the genetic marker for ED problems when they get older and then there a men who get realy old but never have the problems. All my hubby can do it take like 1/2 a dose of cialas and sometimes the other brand, cus a full dose gives him other issues. So he doesn't use it often. The saving grace is our connection compatibility wise and romantically. We have the chemistry, so his just listening to me talk, or his just looking at me or my using hands or mouth to touch him always help. Never ends up hard like when younger but we can make it work and probably have sex more often than folks without the issue. Just sharing that so you know there is hope to find an understanding woman willing to do whatever she can to help cus she loves you.
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