|
Should I get an abortion?
I'm a 24 yr old female in desperate need of advice. I found out this past weekend that I'm pregnant (5 weeks) and I've been stressing ever since. I'm very torn on what decision to make and when I try to outweigh the pros/cons I feel like the best decision would be abortion. I have an almost 3 yr old that I'm trying to be the best mom for, I've struggled with depression since I was pregnant with her and I just feel as though it'd be unfair to have another child when I'm not where I want to be in life. I need emotional and financial stability and splitting myself more would not be ideal. My big hesitation comes from a fear of what ifs and/or regretting my decision. As well as this overwhelming feeling of guilt..probably because I don't really feel I have a someone I can talk to this about that wouldn't be judgmental. I've been trying to think carefully this week but I don't know what to do. I don't want to wait any longer because I know it'll make the decision even harder, I truly feel deep down that abortion would be the best option but I'm struggling to make a final choice. Thank you in advance, any advice is appreciated.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abortion?
I am sorry that you are having to deal with such a difficult choice at this time. I would encourage you to contact Planned Parenthood for some free counseling to help you with your decision, and to explore all the available options.
You didn't mention the father, whether he's available, interested in parenting , custody, child support (mandatory!) or not.
I would also encourage you, when this is decided, to explore and to properly use an effective means of birth control. You don't need a third pregnancy at this time in your life.
Good luck and good wishes, ~Dr. Stephanie
]
It’s important tо tаkе thе timе уоu nееd tо make thе bеѕt decision fоr you. It’s аlѕо a good idea tо talk tо a nurse оr doctor аѕ ѕооn аѕ уоu саn ѕо уоu саn gеt thе bеѕt medical care possible. Thе staff аt уоur local Planned Parenthood health center iѕ аlwауѕ hеrе tо рrоvidе expert medical care аnd support, nо matter whаt decision уоu make.
]
The final decision is going to be yours but I will share whatever I can think of for you to consider.
It's your body so its your decision whether to abort or carry full term.
I've never had an abortion so I
can't state things that might help you decide to go through or not depending on any side effects but you may want to ask around.
I understand being single Mom and concern over being able to care for a 2nd child, especially if its just you right now. So you are smart to look ahead and wonder if its best, not for others, but for you and the child. Your future may change and therefore the what ifs or fear of regretting the decision.
So here's one more option for you if it sounds good. What if you carried to full term but before getting there, get signed up for open adoption. This is where you have a say in whom you choose for the adoptive parents and you remain a part of the child's life as much as that other couple agree to, so visits and birthdays, holidays, special functions like recitals or school plays when child is older. And the child grows up knowing you are the birth Mom and the other couple are the adoptive parents. This has worked for many and if I were in the position you are, it's what I would want.
Since the depression you have has come only since pregnant, yours is not the typical all life long depression that people battle with meds. However my daughter had this pregnancy depression start right after birth of her first child, due to all the hormone changes from pregnancy. She had to go on meds for a while to help her body cope. For some women the depression with pregnancy can last varied amounts of time. With daughter it was about 5 years, my 2nd husbands 1st wife had depression for 9 years after but didn't take meds. I know of some one else where it was much less, 1 or 2 years. Since you are pregnant, you may not be able to take certain meds while pregnant. But you really should go to see a Dr about this. Even if you abort, those hormones will still be playing havoc with you for sometime after. I am serious about you going to see a Dr for depression. At worst, it could affect your thinking and daughter confided she had feelings of killing herself and baby even though she at same time knew it was wrong and that's why she told me and we got her in to a Dr right away.( I was her transportation.)
Something else you mentioned but didn't ask for advice with is contraception. Again I share out of experience. I took the pill for a while but Dr. took me off when it made fibroids grow that were extra pain with each period. I tried the diaphragm with spermicide but the struggle of not being able to be spontaneous having to stop and fiddle a while to get it right. Thats when I asked my Mother for suggestions. She mentioned using a copper IUD, its called Paragard and IUD means Intra-uteran device. So I asked Dr. for that. I used it for 5 years or so til I was ready to have a kid. This copper type once inserted by Dr. will last 10 years before needing to be replaced. There are hormonal ones available but they last only about 3 years. So the one time cost instead of monthly pills, or shots or other choices will even out in the end unless the prices have seriously gone up since I used. I couldn't have the hormonal based ones due to first problem I mentioned. I hope all this info helps you. In your case, not having a life partner yet, its not fair to have no sex life until then, so getting something fuss free like an IUD might be great. You are always protected for sex, so you don't have to worry and if I recall correctly, in past the insurance covered it. Can't say if it is so now, but check with your insurance to e sure.
]
One situation to consider is adoption and finding a family that really wants a child and can take care of the baby and give it a life that you couldn't at the time. That's a very selfless but hard thing to do. If you are conflicted about abortion and not wanting to do that than this may be a way to do something positive by carrying to term and arranging adoption.
If you are fearing or regretting something already than that's your gut saying to you that handling the issue in that matter isn't right for you and would be ultra-traumatic long term. It could even affect you more with depression than anything and guilt.
Ultimately this is your body and your choice and decision to work out with your partner and nobody else should be involved in that discussion or judging you for what has to be difficult. We can't make the choice but if something is making you feel intense guilt that maybe that's not the option you need.
]
More Questions: |