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This girl love/loved me, but I don't know why she's giving me altitude
23 years male from Nigeria..... I met this girl about two months ago in school, you see I just got admission into university and we are both in the same class. When I first met her we clicked we had so much in common we became beasties,she would follow me around school and we call and talk to each other on the phone...she tells me deep personal stuff after herself and her family, she even jokingly said I should ask her out in like 3 months time....everything was going great until we both traveled for Christmas break but still got in touch with each other on the phone... She was even the first person to call and wish me happy new year...although I've not officially asked her out but we were like boyfriend/girlfriend..... on getting to school this January she just changed, if I call her to come over to my place she would say she's busy that she can't come, if I asked to meet after school she would say she is shy of face to face conversation(which she was not)that I should tell her what I want to on the phone...when she sees me in class she will just say hi and walk away...I've called and asked her why she's behaving that way but she says it's nothing....
Please I need advice I really like this girl
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I would back off and not contact her or have anything to do with her for awhile. Let her come to you. If she's interested in you in any fashion be it friend or more she will come around when she notices you haven't been around.
There's a chance she's frustrated with you. Maybe she's trying to be a friend but doesn't want that boy/girl relationship that you're looking for so she's backing off of you. I have a feeling that she's just not that in to you and isn't sure about being a friend either.
Perhaps she truly is busy with family stuff, school or preoccupied with something difficult that you don't know about. She could also have family that don't approve of you or doesn't want her hanging out with boys or have issues with culture that way. You just don't know but believe me if you totally back off of her and she wants you around as a friend or otherwise she'll come to you eventually. If she doesn't want either than you'll know to move on when she doesn't talk to you. I know you really like her but the ball's got to be put in her court.
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When a woman says "Its nothing" when asked why her behavior changed,its a natural response and the truth is, there really is a reason. Since she is not willing to tell you, my guess is she doesn't feel enough trust in you to open up and share whatever it is. Whatever deep things she shared before may be the exception because to her it was ok for her to share. Or perhaps she doesn't know how you will react if it has to do with you and not knowing if you will react badly like angry.
In a good working relationship, a couple must have terrific communication and understanding of each other. Without it the relationship will fail. I am sorry because I can't say there is anything you can say or do right now that will change things so you have a better chance of striking up friendship. See, her will is involved, as to wether she wants to become closer friends, date, share with you what her issues are. Younger women are afraid and always second guessing in their relationship and not always emotionally stable. An older woman would be able to answer a question, is confidant and better at communication her needs and wants.
I am thinking of one thing that could be going on. YOu stated you became besties, close friends. She must have sensed when things changed and you liked her romantically as well which is something a plain friendship does not have. If she does not feel that kind of chemistry with you and she doesn't want to tell you because she knows it would hurt and disappoint you, some people find it easier to avoid explanation, pretend it doesn't exist. If this is the case, she would feel uncomfortable as you would if the tables were turned and it was the other way around. Being with someone and trying to remain just friends with someone who wants more than friends, is un-nerving and puts a person in a spot of always second thinking their every move, action, word wondering if those things are making the other person have even deeper feelings for them, feelings they don't have. These are just possible reasons. All you can' do is write a note and have someone at school deliver to her and let her know you wish to hear the truth, even if it involves avoiding a person because they have feelings for you and you don't. You would at least appre'ciate the consideration of letting you know if thats the case. And then you write whether you are willing to try just friendship without asking her out, even if that is your greatest wish. If she doesn't respond to anything like that, then she is not a good candidate for a relationship until she is willing to communicate better and you can find someone better in time, even though at the moment you won't see it that way.
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