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my wife she was a slut but I want to keep her anyway
My wife was a slut and I want every one to know but I don't want her to know it came from me I want to shame her. But I want to keep her as my wife.
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Im assuming that you are a grown man. you said that you want to ell the entire world or the people you guys know that she is a slut, yet you want to stay with her as your wife. Does that make sense to you when you said it out loud. Im sure it didn't. you have to realize that she is your wife, if you think that she is a slut just divorce her and live your life. Telling people about her sexual life will not make you feel better about the pain the she have caused you.
Side Note : What happens in your home is between you and your wife. the moment you put other people like family and friends in your marriage they wont come out. Deal with your situation like a grown man don't act on your emotions because you wil regret it in the end especially if you have children with her.
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I do not recommend doing this. It appears this is something from her past and is no longer relevant. You do not say how you come to know this. Is this first hand information or did some ex boyfriend say something to you? What ever the reason she will know it came from you or she will find out you started whatever is said.
If this bothers you then I suggest you speak to your wife and clear the air between you. In this day and age it is not unusual for a woman to have a sexual history just as you may have had one. Clear the air iver this and if necessary seek counseling.
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I'll bet you don't even know why and what is prompting you to want to shame her. You used the word 'was' a slut as in past tense, sometime in the past. If she is no longer and she has changed, there is a saying to not define a person by their past. Apparently, your wife's past is more important to you than who she is now. This means you will forever be thinking of her in a limiting fashion. This is not fair to her. It is up to her whether she is willing to be treated so or not. Even if she doesn't know you told stories about her past, your behavior will follow your basic thoughts. You can't stop that from happening as it is psychological human behavior. What we think prompts our actions. Healthy thoughts, good actions, distorted or negative thoughts, bring forth bad behaviors. So even if she did not know that one things, your general behavior will have changed towards her and that is something she will notice. You say you want to keep her as a wife. She is not an object to be kept but has a choice to decide to stay or go at some point. Also, wedding vows include to love, honor and cherish ones mate. What you are considering doing goes totally against those vows. You may have married because you loved one or two things about her personality but did you marry because you were in love with her? I am asking what a psychologist asked my ex husband. He admitted he had never been in love with me and had only loved a few aspects about me. This means he did not treat me in ways that show how much he was in love. Hearing that, it finally made sense why he had treated me so poorly. So I left him. So if you are asking how to keep it secret that you are telling people about her past, no one here will do it. The best I can recommend is that you go see a mental health professional for yourself, or go to a marriage counselor because your plans, even if you only think it but never carry it out, simply the negativity in your mind will kill your marriage. Go see a professional. Don't feel bad about the negative distorted thoughts, as everyone has them. The only difference is that most people do not dwell on them and let those thoughts direct us into behavior that supports those thoughts. However there are people who can never let some things alone, especially negative thoughts and allow those thoughts to bother them instead of saying to their self that they must stop thinking such thoughts as they are not true, do not matter any longer, etc. SO there is skill for you to learn. Then you need to also learn why your mind feels it is important to shame another person. Were you shamed as a child growing up. If so, I am sorry to hear that but that is not right, should not have happened and deciding to be the vehicle to allow such dysfunctional ways to continue, rather than stay in the past, is not the way to go. You know it, but you have to really give this thought to be able to acknowledge that something isn't kosher about your line of thinking. I am not saying you are a bad person, only the behavior isn't at a place where a happy successful life and marriage would result. SO if you want a miserable life and to lose your wife, go ahead and do what you plan. But don't say I didn't warn you.
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