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I have an extreme desire to feel up and grope my female coworker. What shou
Your Letter: How can I stop myself from wanting to touch and feel up my female coworker? (#437849)
I work at Staples and there is this girl I work with, we talk a lot and we get a long really well. When she took over the cash register and I bent down to pick up something I dropped and then I had a an extremely strong desire to start rubbing her legs and thighs and slide my hands up her shirt and touch her breasts and down her pants to touch her buttocks and genital areas that took every fiber of my being to stop. Others days I see her I feel intense desire to grab her and touch her. Why am I getting this feeling and how can i Stop
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For a simple solution, I suggest you learn to be mindful or more aware of your feelings. You can do this by journaling your emotions to let them out, or just taking a moment to focus on your breath whenever this happens. It’ll help you see the situation more calmly and to act on it better. These are more simple beginner exercises from mindfulness meditations, and there’s a lot of scientific feedback on how it doesn’t only just relax, but allow you more discipline.
Other than that, I can’t tell you why you’re doing this. I don’t know you. If it could help ease the sexual frustration, it might do you good not to only do it solo, but to exercise at home or in the gym. Exercise just tends to release anger well of any kind. It helps. It really does.
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Apparently she had the kind of looks that can make you horny. In your lifetime, this isn't the only female you'll come across where you feel your body stir to life and a flood of desire overtake you. You have eyes in your head, so whether single, or married, you see and you may want. But unwanted touch will get you into jail and you don't want a record. Sexual harassment is not just touch but what you say if of sexual content, it too can end you up in a heap of trouble. Perhaps you haven't felt it be fore because You haven't come across a female that instills those kinds of feelings and reactions in you. Some people can be picky or have a lower libido so it may not have happened much or as strong before. In some of life's situations, you won't be able to avoid being around and working with females whom you react to this way. Why you feel like this is because its how humans were made. How to stop feeling it? I haven't heard of anything where you can shut off reactions to one woman but not any others. Either you get these urges or you don't at all in which case there may be something wrong and you should see a Dr. If this is the first woman you have ever had such a reaction to, then your male hormone levels may be too low. A neighbor male in his 30's saw his Dr. because he started out able to have desire and it slowly went away by his mid thirties due to hormone levels dropping. There are a few cases like that.
All that aside, you will have to do what all men have to do, exercise your self control. Which as you now know you are able to do. And you will be doing this all your life. A woman can't stop you from glancing at her, but if you say whats on your mind or touch her, then you are out of line. I am sure women don;t always battle such intense feelings where they are tempted to touch. It only happened once (I am female) when skirting between chairs to get around a table, I was passing a man whose hair struck me as so gorgeous that I was overrun by a great desire to bury my fingers in his hair. So I can imagine to a small extent what you must be feeling. So, get used to it. If you have no sexual partner or haven't had a girlfriend for a while, or no wife, then lack of ability to be sexually satisfied with a partner can make these thoughts and feelings more out of control and intense in strength and can take over the majority of what you ever think about in a days time. Hubby and I have known males like this who are married, may be best friends with wife but no real rewarding sex life or none any more and I don't have to be a mind reader to know they turn every thing they say into a sexual innuendo, simply because they are desiring so much that which they do not have. I am sure some may disagree with me but there have been many whom we know are single and have no woman in their life and these men are always talking as if they are God's gift to women. It is usually the quieter males, who are polite to women, who don't talk boastful about themselves sex wise, and don't walk with a swagger that are more likely to be the kind of man who surprisingly is a great lover. Can't judge a book by its cover, and same goes for what you see that excites you. What you see on the outside may end up being a poor lovers, a frigid woman or someone with whom you don't share chemistry. There is sexual attraction and physical ability to turn on your partner but thats just the physical level. I met a guy before my second husband who looked like he just stepped out of a male hot magazine, late forties but the kind of handsome all women would drool over. We went on a few dates and yes, checked each other out in all ways, but we both realized that other than the physical attraction, there wasn't enough there on the inside that matched enough to be best of friends, which is the most rewarding relationship, married or not. If you feel your situation is becoming more out of control, and you can't seem to muster enough self control, then go see a professional counselor for help. In the meanwhile, it may be a good thing to find a woman whom you can not just love aspects of but be in love with her. There is a great difference in how she is treated and the connection between the two and the sex is then much more rewarding. I have that with hubby and after 9 years with him, I can only say, the sex keeps getting better when I already thought it was as great as scientifically possible and both our desires for each other have not diminished. It is this kind of relationship that has pretty much killed any desire for anyone else for both of us. Not that we are actively looking for such people around us, but we are not impacted as you are when we see someone who is so beautiful or handsome.
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