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my baby
My girlfriend has got pregnant after only like 2 month we do love each other but she saying were not ready and financial and she already has 2 kids ages 2 and 5 and had said she wants more kids just when her youngest is at school full time what should I do.. But am ready 100 percent and always wanted a child too
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I agree with adviceman. I will share as well that I know from people I am familiar with that just because they love each other, that isn't always good enough to make a tough situation like this work. As stated, you are not married. When married, a couple needs to compromise and make decisions together as it affects their life. Singles who are simply dating but have not made that commitment, will have the experience only of decision making for one, themselves or some people still have the mentality of a single once in a committed relationship. You may believe that you are in a committed relationship simply because she agreed to be your girlfriend. There are two levels to dating couples, those who meet and hang out together, have sex, maybe even live together, as they learn more about the other and whether this is someone they like or would feel they are settling for less, in which case, the relationship ends and they move on to try another relationship.
But if they get along well together, then they become a committed couple, staying together long tern or life long, with or without a marriage certificate. Commitment comes from the heart, not a document. So you need to learn, aside from her being pregnant with 2 kids by someone else, exactly how she feels about you and you about her. She has already one man to do child support on the first two kids. It's not too big a stretch to have another child with a second daddy paying child support. However, she knows how much she can handle so I feel it is smart that she has decided it best to wait until the youngest is in Kindergarten or first grade if she already can't handle two kids full time without it stressing her emotionally or financially. I want you to do your best to put yourself in her shoes. This takes some imagination of you being female and pregnant, with two kids and the Daddy of the third child wanting to keep the child. You did not mention marriage. If she is hoping for marriage and man who will love her other two and raise them along with yours, being a Dad for all, then maybe that will make a difference, but maybe not. These are things you need to find out by having a good talk with her, not only checking out where you stand legally with a lawyer. Find out if she even wants a mate life long who will help her with the kids. Maybe she'd be game for keeping the child now if you could hire a pay a nanny/housekeeper to help her out. You know she can't do it financially. That is one reason she gave but I'll bet it isn't the only one. If you can not afford to help her out that way and marry her if she is willing, then having a happy little family of 5 is never going to happen for you. SHe is already in a desperate situation so if she learned to not make snap decisions because of her desperation, she may not jump at your offering to be her boyfriend for forever or husband for forever if she has a list of criteria that she wants in a mate and daddy for her kids and feels you just aren't the right one but better for the companionship right now than no one at all. I am not saying you're a bad man, just that a single woman with 2 kids can have many reasons for not going for any options you try to present to her including her carrying the child, giving it to you, getting whatever compensation from you for carrying the child, and then you as a single man trying to raise your child yourself. You'd soon find out how hard it is, especially trying to work and yet have to find good daycare for your kid. Its not easy.
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You're in a tough spot. Not being married you may not have any legal say depending on the laws of the state you live in. Most laws in this situation give her full say as to how she wants to proceed.
She can of course carry the baby to full term then she can give it up for adoption or keep the child. If she decides to keep the child to full term this gives you time to talk to her and to see if marriage is something you both want. If so problem solved and you keep the baby.
She can also decide to terminate the pregnancy. Her again it is her body and her decision alone to make.
I would suggest if you want to keep the baby that you seek out just what you legal standing is with a Lawyer specialising in a Family Practice Law.
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