|
Feeling super burnt out in college
I'm 24/f and I've been in college for around 5 years trying to get my bachelors. I work full time so I can't always take full time classes and had to take a semester off when I moved and had to find a new job. I still have a year and a half left of undergrad.
Anyways, I'm feeling very burnt out and like my bachelors degree is a giant waste of time. I'm so extremely tired of going to school and taking class after class with seemingly no end in sight. I feel like all I'm doing is wracking up debt. I'm newly engaged to my fiance and now the thing at the forefront of my mind (he's very solid in his career and financially) is us getting a house and getting married in the next two years. I know it won't be too long before he also starts wanting kids (probably around 5 years).
I've also gotten to the point where I realize my bachelor degree will mean little to nothing and I need a Masters in my chosen major to do anything with it. I feel scammed by my University advisors that create a false hope that there's a lot of openings in my career field, when in reality I've seen very few in the last few years.
A big part of me wants to say screw it, and go and get some kind of year to two year long medical certification that makes a satisfactory amount of money versus go to school for another four to five years for a job in my current major field. However, people keep insisting that my major is a good one and I'll be able to go on to do great things with it. Other people tell me to just finish my bachelors in my major and go for my Masters in something related, but in a different area.
I despise my classes currently and have no inspiration to continue on next semester. I just want to spend time with my fiance, work, do things I love, and live my life without the worry of studying, homework, and exams that seem to be never ending. I'm tired of professors saying they don't give A's in their class and I'm very much over borderline A/B grades which seem to happen a lot. I'll study intensely, have a high A all semester, and then in the last couple weeks the professors pile on more intense work to get more grades in their book and I'll wind up with something ridiculous like an 89.8B versus a 90A.
I really need some advice. I'm starting to feel like I'm just not cut out for this school thing, but it's too late to go back now. I can't take any further semesters off and I'm under pressure by my family, friends, and fiance to hurry up and finish a degree so I can move on with my life.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Colleges & Universities?
I do believe that getting degrees are good but equally that once you have one, it can be hard to find a job in your field. My husbands daughter went to a prestigious CG (computer graphics) college on te west coast. It is so hard that she saw about 75% of the other students drop out at aome point in time. The school was reported to be hard on you because if a student could handle the unrealistic demands and still come out on top, then they were more prepared for the hard work that came along with that field when they did get a job. She passed as one as the top of her class. You would think she could find work but she is a go getter and would approach people who weren't even hiring yet, to get her name and face known out there. Yet she found nothing. She did all sorts of jobs, many not related to her degree, like changing diapers in a nursery to drawing designs for a tattoo artist to tattoo on clients. Its been 3 years until she got a job doing what she has a degree for, and that after she married and they moved to New York. I share this story because it is a realistic version of what is going on with job availability. You may get the job but not for a couple years or more of searching.
My own oldest daughter went for a degree to become a medical assistant just to share about the medical field. When she was done, she kept in touch with classmates to learn if there were better places to apply at. She did not find anything and she applied a lot. So in desperation she started volunteering to work for free just to get some job experience in her field and someone took her up on that who had a private office. But even then, it didn't help her get a job later and she gave up and now works at Walmart of all places.
I don't know what your degree is or how it could help in the future. This is something for you and your fiancee to talk about. Every concern and every wish of yours, you need to bring up. If you haven't Talked about and asked him outright, you better!!! ASAP First you want kids and a house. So if you do not want to be married to a man who is against one or both, you need to know now! I am serious hon. Too many end up married to someone they didn't thoroughly discuss things with and have a man who they discover does not want kids or believes a house is a money pit and they'd rather spend money on fancy vacations all the time.
All of what you said is relevant to discuss with your soon to be husband. You can not make such big decisions on your own anymore as if he doesn't exist. This is your wake up call dear, when you have a life long partner, anything that will affect his and your relationship, whether something small or something big, should be brought up so that he can put in his ideas and wishes and not be surprised at the end. If he is basically going to be the only breadwinner, can you realistically be able to afford children let alone owning a house. Having enough money to go around, no matter what you earn is the plight of all people in this day and age. The economy to me includes the gap between wages earned and the cost of living. I recently watched a documentary on the homeless and it was done in a city I don't remember but trailer after trailer were parked alongside a several block long park. One of the men interviewed was a medical technician with a wife and two kids. He said he earned good money but was homeless because they couldn't afford the rent in the city but the city was where the jobs were. Those who decide to live out in the suburbs most likely will have to travel in city for a job and then comes into account gasoline and wear and tear on the vehicle and ability to get to work if it breaks down. An express bus isn't always a choice and may not exist where you can afford to buy a house. These are things you can't know ahead of time, like where you end up getting a job and where you will be able to afford the kind of house you want. The more financial obligations like this that must be met monthly, the greater your stress becomes. YOur fiancee needs to know if he doesn't how you hate your classes and want to go for the shorter degree. So you both need to check what those jobs pay and decide if you can make things work on a pay like that, not just meeting the current obligations but come up with calculations on adding in a mortgage payment, big gasoline bill and all the needs of kids growing up. If it still seems do-able, then you know that going for the lesser degree is something he will have no problem with agreeing upon. You may also want to plan ahead, what if you did not find a job right away, what if it takes 3 years like it did for my husbands daughter? How far off do you have to put wishes for starting a family or buying a house? What if the worst case is what happened to my daughter, having to give it up. I have heard the same thing my daughter did, that the medical industry field is the faster growing field there is, that they have so many job positions to be filled that are currently empty. I was recently at my medical clinic and spoke with the clinic supervisor about issues I had with how my case was handled. SHe apologized and thanks me so they can work on doing better. She explained that they do get lots of turnover or problems filling even just the receptionist jobs, not just the new doctors they needed, because of the cost of living in the city. She said most people can't afford on even medical clinic pay, to live in the city and have to commute so its hard to fill the position and then they are forever training new people who may drop the ball on something (which happened to me.) And so some who accept the job later leave because they find they discover they can't afford the commute and/or don't like having their own time eaten up by commuting so that when finally home, there's only enough time to eat, hug your kids and put them in bed and have an hour to yourself before you go to sleep so you can start it all over again. Kids will suffer if both parents have jobs that combined with commutes, leave little time for the children. Being able to afford daycare is one thing but the kids then don't get enough of you around to model them selves after and your enforcing of behavior you want in their lives. I know its hard to think ahead and even decide what you might do if you end up with just any old job at minimum wage or a little over. Of course none of us can know the future and what might go wrong and thats no way to live life, always fearing what could go wrong. But if the both of you can make a decision and agree what you both want to shoot for and have thought about most of the things that could leave you in a position of not having enough money for affording something, then it won't be as much a shock, especially if you know you may need to learn to roll with the punches. I live in a big city and have seen an increase in the amounts of couples who are late thirties or in their forties with their first child in a stroller, going for neighborhood walks together. One of the possible reasons they start a family so late in life is because they couldn't afford to do that until then. If you end up not able to afford the wedding you wished for, your line of thinking will be important to help you through, both of you bolstering the other up with, At least we found each other and are still going to be married, even if the wedding isn't what we dreamed of. Or perhaps you end up not able to afford the house you dream of and have to be happy crammed into something much smaller, but a house you can afford.
]
You sound very stressed out and may not be seeing things to clearly at the moment. I do like your thinking of getting a medical technicians degree or certification. Depending on what you are looking for you could work in a variety of places. Many of the medical technician training courses are only six months long.
Of course obtaining your BA is also important regardless of whether you work in your chosen field or not. My daughter in-law decided to go for her Masters Degree as it will mean more money in the field she is working and will also open more doors for her to advance her career. Like you she did not wish to become overwhelmed by school work or rushing from work to school. she has chose to get her degree through on-line courses taking one class a semester. Yes it took longer but her stress level will be lower and she will obtain her goal. She will receive her degree in June. Like you she also had to plan a wedding so she took that semester off.
From what you have written you have many avenues open to you. I suggest you finish this semester then take a semester off to relax and talk with your fiance as to just which avenue is best for you to follow that he can support.
]
More Questions: |