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HE ASKED ME TO HIS PLACE AFTER OUR FIRST DATE..WHY?
we went for ice cream and the park....i had fun...but ....i know not everyone wants to screw after the first date but then again...why ask me to his place.... same shyt, diff guy....will it ever end....smdh, everybodies isnt a hoe ...there are a handful of folks who have some type of morals....this is a HUGE dating turn off for me....and why I like to turn down dates when dudes ask me out
my friend replied to my question with the following
No, it will never end. If you're going to date guys, then you're going to get asked for sex. Adults have sex, that's reality. Having it on the first date would be too soon, though, IMO.
Hon, refusing to have sex before marriage doesn't make you "moral" or better than anyone else - it simply makes you someone who doesn't want to have sex before marriage. I think you'd have better luck dating guys who are very religious. The whole "purity" thing doesn't make sense to most people who are not religious.
I replied
I don't think im better than anyone else cuz ive remained pure and moral by choice, I am not a toy...sex after the first date or the 10th date and not married is whorish....
whos right or wrong here
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Just succ u won't no balls
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Hi hon. Sorry to hear things have not been going good for you. I married at 20, a Christian guy. We never had sex before marriage. Shortly after marriage, he began to verbally abuse me, treated me worse than he treated friends, and plus we had no chemistry in bed and he was never turned on by me, yet we produced 3 kids. I was just a female body to f**k when the urge which was seldom, arose and yet he had the guts to call me frigid.
I am not sure if your objection is to sex on the first date, on the second or just before marriage.
You are welcome to your own thoughts on this so if you want to wait til marriage, just keep in mind, you might not know what you are getting in bed until you're already married. If you are okay with that, great. Try as suggested, a Christian singles dating site. Other wise, if just objecting to sex early in dating, that is a good thing. There are two parts to the foundation of a good solid rewarding and successful relationship.
ONe is being each others best friend and the other is something best friends usually dont do, its the sexual chemistry, being each others sexual equal, the romance. I will say here that I had the high libido which meant I wanted sex regularly and he had a low libido, so he only wanted it seldom and only when he wanted, not when I did.
In todays world with all the bullying and name calling, I can understand feeling like someone might call you a whore but a good relationship is having both a best friend and also the terrific lover. I told my girls to never mind what our church taught about waiting til marriage. I said that if they found a guy whom they thought might be the one to marry, then it might be better to 'test drive' the guy first. That's how I said it and I explained, that people will test drive a new car but cars come and go during your life. A husband is supposed to be for your whole life so its even more important to get the one you really like. And of the two married, they indeed did have sex before marriage at some point.
I do agree with you that if a guy likes you enough on a first date, he should invest more time into getting to know you. Sex early on can sometimes happen if there is a great sexual pull on both but for the most part, if a guy tries for sex early, he is sending the message that you aren't worth getting to know as a friend, only as a lover. True, its important to him to know what you are like as a lover but he is showing his priorities. A guy shouldn't be skipping the friendship part and instead give it a chance, to get to know your personality and character first. Then if he's still interested, sex is appropriate. I met my 2nd husband online after meeting many many 'frogs'...guys who weren't truly a prince of a man. My husband was a gentleman and let it be known by his compliments that he found me beautiful and was interested. But he left it also to me to make the first move for even a kiss, and later sex. He was willing but he made sure I was given the chance to decide when. He also believed a couple should eventually try sex to see how they do before they get locked into marriage. But even with that belief, he left it to me. It truly is hard to find the right guy. But it can be done dear. I have a list of criteria I came up with for the kind of guy I need and want and put that on my dating site. Many said I was too picky. But I also found the majority of men were impressed and actually liked the challenge to prove themselves to me. It seems that sticking to what you want, without having to explain yourself to them, comes across as appealing to men because it conveys you have self confidence and are not going to put up with crap. I already did that the first time around. I learned my lesson. Eventually my husband wrote to me. He put it off for a year because he thought I was too good to be true, that I was full of shit as he said. But once we met, he realized I was the real thing, genuine and we fell for each other. Just stick to what you want, don't settle for less. If you get too much more of this and want to find the guy to marry, you might try one of those dating sites for pay. The kind of guys who get on there are more likely to be serious about finding the right woman and less into playing games and all the other crap. I wish you well dear.
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Your morals are your morals and they are good ones. Guys can either accept them or find someone else.
My suggestion is; if you want to find someone with your morals you should use a dating site like Christians.com. Most every faith has a dating site so people of the same faith and believes can find each other. You can also look for guys to date at your Church. Guys that are members of the men's club or church fellowship program may have your moral up-bringing.
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