|
How to avoid this annoying guy
OK, so I'm in a few classes with this guy, but I sit near him in my history class, and whenever I'm trying to do my work, he tries starting a conversation with me, usually about personal matters, like how hungover I was. I probably should have expected questions like that because I regrettably posted pictures of my drinking on social media. I had a drink called Magners, and he mocked me for it saying "Why did you have to drink the CHEAP Strongbow?" We all have different tastes and personally I don't think Strongbow would taste nice. Plus I don't come from the richest family in the world, and they probably thought Strongbow was too expensive (this was at a new year party). A lot of people made little digs at the alcohol situation but I didn't mind it because I knew they were joking and having friendly banter. However, for some reason, this guy seems to hate me, and continuously jokes about the alcohol situation. He also asks why my social media accounts are weird, even though all I do is repost memes and facts from other accounts. He can't judge anyone's social media for being weird, when he takes selfies that make him look like a duck who experienced a bad car crash. He could be judging certain posts though since every 100 posts is a pic of my eye, but even so, he can't mock me for it because my eyes are brighter than his future. Now I'm quite a shy guy, and I'm not interested in having a conversation with people when I'm trying to focus on my work, but he thinks I'm ignoring him and being rude. All this week he's been asking me "What did you get for Christmas?" and I've ignored him because 1) I don't want to talk to people who I can't tolerate and 2) It's none of his business.
I'd rather focus on getting good grades than telling this guy my Christmas presents but he can't seem to take the hint. He's got a very shrieky voice as well, and I don't understand how anyone could be friends with him, and be able to put up with a) his voice and b) his overall attitude. He was temporarily excluded for 2 days a while back, but personally I think he should have been expelled. What can I do to avoid this guy talking to me and mocking me?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories?
There are more and more people, even older adults in this world that are having issues with how to interact socially with others. I now have3 different people in my life, one family member married into the family who all have Asperger's syndrome. This means the person can not take a hint that anyone does not want to talk to them, not the body language, not the actual words to stop and will go on and on. They most of times do not address you by name to get your attention but just start talking and assume you can hear them. I have had that happen constantly when I'm out in public. Theres a few people who seem to target my husband and I, I guess we send out good energy and they are attracted to it but we can't stand them at all. The only thing is we have no reason to get them expelled from Starbucks lets say, but if talking in a library and bugging us while we try to read or use internet is a situation in which we can ask a librarian to talk to them. Your situation is one where you can ask for help because you need to be able to focus and do work in class and any class he bugs you in, that teacher needs to know. Tell the teacher what you told us. HE/SHE can ask the guy to stop talking and distracting you or she could change seating. Most teens hate to complain and think it will cause more problems down the road. I can tell you that people with Aspergers or any other social disorder are not going to give up or get better. They need to learn about their disorder and learn how to work around it and what not to do and how to converse properly. So really, there's nothing you can say to make him stop. But teachers knowing and if they see a pattern, can make a school nurse or counselor aware of the issues and maybe at some point, some school official would call the parents and suggest that the boy get in to see a Dr. for evaluation. If he does have Aspergers, his life will go much easier in the future if he is given info on it, etc...the whole deal. He may not have it and there could be other issues, extremely low self confidence or other issues that if discovered can be then addressed. So as annoying as he is, saying nothing to someone else, is not going to help. If you find the guy continues to bug you when you've told each teacher where its a problem, then tell your parents that you've reported it to school officials and they have done nothing. They can ask to bring this issue to the principal at a meeting. You are sent to school to learn. There is no requirement to be best friends or on friendly terms with anyone in the school. If you make friends at school, that is only a side benefit.
So you are not required to be friends, only to treat him civilly, the same as you would any other person you come across during your lifetime where you are not drawn to them as wanting for friend. I know what you mean about the voice thing. There are people I can not stand beyond a certain amount to hear them speak because it is very irritating to me. I have one sibling like that, not that they have a weird natural sounding voice, but all their life, have spoken in a singsong voice as if talking to a young child, or how one might overcompensate when talking to a person with hearing difficulties, like louder and slowly as if I was too dumb to take it all in if spoken any other way. So although I love my sibling, at the same time, I can only take them in small bits and luckily they don't live near me. It's your choice to not want to talk to him even if this was the only reason. In hallways between classes, you'll find to find alternate ways to navigate without running in to him. If he persists on running up to you and talking a mile and minute, all you can do is say something like Hi Mike, or whatever his name is. Acknowledge him first. But then without any irritation or anger in your heart, you will need to make a request of him. I have the feeling you are not mean or hateful to people and therefore did not know of a way to say something to him or perhaps have tried and didn't get through to him. I have learned that if I have anger hiding in my heart when I talk to someone, it doesnt matter, a person won't hear my words, just pick up on the vibes. When you only feel irritated but not angry, let him know that he's just not the personality type or character that you seek for friends or even just conversation. SOmetimes I stretch the truth to get a point across. So its best to say something about how talking to you distracts you in class, even a sentence or two. And here is where you might say "I lose my concentration easily and when distracted, find it too hard to get my focus back on the teacher or the lesson. So you'd be a great help as a classmate if you would not talk to me in class anymore." The truth is you are distracted but adding in that you have a problems and get distracted easily may be the stretch of truth but it helps when trying to point out a negative like "you aren't the kind of person I make friends with' by adding a positive one like 'I need your help . . ." Usually I can diffuse any real negative reaction from people when I need to point out something that is kinda touchy and therefore difficult to say to someone. If he's not picking up on strong feelings of anger, then he will hear the words. Maybe he'll need a reminder but after that, he should remember and comply.
]
More Questions: |