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Is he manipulating my close friend?
So, a friend of mine asked me for advice. She got into an argument with her boyfriend recently. She's currently seeing family over Christmas - his family don't celebrate it . He sends her a WhatsApp message telling her he's going to Manchester with a friend, that he's being picked up in her car , that's he's almost there and he hasn't brought his phone charger with him , and he'll speak to her Friday night. She then receives a Snapchat message from him with a message telling her he's actually going into the city (where they both are staying for uni) doing errands . Then he turns his phone off. An hour later he puts his phone back on , but his whatsapp says he's online he's just muting her messages.
She then get's angry, swears at him. He then sends her a snapchat message saying that he's heartbroken, he'll see her around, and that he's deleting social media. Now both me and her sister thought he had ended it with her. Her sister messages asking for clarification about this and he tells her he's fine, but he thinks her sisters ill because of the way she's reacting. She wasn't ill or anything. She's also spoken to his best friend about this too on the advice off her sister.
He then tells her sister that it's cause he was sensitive to her swearing at him. His family used to do it a lot at him, and he has never sworn at her. Her sister tells him to have a chat with her. Whilst her sister is next to her , she gets a message on her snap saying "drama drama, and that trust is broken " cause she was speaking to her sister and his best friend. (What is she supposed to do she genuinely thought he had ended it with her)
Fast forward to the day she goes to see more family, he tells her he's going to manchester with a load of laughing emojis, after she asked him what are his plans.
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So your friend asks you for advice and did you give any? Are you thinking that passing this on third-hand was going to help? I know what happens when any words and messages are passed on, things get misinterpreted, wrong messages shared, etc and in the end, as in the game "Telephone" we played as kids at parties, the ending phrase does not resemble the beginning phrase that was passed on by whispers into the ear of the next person in line.
You may have photo graphic memory and what she told you is exact, word for word. However, unless you saw the screen and what he texted or said to her, if she used any words to describe what he said/texted, that were paraphrased, not his own words, theres a possibility for a different meaning. I have a better idea, have her get on advicenators and ask her question and share exact words spoken or letting us know if its as close as she can remember. People who have written in here a 2nd time adding just one phrase to their question, has totally changed the situation and therefore the answer I gave previously was now invalid because the meaning has totally changed. It could be the same here dear. I think its wonderful that you care so much for your friend. But if you want her to get the best advice and she is still wants it, then refer to advicenators. If she isn't interested in creating her own account, then do as others have and let a friend use their account and when writing in, explain that they are a friend invited to use the account to write in a question.
Based on what I did read, the only thing that seemed obvious was him ignoring her attempts to get through to him when she could see he was online. Theres two sides to every story. So if he forgot his cord, he was likely deciding that since he had to watch his energy carefully since he can't recharge, apparently, what he thought of as the most important things to do with what energy left on his phone didn't match what she expected as the most important thing to her, that he respond and answer her. It really depends on what he was actually doing with his phone. If he was on the same app as her and didn't answer, but he was taking time to chat with others on there (how would she know he was or whether his friend was using his phone and app, which would be odd) sometimes those odd things that most likely can't be, end up being the explanation.
I will also say based only on the words that he didn't answer her when they were on the same app, that the two have different ways of showing how important the other person is to them. Meaning, that she may not be very high on his list of priorities in life. If a guy is dating a girl or calls her gf, that doesn't mean he is emotionally invested in the relationship. Theres more to it. This one thing alone is a red flag that he may not be as into her and she is into him. But again, I can't be certain. Let her read all this and decide if she wants to post her situation with as much detail as she can. Go to the library and use a computer to send it. I know most people try using an iphone to do this and it gets quite tedious typing long messages but its not as bad on a laptop or other computer. The more we are told, the better chances at helpful answers you'll get.
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