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Insecurities
So im so nervous to have sex because of my insecurities. What should i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
I think when it comes to having sex, you have to feel completely safe. If it's less than that, even because of personal insecurities and not what the other person is doing, then that's a sign you may need to work on yourself first. Get to know you: your interests, favorite activities, other things that make you feel happy and make you feel like you. One shouldn't feel like they ever have to have sex, even if it seems like it could be a positive and helpful thing, there is no time-frame for when a person should be ready. When you're ready, you will feel calm and steady, and safe, and like you're not losing or sacrificing anything in the process.
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As already shared, depending on the age, you may not be ready yet. Sex should be an outpouring of the love you have for someone. When young, the hormones raging make us feel like we have to have sex with someone. You don't. Try masturbating if you are young or not ready to give yourself to someone. Just because a person looks sexually attractive to you does not mean it is going to be a good experience. I was once at a discussion where every adult in the circle told of their first time having sex, maybe with the exception of one person being in love with the person they first had sex with, all were not in love, and they ALL said it was not a good experience at all, certainly not memorable except for how bad it went. A person had to be ready whether they are 18 28, 38 or whatever.
We can't really try to help til you give details on what the insecurites are. This site is anonymous, and we won't know who you are. We don't need details to get a kick out of it and make fun of you. If you would put your age, sex and if the insecurities are due to past experiences, trauma, disabilities, or just your thoughts and feelings, only then can we attempt to steer you toward possible answers Right now, what you should do as you asked, is write again with a detailed explanation, even if you hate to type.
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It would be easier to answer your question if we knew your age and a little about your insecurities.
In general insecurities can be seen as a warning system. They are saying wait, we are to young or we really don't want to give our virginity to this person. Something along those lines.
Insecurities are also a warning that this is the wrong time and place to have sex. Guys can have sex anywhere it usually doesn't bother them just as long as their penis gets into a vagina and ejaculates. Gals on the other hand are more complicated. Back in the dark ages of your grandparents many gals lost their virginity in the back seat of the guys father's Chevy. Today a gal wants comfort and security. Security from being discovered or interrupted.
As I said without more information it is hard to give you a full answer to your question or they may be in reality just warning bells that the time is not right which it may be. When the time is right, the partner is right and the place is comfortable and secure your insecurities will most likely vanish.
NOTE: If you are a young teenager don't rush it. Sex is a beautiful thing between two lovers. Make sure he actually loves you and is not say something to the effect, "If you love me you will have sex with me." If he is he does not love you, he lusts for you; a big difference.
I'm not saying wait until you get married. I'm saying wait until you are older and can tell if he really loves you or just want to put another notch on his bed post.
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