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How to be a good single mother
I'm gonna try to make this really quick. I'd like advice on how to be a good single mother. I don't know if anyone can really help me out with that much or not, but I'd greatly appreciate any help I can get at all.
Long story short, I'm a single mom and I feel very guilty about it quite often. I've started to see a lot of reasons it's important for my kids, especially my boys to have a dad, but they currently don't have one in their lives at all and I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm not sure I want to get married and even if I did, there's no telling how long it'd take to find the right guy.
My step dad has been an amazing a male role model/father figure to the kids. My uncles have helped a lot in those ways too, but it doesn't really assuage my guilt much.
I'm scared. I don't want to screw up my kids lives at all as they are so very precious to me. Does anyone have advice? BTW, I don't want this to sound rude, but please don't have your only advice be to get married. I want advice that will help me until I get married if I ever do. Thank you in advance for any help and God Bless.
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
The one thing I can suggest is you look and see if there is a group called "Big Brother/Big Sister in your area. If there is I would enroll you children with this organization as it is designed specifically fro children missing a parent. Your boys will benefit with this group in many ways as will your girls. You enroll your girls so as they not feel left out even though you are there for them as a role model. The big brother and big sister dedicate one day a week to be with your child and to do things with them that you may not have the time to do.
You should also call the YMCA and see what summer programs they have that your kids might enjoy. These programs are usually low cost or no cost to you. The YMCA may also run after school programs you should check into. Your local parks and Recreation Department may be running summer youth programs. These programs are also low cost programs to residents.
The benefit of these programs is it gets the kids out of the house away from the electronic games and into the fresh air. This is where they can learn a very important social skill as to how to interact with their peers,
Now for you. These are your kids and you seem to be a good parent. You are looking out for them and you care for them. Two very basic qualities of a good parent. It doesn't matter how you came to have these children if you were married or not. You had choices if you were not married you could have aborted the pregnancies or given them up for adoption when they were born; you did neither you chose to keep them and raise them.
From what I can see you have no reason to feel guilty. You are a caring parent. As long as your children are Healthy, well fed, clean and have a clean home you have done what is required of any parent single or wedded. BUT if you continue to carry this guilt with you it will eventually cause harm to your kids.
You need to speak with someone and unburden this guilt. I suggest you speak with a psychologist, You can speak to him or her, whoever you chose openly and freely in a manner you would never speak to someone who knows you. Safe in the knowledge that anything you say is totally confidential and never leaves the room you say it in. The psychologist becomes your new best friend you can tell your deepest. In therapy you will get to the root cause of your guilt and with the therapists help find a better way to deal with it. secrets to.
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