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My nephews dad sent him a friend request on facebook!
My mom has full custody of my nephew and has been raising him since he was 3 he is 13 now. My mom has been raising him because my sister and his dad were both found unfit. His dad hasn't had any involvement in his life since he was born, but the other day he sent him a friend request on facebook. He told my nephew to call him. My nephew asked his grandma if he could call him? She said yes and dad said he was coming to see him. He hasn't bought anything for Christmas or birthdays or even called. I remember last year on his birthday his dad walked by the house and my nephew was outside and his dad didn't say a word to his son. Should we allow visitation?
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
There may be more to this story then you know or could be telling; such as why his parents were found to be unfit. Your mother has legal custody of your nephew and knows why he was taken from his parents and given to her to raise. To that end you need to trust your mother and her instincts as to whether or not to allow this visit. I am going to suggest it be a supervised visit with her or another family member in attendance.
Next there is your nephew himself that has to be taken into consideration. At 13 I'm sure he has many questions concerning why he was taken from them, why he has not heard from his dad in ten years and many other questions. This is another reason an adult family member should be in attendance during this meeting so he has someone to support him while he asks these. It is also important to get a medical history from his father. Your nephew needs this to be put into his medical records for doctors to have a complete family medical history. He should have his mothers medical history as well most of which your mother can supply.
If I were you I would talk with him and ask him why he has agreed to meet with his dad. If he says anything in the way of he feels obligated to. Then I would tell him he is under no such obligation. If he doesn't want to see his dad no one will force him too.
In short to allow the meeting is solely up to your mom and your nephew. Just make sure your nephews reason is a sound reason and not a feeling of obligation .
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Don't judge this man so fast. For all you know there may not have been a single day that went by where he has not thought of or longed for him. It is a judge that kept him away and found him unable to parent. Maybe he has put his life back together and wants to be involved. Perhaps you mom has pushed him away and blocked him all this time. Maybe the Facebook request was a last effort to reach out.
I think your nephew should be told the reasons his father and mother were not in his life and allow him to decide if he wants to know his father or have contact outside of writing him right now or if at all. If he wants to see him in a controlled setting at first seems fine unless there is legal reason they shouldn't.
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