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i dont know what i did wrong?
Long story short before my first year of university. My school had a facebook page for class of 2020 to get to know each other, especially since my school is a commuter school its hard to make friends since its the school most people just go for class and then leave as soon as class is done. Unless you are eligible to live on residence (i didnt bother to apply cause the school is just a 40 minute drive) anyways i met two girls on there and we started talking about how we cant wait to see each other and be the three amigas or whatever. So i met Stephanie first on facebook so we literally talked online every single day. So first week of september comes we'll call this girl Rachel. Rachel lives on residence so she automatically got to have the same orientation week as me, while stephanie is a commuter and since shes on a sports team she couldnt go to the orientation week because she had a sports orientation. Anyways i met Rachel at the orientation but it was on the 3rd day of the week so we already had our friend groups so when we met it was literally just a hi and bye and i caught her checking my outfit out as if she was trying to judge how i dress. So fastforward to school starting stephanie and Rachel are in the same program so they have multiple classes with eachother while i didnt have any classes with them. So one day i finally met stephanie,after that day she stopped messaging me on facebook and her excuses would be "im so busy with school" blah blah of course i believed her, then on snapchat id see that stephanie and Rachel would hangout at rachel's residence or go to basketball games and they never invite me. So i messaged Stephanie a "thanks for the invite guys" with a laughing emoji and stephanie said "it wasnt even planned it just happened" but even if it wasnt planned they couldve said we're hanging out you could swing by if you want. After that incident stephanie never posted on snapchat again, so i thought. I have rachel on snapchat and she shows more than stephanie, everytime rachel records stephanie, stephanie would be recording her indicating that shes making a story too. So basically what im trying to say is stephanie blocked me from seeing her stories. Then to add to that stephanie used to watch my snapchat stories all the time and then all of a sudden she stopped. So then i stopped messaging both of them online to see if they would ever message me and to this day they dont even check to see how im doing. I used to see stephanie around campus all the time and she would pretend that she wouldnt see me. I rarely see rachel but when i do she says hi because we dont see each other anyways. So what did i do wrong? Its been like 3 months since i talked to them and surprise surprise stephanie now posts everyday on snapchat (she unblocked me) and she watches my stories every now and then. Im afraid if i message her she'll reblock me. I dont know what i did wrong when i met stephanie i thought we were gonna be good friends but after that day she cut me off. Rachel and i never talked everyday like stephanie and i did thats whu rachel isnt mentioned as much in this post. One thing about my personality is that most people say im awkward (i have social anxiety) but i wasnt anxious or anything i was talking to her as i would my old friends. We' re all 18 years old. Do you think i should just leave them alone and find new friends ( which has been hard tbh) i might as well because rachel and stephanie are now best friends or whatever and im still at the small talk stage with them.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I do not think you did anything wrong dear. I know it is disconcerting to have this happen to you. I can only say that from experience, and I'll share two, that there is some invisible something that people pick up on when they are together in person. On line, we can like how a person thinks and communicates and even pick up on things like their type of humor, etc. But it can sometimes be another story once you meet face to face. My first example is of HS. I was a SR. My sister was a soph and her friend was a jr. so inbetween our ages. I only knew the gal as the one white gal who danced in a black dance team at many school assemblies. Never met her and she'd never been to our house except this one time. She'd only heard about me through my sister. So I discovered her in the backyard with my sister and I greeted her. I didn't stay and went off to my room. After the gal left, my sister came and told me that her friend said she Hated me. Mind you this wasn't an 'I don't like you" but I hate you deal. I had never done anything to her. First time meeting in person and she did not like me at all. I knew I hadn't done anything to deserve that comment so I shrugged it off and never thought about it twice..
NOw I skip ahead to being close to age 50, divorced and on a dating site. I screened guys closely on line. Only met at coffeehouses or restaurant with those who seemed real promising. From what we'd discussed on line, I really liked this guy I'll call Alan. He liked me too. Then we met at the restaurant and even before we were seated, both of us knew from whatever it is we picked up on, maybe a persons personal energy field, vibes. ??? that we were not even a close match to being really happy with each other. We were both searching for someone we could fall in love with and had many things in common. The things in common were there but as we were waiting for our meals and talking, at one point I just braved it and said what I was feeling. "This isn't going to work for us, is it?" were my words. He nodded and said, even though you are a nice person, you're right, I'm just not feeling it, not feeling that kind of connection we need to even be friends or more." We enjoyed our visit but did not meet again. One example was a teen with wild emotional state and one was a person who was very mature and nice but just didn't feel what was needed to have that 'crucial connection' that two people need to become friends, best friends, or dating or married partner. Don't worry about them, and just be glad they have each other. Now its time for you to find someone else since you can skip the internet and go for meeting people in person. If you are looking for this feeling of connecting with another person, whether male or female, you will know it when you feel it. Don't be too desperate in finding a friend cus if that's what you carry with you then people may sense that desperation just as people sense a connection, and may shy away from you. Good luck in finding a couple of good and true friends.
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