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Is it wrong to fall for a guy when he's taken?
My mate said, he missed me, after seeing me in a week time at college (he's never said that before). I fancy him so I was glad that he missed me. I didn't say anything instead I said, oh did you, bless you. He just smiled and touched my shoulder smoothly as always but not in a pervert way. He called me baby once as he'd never used that word before and smiled afterwards. We had Wendy's together the other day and he insisted to pay, didn't even let me pay. Sadly, he's engaged and I have a bf. He says he sees as his own family. I can't even dare to question him even though he's my good friend. I might be thinking ahead, I got no clue but what's his behaviour telling you, experts? Appreciate the answers
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Falling for this guy would be a very bad move.
You have a boyfriend and you would need to end that relationship before doing anything with the new guy.
He has a fiance. Unless you want to just be "the other woman" he would have to end that relationship.
He had not shown very strong signs of liking you romantically. every example you listed is something a friends might do.
It sounds like you have a crush and you are looking to much into things.
My advice, let those feeling go before they grow out of control and make you do something foolish.
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Its hard to know his mind and if it means anything. As long as he is alive, he always has the opportunity to break off engagement or if married to divorce IF he was really into someone else and knew they returned the feelings. Since the both of you have only been good friends all this time, he may be acting as he would with any female he is with, a sister, aunt, female cousin, and pay for their meal. People have forgotten what good manners are and with a guy in such situations, its more because its good manners, being courteous and considerate to any female that comes across his path. You are sad that he is engaged. But are you sad with your boyfriend? A heart can sometimes like two people equally well, but if all involved are monogamous people, then they will only be comfortable choosing one eventually.
A problem for friends who are both sexes and one or both fall for each other, is that neither will share how they feel with the other because of the fear that once knowing this, the other will feel awkward, the relationship is now strained because the other doesnt feel the same way and often friends like this will part.
A friend can say they missed you and it not mean anything more than just that. If a female friend told you that, you wouldn't be assuming she was bi and hitting on you, right? Or perhaps the younger people of today are extremely afraid of the wrong person hitting on them or they assume that kindness means someone is hitting on you. It really isn't all that complicated, or shouldn't be.
I always tell male -female friends that if one wants to know how the other feels about you, instead of blurting out your feelings and scaring them off, the best thing is to say, "We get along so well as friends, that it makes me wonder how we'd get along if we were 'more than friends'. What do you think? Do you want to give it a try?" Remember that for next time. At this point he is engaged to be married. You have a boyfriend. If he was single, or you were, it could be a different story. Lets say you have decided the current boyfriend is not the one you want to be long term or life long with. But he is engaged. Until he is married, it is not too late. There's always a chance that he found the perfect marriage partner or that they are a mismatch and shouldn't be getting married. You can't tell him that. This is why some brides get left at the alter and the guy has cold feet, meaning he has never really been in touch with how he felt or honest with himself and he just is not sure. I've been around long enough to know that if two people have fallen in love with each other, they are Very Sure. Its those who love something about the other but are not in love with each other whose partnership may not last. I don't know that about him. But as long as you are torn between him and currant boyfriend, I feel it would be wrong to ask him if he ever wondered once upon a time about having a relationship with you. If you asked him while in a relationship yourself, he wouldn't think you were all that serious or perhaps didn't know what you want. Knowing what you want is one thing and easier, Finding what you want can take much longer and is much harder.
Lastly, seeing you as family usually means like a sibling, aunt uncle, parent, the usual family members. A man who really likes a girl and wants to be in a dating relationship or more, would not say, you are like family, he'd say I would like it if you would be my girlfriend. Guys are more to the point and don't play the brain games that females do. Overthinking and seeing more into something that really isn't there are traits of females. Until you have heard real proof from his lips, you know nothing. and the only way to find out is to ask him things. You could ask if he loves her. Does he feel she is his soul mate? As his friend you are concerned with his happiness. So is she simply good enough to settle for or does he feel like he is giving up on some of his dreams and wishes to be with her. If he reassures you that she is everything he's ever wanted, or some such thing, then congratulate him and leave it be. If he has any hesitations or concerns, then perhaps you might say that you had always wondered how the two of you would do as a couple since you get along so well as friends. That is not an odd question as the two most important foundations to a relationship is being each others best friend and also being each others sexual equal (meaning same libido which is how often or how little a person wants sex, and both being adventurous, wanting to try the same things, or enjoying same fetishes, plus most of all, having similar pheremones so ones partner arouses you, is never disgusting to you sexually, etc. So starting at friendship is a good place to start but you need to be careful that you don't cause him to drop someone who is perfect for him, no matter how you feel.
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