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What can I do?
Hey guys!
I need some serious help. This is kind of hard to explain but I will do my best. So there is a guy that I used to like but now has a gf. Lets just call him Smile for now. I do not like him anymore but because of a friend of mine, he still think that I still like him. He knew that I liked him by the way. So this friend of mine keeps asking Smiles for them to hang out but he doesnt want to and he thinks that I am the one telling her to ask him if they can hang out in attempt for me to be in their "hang out", if they do, so that I can get close to him(Smiles). Smile's girlfriend knows me some how and Smiles tells her everything and how he thinks that I am trying to get close to him and that has caused his girlfriend to hate me. I am a person that does not like conflict or drama and I want to let smile know that what ever my friends talks to him about or what she asks him, I dont have anything to do with it. I have told my friend to stop doing whatever that is causing smile to think the way that he thinks but she has refused. This is what I was planning to call and talk to smile about. Since we used to talk, I will call him and ask him how he has been and whatever and then say something like this...." I know that most of the things my friend talks to you about and asks you for makes you think that it has to do with me or I told her to ask you but it is not true. what ever she asks you is coming from her and not me." What else should I say or add? Please help. If this is too confusing please let me know a better way to contact you so that you get more details.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I agree that saying what you have planned is good enough. Depending on anything he might say or ask, you may have to say more. Just stick with the truth.
I do have one concern though. I do not know if your girlfriend is asking Smiles to be able to hang out with him. What I wondered if that is asking for only herself, or to invite along a handful of friends and if she is even considering asking you to come along if he says yes. She can do what ever she wants if it is only for herself that she is asking but something is wrong with her if she can't plainly see he already has a girlfriend and is not looking for another and may no longer want to be part of a hang out group so he can focus just on her for now.
If it is truly as you say and you have moved on from having an interest in him, then seeing him with the other gal shouldn't be a problem for you. But just in case your friend is trying to play match maker in a round about way and get you into his presence, you need to think about whether you can handle it, if Smiles agrees to letting others hang with him while he still has this other girl. As you mentioned, she sounded jealous. Jealousy is a fear of losing something. So the other girl doesn't feel sure about being able to keep his interest and his devotion. So just because of that, I wouldn't want to be hanging out, even if invited finally. Wish you the best and I hope it all turns out okay for you.
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First, I'm sorry that you deal with that because of a friend. She might be doing it because it is a joke to her, but it's not fair that you've told her it is causing an issue and she continues to do it. It would be hard for you to reach out to Smile and his girlfriend now because of this, but I think what you were planning to say is pretty perfect. You can even make them stop and think by asking them if they have personally seen you exhibiting these actions to prove that it's only your friend stirring up trouble. Please keep me updated!
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