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I feel angry at my friend
I'm nearly 14. So I used to have this small group of friends, I'll name them L, R, T and O. So we are very good friends and very closely knitted. However me and O just joint the group, and I know we are way too old for this, but T and R are fighting over L, L is pretty and popular. In an occasion, L met up with H, who is also very popular, then L pretty much hangs out with her now and replaced her with all of us, they are like BFF's now, this also brought us into H's huge group, where she is the leader. T is extremely clingy, and she still haven't given up on L, but develops a liking for H, though L and H don't like T very much, they are extremely nice to her, and me, R and O are quite stressed as we are mad that T did all these ignorant things to us, for example T would sit next to H is the soccer match instead of R( they are all in the same team), and after school, T would follow H around and ignore me, and she doesn't talk to O that much. But it's very unfair as us three has always been so kind to her, like once she spilt food on her skirt L and H ignored her but me and O washed it off for her, and in IT R always helps her and she NEVER says thank you. It's not much of a big deal but I feel that it's so unfair.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
The deal is that you all are around 14 yr old give and take a year or so. I remember being a teen and how grown up we felt. Reality is, you all are just beginning to go through a social learning curve where what you knew and know right now is still basic or from childhood, and the process is to learn to handle things like the adult you will soon be considered at 18.
I know how lonely it can be to not have any friends to hang out with but if the so called friends lets say are at a different social level than you, like far behind, you may want to search to form a group of friends of those who are more like you, more willing to learn and grow and not keep doing the same old mistakes over and over. This might be one way to change things so you're happy.
Another thing would be to challenge yourself to not take things personally. I say that because in the adult world, I still run into adults often enough who never grew up or who are users, abusers, the world revolves around them, with no manners or social graces. For the most part, you can try to eliminate how many of these kinds of people are in your life if its stressing you. Choose your friends wisely, and later when an adult, find those who truly appreciate you. YOu will need to learn how to find good quality friends and be able to recognize a person as being such because this will also help you in the long run with determining if a guy is a good choice for a boyfriend and later on as a mate.
ONe more thing about your age group, I assume this group is all girls as you used 'she and her' in explaining. Teen girls still have effects of the hormones of puberty long after their bodies have begun to change into their adult form. The hormones do a whammy on your emotions. No female can escape this. I went thru it and so did all my daughters. What happens is an emotional roller-coaster ride where girls become either extremely sad and weepy all the time or she is very easily irritated or angered. Her frustrations then are almost always dumped on the nearest dearest females in their lives, like Mom, sisters, friends, maybe even female teachers, picking fights or some such thing. It may be a combo of the hormones and your ages. Don't worry, it happens to pretty much most teens that they have troubles with friends but by time you graduate, the other teens will also have matured more. Changes for the better don't stop there. Keep in mind that from HS thru end of college there is even more major changes of maturing that occur.
Hang in there girl.
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