|
Do i break up with him or stay? :/
So here's the deal..
My boyfriend of 7 months is one of the most caring and most loving guys i've met. He's thoughtful, constantly complimenting me and has told me that he loves me and im his dream girl. I feel completely comfortable around him, however we are long distance so we dont get to see eachother often. I had also recently had a long hospital stay and had to have a serious operation, he stuck by me through this. However.. i during this situation was trying to distance myself from him.. don't ask me why.. i dont know. This really upset him and worried him and i felt really guilty, but it was from this point that i found myself losing feelings. He would message/call me all the time to check on me. After being discharged, a month passes and we meet. Everything is fine in person and i was being very affectionate.. however a few days pass and i find myself replying later and later to him and those feelings were slipping away again.
Long story short, i feel like a shit human being because im being like this and giving him mixed signals. Im contemplating breaking up but i jumping back and forth everytime i think of all the good things about him. He's the type of guy that every girl dreams of and here i am being so darn unappreciative. I just dont get it, im torn..
Help?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First things first, your health and having to have a major operation and lengthy hospital stay naturally turns a world let alone schedule to reply or see anyone alone upside down.
You can't be on top of relationships or anything aside from recovery. Most people get that and respect your space and want you to take time. During recovery from a large scale medical issue you can become depressed and lose albeit not permanently your normal interest in all activities you are passionate about or even in people and relationships.
People get it and there should be ZERO guilt on your part if a friendship, relationship is strained because of it. In terms of this guy you need to ask yourself what you really want out of a relationship, whether you are getting that here and if you are still interested. You may want to meet someone you can see all the time.
If you don't feel like even responding to him that's okay as long as you admit to yourself you want to move on and let him know this decisively.
Again, if you were in the hospital or recovering from heavy duty and or life altering stuff you owe nobody guilt let alone a reply that is prompt but you do need to figure out where you are going, priorities, interests, passions and if this guy you liked fits in to any of it.
I am sure you appreciated him and that he's a great person but he may not be your person for the next stage of life and that's okay and has nothing to do with gratitude. You need to talk to him about all of this. Nobody said it would be easy but you both need to figure out where things are going.
]
Hey!
What I would do is, I would talk to him about how you feel. If this keeps going on it'd be all one-sided, you'd be leading him on, and that just gets worse later in the future. Try taking a break from each other. I know it's probably going to hurt him, but it's better to come clean, than to lie in a relationship. But at the end it's about how you feel, and choices you make, not about the "advice" people feed you. Do whatever feels right for you.
Hope this helps
-Swimmer133
]
Long distance relationships are almost always difficult and it sounds like that is what you are being affected by.
I was in a long distance relationship for awhile due to the military and we loved each other however he was more affected by it than I was. While we had great chemistry when we were together... we were simply living separate lives while trying to also grow one together and it is just too hard sometimes.
Sometimes long distance works and sometimes it doesn't. Its understandable that you feel guilty but you're not a horrible person. You can't change the way you feel. If you want to try and make things work, look up ways to keep the spark alive! Pinterest always has great ideas. However, if you feel like you've gone as far as you can go with this person... that's okay too. He does seem like a great guy but... you cannot change the way you feel. Just remember that he does love you and whatever you choose, keep communication open and I'm sure he will respect you for that.
♥ Please rate.
]
More Questions: |