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I think I'm depressed
So I have reason to believe I am depressed because of random things I have said to people (different things to different people) that have led to them questioning me on my behaviour and like all the symptoms of depression....
That's not really a reason to believe I am depressed, it's more like what confirmed it for myself. I have been feeling off for months and in the past few months and weeks the feelings of something being wrong inside have intensified.
My problem is I don't know what to do about it. I know I should get help of some kind but I just don't know how to seek it.
I am 18, in my first year of university, and living on campus, but still in my hometown. I could talk to my mom about what is going on, but I really really hate talking about my feelings and my relationship with my mom, while wonderful, does not make it easy for me to talk about deep stuff with her. What makes it worse is that I am not living at home, so I don't have a lot of opportunities to just sit and talk to her even if that's the way our relationship was.(Talking to my dad would be 50 times worse and more difficult). I could go to my family doctor I suppose, but I am terrified of my family doctor, so I don't want to do that.
I just don't know what to do, but I know something needs to happen because at times it is really hard to function and do what I need to do...
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
If you're feeling depressed and cannot pin point what it is and nothing seems to bring you out of the "hole" you're in, you don't need to justify your reasons or answers to anyone.
A few years ago I was in the same situation you were in and I was ashamed. I asked myself "What do I have to be depressed about? I have a decent life, a good job, food, clothing and shelter, a husband, my cute dogs and I am content on living in Hawaii at the time... most people would kill to have this?" I buried myself in the fact that I didn't know how to seek help - I already tried non medical counseling and it helped for a short period of time but I didn't get too many tools out of it. I finally went to my doctor and was embarrassed. I had to be truthful about the answers. I thought this would get back to my job before anything else and I would be in trouble by my answers but it was the exact opposite.
I went to my appointment and told him exactly how I had been feeling. It probably made no sense but once I let my guard down, he definitely could tell via my posture, my tears and how I made no sense that something was off... he didn't ask me any questions or in depth to my depression. He kindly asked if I wanted to try out anti-depressants and I was hesitant at first but he recommended anti-depressants along with a referral to a psychologist. Two years later and I feel like I got a lot of great tools from seeing a psychologist consistently for about a year and I am still on anti-depressants and for the past 6 months I have been entertaining the idea of finally going back to my doctor to start the process of getting off of them.
My point is, it is nerve wrecking at the time and if you also have anxiety or know about it, the idea of seeking help also inflates that. But once you go, you'll realize it's extremely common and your doctor won't look at you like you're some weird creature from another planet. And soon enough you'll be on a path to learning how to cope and get your depression under control.
Seeing as how you're a student in college, most colleges have like a Health Center or a doctor that you can see. I am not sure of the process (I am in the military so from my doctor, I was immediately put on Lexapro, they told the psychologist and then the psych called me to set up our first appointment) but I am almost positive once you set up an appointment to see your doctor, the process will be fairly smooth.
If you cannot talk to your mom or you feel like she makes things worst for you, don't feel guilty or feel like you need to try. I couldn't talk to anyone about anything for a really long time except my psychologist. Your mom isn't a doctor (right?), and you're an adult therefore you have the right to keep this between you and your doctor.
Good luck and if you ever need anyone to talk to, just inbox me.
♥ Please rate.
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While I'm not a doctor or psychiatrist what I think you are feeling is what many freshman feel which can be classified as a form of depression.
Most colleges I am aware of have a health center on campus. Go to the health center and ask if the have a psychologist you can speak with. A psychologist is not a medical doctor rather they have a PHD in psychology and through talk therapy they can help you with what I believe is the root of your problem.
If there is not a psychologist on staff then ask to see the medical doctor. Explain to the medical doctor how you feel and ask to be referred to a psychologist off campus. You parents health insurance will cover most of the cost.
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