|
My mother is being unreasonable.
Hi. I am a 14 year old female. I have the Norplant Implant and I have got a boyfriend, who I have been with for 5 and a half months now. My mother says I am not allowed to meet my boyfriends family because she says she doesn't know if they will be in the house or not. She knows I want to have sex with my bf, but I have condoms and the implant. The implant is working, so why is she being unreasonable?! She has also said that if I get pregnant, then I am not allowed even the morning after pill. I am not allowed an abortion unless I am raped, but if I want an abortion, I want an abortion. It's my body. What should I do? My mother is staunch on what she has said, and I'm barely allowed to even see my boyfriend. I just want to do stuff, and I know we will be safe cos we are both virgins, I have the implant and we are gonna use condoms cos we are not dense. What should I do? I am from Europe.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abortion?
Hi, firstly it is illegal for you to have sex, so you shouldn't even be contemplating doing anything. My god you have only been a teenager two years!! You clearly aren't mature enough. Why do you even have an implant??
Abortion is NOT a contraception and I'm disgusted at how flippant you are about it.
You are a minor and until 18 you can't just do what you want. You need to mature as to be frank you sound bratty.
You need to close your legs and open your ears as you have so much to learn!!
]
I agree with the other two writers that you are way to young to be having sex. Let me ask you a question or two.
1. Is it you who wants to have sex or is your boyfriend saying to you something like, "If you love me you will have sex with me." If he is trying to get you to have sex with him as a way of proving your love for him. He does not love you as you may love him. He LUSTS for you and that is not love.
Sex should come as the result of your love not to prove your love for someone. Teenage boys want sex because puberty is making them want it. They are getting erections all the time because of hormones going wild and really has nothing to do with external excitement. What he really need is to release the sexual energy which he can easily do through masturbation or someone giving him a handjob. At your age this is what you could be doing for him if you wanted to and if you wanted you could let him finger you. No one has ever gotten pregnant from a handjob or fingering and it serves the same purpose.
2. How did you get the Norplant Implant. Which is a good contraceptive and you should still use condoms as besides protecting you from pregnancy they also protect from many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.
My advice is not to have sex with him. Offer him alternative release through a hand job but keep your clothes on. For if he is like most teenage boys he does not love you the way you love him. This I truly believe for I was once his age and I know from where I speak.
]
Babe you are 14, that is a really young age to loose your virginity.....You don't even have your license yet. I lost my virginity at 19. You are barely a teenager, your looking to have sex and your not even allowed to see an R rated movie. Sex is not everything in a relationship. If you loose your virginity now, trust me you will regret it. Your mother is just looking out for you. You are going to act on your own actions regardless. Is your boyfriend pressuring you to have sex? Why do you want to have sex? At 14 I don't even think I knew what sex was honestly.
]
Your mother is legally responsible for you until you are 18-years-old. You may not be able to understand it but she's been around a long time and knows that without a high school diploma, a well paying job, place to live and help from others that raising a child for 18 years is tough business.
At 14-years old you are in no way emotionally or physically ready to handle any of it. As far as an abortion goes few doctors would be willing to do that procedure on someone this young unless raped, in physical danger, child severely deformed etc. There is lasting physical and emotional problems and wounds that go with it and same with any pill.
Just because you have the implant it should not be taken as a licence to have protected or unprotected sex. There's more to it than the physical there's the emotional and being mentally and physically ready and able to handle pregnancy if it occurs. Your mom isn't stupid and knows you well that you would likely rush into it because of the implant without thinking.
It's not that she doesn't want you to have a boyfriend or know his family or see them. Mom just wants t be sure you are supervised and not engaging in activity you really aren't ready for and as your guardian has right to do. Also, this guy has only been around short term 5 months. Who is to say this will be long lasting or if he has sex with you now that he will be around later. I think you need to think about all of this before making any decision about sex because it's not a flippant thing.
]
More Questions: |