|
How to make friends in university?
I didn't really make that many friends in high school I mostly made acquaintances and friends that are only my friends because I saw them 5 days a week. No one texts my phone unless they need something and only two of my friends text me for an actual convo and try to attempt to hangout with me outside of school the other people don't. I try to text people first but they either read it or don't reply or stop replying in the middle of it. Anyways high school is over for me in less than 4 weeks and I couldn't be any more happier but now in September I will be going to university so you can already tell how big the school and my classes will be. Anyways I'm going to a commuting university so only the people who don't live close by live on residence and I feel like those who live on residence make friends easier than those who commute based on the stories I've heard from people who graduated from my school last year. This one guy went to a uni 4 hours away from where I live and made friends under a week of being there. This girl went to the uni I'm going to and it took her 3 months to at least make one new friend because since its commuting school people are just going to go to class and leave. Another girl went to a school that's just in downtown Toronto which is a commuting university for where we live and again it took her a couple months to make new friends, a girl who moved to a uni that's literally 30 mins away (idk why she wasted money to live on residence) made a bunch of new friends. I know it depends on the person too but I just noticed those who live on residence make friends easier cause you kind of have to socialize with your roommates and floor mates and then those roommates have friends etc. So my question is how can I make friends at a commuting university? And if you formed a romantic relationship as well in university/college did you meet the person in a class or school club or party? (I'm asking this because my parents really want me to get in a relationship because I didn't have one in high school at all)
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Saw your comments to my answer. This is the only way currently that further messages can be shared back to you, using where my previous answer was, erasing it and using update option to do so.
As I see it and I am sure many Psychologists, life coachs or others would agree, that low self esteem/low self confidence is the biggest detriment to making friends. I was once there and with big social anxiety and shyness too as a kid. Looking back, the only friends I had in school were the ones who sought me out first, not me meeting others first, so I only had a few friends but they were good friends. Last year of HS I was sick and tired of being that way and willing to do anything to become more self confident. Confidence and self esteem went hand in hand for me. So other than focusing and treating the 'fear of people and talking to people' I still needed to gain self confidence after. If you get this and have a fear of walking up to people you don't know and starting conversation, let me know and I can share what to do to break that issue. If it's more about not feeling good enough as a person that someone else would be interested in you, comparing yourself to others, then its more a lack of self confidence and I have a remedy for that too. Both work extremely quickly. You go at a pace you're comfortable with, so if you really apply yourself daily, then it could be a month or two before those issues are things of the past for you and you can easily meet people, make friends and keep them.
People do not tend to have interest in interacting with a person who is shy and lacks self confidence, because frankly it most times is boring, irritating and such. Heck, even I now tend to not choose to talk to people with the purpose to befriend them, if they are anything like I used to be. However, I am very willing to help people get beyond whatever is holding them back. So if interested, let me know and mention again you are the one going to Uni, wanting to make friends so I know who you are.
]
More Questions: |