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in need advice for my friend help!
My friend has a crush on this boy and I tell her he is bad news but she doesn't listen to me and I tell her that one day she will find her match but clearly right now he isn't her match he found out when these dum boys told him and she got pissed and left crying later on her crush started dating this girl {whom is not in good condition blahhhh} and he is only dating her because he doesn't like my friend { I suppose } and then one day after he broke up with the girl and my friend was happy and wanted to ask him out but I told her not to and my other friend told us that he is dating another girl and my friend got mad and told her that she is going to tell her
do you think that my friend is a good match for him or tht he likes her and is trying tomake jealous please hurryyyyy helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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I have to agree with the other poster here. YES she is your friend, you see what you think he is doing wrong and you want her to steer clear of it, and your a great friend for wanting those that for her. All you can really do is appeal to her logical side (if she has one at this point in her life) young people usually have no clue what their doing when it comes to dating and you can warning her, but like the other person said, you cant make her actually apply the advice. Shes young, running on her emotions, and when you put the two of those things together that can create an often unstable unsure person because they are living moment to moment by their emotions and not by logic.
I hope that your friend is smart enough to realize that.
Teens dont often KNOW what "love is" and often have to discover for themselves what its NOT, and its certainly not what this guy is doing, so obviously he doesnt care for her back in the same way so she should probably just leave now before she gets hurt. Either that or your going to just have to prey she has a thick enough skin to not let whatever hes doing get to her.
She might just be the kind of person that just jumps into things full speed ahead and invests herself emotionally. This will often lead to disappointment on her end because she put him up on a pedistole and worshipped him like a god when he cared for her little none.
the best way to not show that shes not jealous is to give no reaction what so ever. act like he doesnt exist, look away, walk away, and dont talk to him anymore. A lady knows when to make her exit and leave gracefully, and your friend should do the same.
As a teen one of my secrets to not only being popular, but having lots of guy friends was to just be nice!, let people know openly that you except them, find chances when people are near you that youve be told are popular to say hi, smile and crack a joke with them about something other then you or them so that they laugh too.
Get to KNOW lots of different types of guys, be FRIENDS with them first so you (or her) can guage what type of person they are and then think about weather you'd like them as just a friend or a possible future partner if they like you back. If they are chill, but arent your type then just keep them as friends, be there for them when they need someone to talk to and encourage them to reach for better things.
None of this stuff is that hard to do.
Let them know when they've crossed lines with you but explain it in a gentle way, and then continue to be nice and even ask them to go places with your and your friends (as a group of course and not alone) LATER! see? guys are simple and usually wont turn away at least just a friendship with a female they feel they can talk to about things and KNOW youll give them a realistic answer.
whatever you do in life, when communicating with others, LOGIC and kindness will usually get you further with everyone then overly emotional irrational approaches.
try to get your friend to see WHY things would be better if she did things your way, and let her know that you care for her no matter what but that there IS a big chance this guy could hurt her.....
good luck and hit me up if you need more advice ; )
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I know you must love your friend very much to be so concerned for her. Crushing, dating, relationships, is all an area that most of us learn about the do's and don'ts by experiencing them for ourself. Thats called the school of hard knocks cus you get knocked around a bit, hurt, dissapointed, worried, angry, etc.
Its one thing when it pertains to you, such as you 'asking' us for advice. It's another thing entirely when it comes to seeing someone who could surely benefit from some good advice and you're dying to give it to them so you do. Now imagine it was yourself and that everyone of your friends are giving you advice and saying you're going about something totally wrong. If you were not in the frame of mind to be ready for advice, most likely you would either resent the advice most humans operate. You can't advise until asked to. Heck I know how hard it is, I have 3 daughters who rarely ask for advice and I have to bite my tongue cus I know the answer. I even try the polite way of saying, "I have some idea's on the subject and how to solve your issues, would you like to hear them?" This might be a good thing for you to learn to do with your friends and peers. If they say no, then you must honor that, no matter how hard it will be to see them possibly make decisions that bring them heartache. The only time you go against a persons wishes is if they confide they plan to commit suicide or kill someone else, then you tell the proper adults. The saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water but you cant force him to drink" and that applies to people too. You may even get her to be quiet enough to listen to what you have to say but that doesnt guarantee she will see the light and that someone else just might be right or have a better idea, or heed a warning. Lots of the boys who look like bad news now may eventually mature and grow up to be a male who is an outstanding citizen, a wonderful bf/husband/father. When we are young and starting dating, we dont have previous experience, neither did I and I made mistakes too. Thats inevitable. If a person asks for advice from someone older and more mature than themselves, they are more likely to get the better advice. Relying on advice from ones peers when you're a teen is like the blind man asking another blind man to help him navigate an obstacle course. Not saying that there can be exceptions to ones peers. I have seen some superb advice from teen advice givers on here. But in general, the best thing you can remember is to still love your friend even if they don't listen, and if they later are hurt or crying, give comfort. You can't force a friend to use common sense and ask for advice before making any decisions, but that is the best way to go, no matter what age you get to be.
Keep in mind, during puberty and teen years, girls emotions are running high and often out of control so that doesnt help matters much and there isn't much you can do about that. Dating and going from person to person, breaking up often is what dating is kind-of about. The next person one dates should be a step better than the last, not settling for the same or less. This is the same for older adults. Its just that teens have no idea yet what they like, what they are looking for or who is best for them, and who they would make the best partner for. ITs a learning time so there will be many times one dates for a few days, weeks, maybe makes a month or two before breaking up and moving on to the next person. This does not necessarily make someone a bad person if done for the right reason and the break up in the right way. Dating is for discovering more about a person to decide if its someone you want to stay with long term. However teens don't tend to date for that reason yet instinct makes them break up and look for someone better. When they dont know why, they can tend to repeat their mistake in choosing someone. Thats why there are grown women who ask, why is it I tend to attract all the losers? They have no idea of the purpose of dating, and they are making choices to date these guys and haven't learned to look for clues for potential problems in the new guy from experience with the last ones. Most of us learn something eventually. I know This is NOt what you were looking for but this is reality and the reasons why.
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