|
my annoying friend
So I am a 12 year old female, i have small breasts in training bra, i also just started growing pubic hair, needing deodorant, didn't hit growth spurt or period, etc. Most my friends are the same, or even less developed, but I have this friend who is in a b-cup, has had several periods since she was 8. So she was born in Febuary, she is literally 5 months older than me, and she is 12, she acts like she's a teenager and older than everybody, and is superior. I mean, YOU ARE NOT TURNING 13 UNTIL NEXT YEAR! YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING GODESS! And if that couldn't be bad enough, she thinks her boobs give her some super power. Like I was talking to her and I commented on how much my stomach was cramping and my mom said she thinks I'll get my period this month, and then cracked a joke about it. So of course she had to give her 50ยข,"oh, but you're not going through puberty! Only IIIIMMMMM going through puberty." I mean, what the actual fuck. Every girl and boy goes through puberty at some point, you are not a special case because you got your tits in 1st grade (I'm literally not fucking joking, I can't remember a time she didn't have tits). She thinks she knows everything because she's "almost a teenager". Yeah, good for you. You dated guy, broke up with him, dated his friend, broke up with him, your first ex told you to date him again, you said no, he threatened to tell everybody she's ugly, so she dated him again for a few months, broke up with him, claiming she was " forced" i mean, anyone could see if you are ugly or not by looking at you, some freak doesn't have to tell them. Not to mention both of them were autistic fucks who fail every subject and got in serious trouble with the law several times, but nope she knows more because she's "a teenager" another thing, we were on each other's Spotify playlists, and I explained the genres i had (emo, screamo, alternative rock, punk, indie) and she moved away like I had the bubonic plague, and was all, "ohmygod...i listen to teen pop, because I'm like,a teenager and that's what teens listen to" and she is constantly bugging me on my choice of music, dress, etc... Also when she talks, she screams with her face in yours. And she ALWAYS brags about being good at gymnastics (never took any lessons, and the only thing she can do is a split) i remember in the 3rd grade me and another friend almost got rid of her when she made a club and kept making us do stuff in order to get in it, after test #192933722902928373738290000 we quit and made our own club, she threw a hissy fit saying clubs are stupid, cried, and went home and had her dad call my dad. She is a dumb fuck, how do i get her out of the group without murder?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I was the most popular one in my group in jr high and high school at the time ((over ten years ago lol) and if we wanted someone out of our circle of friends because they were acting like that, then since i was the strongest willed one, i would try to talk to them about it first, give them some time to change and if they didnt i would then get everyone to ignore that person if they approached us. If they walked up and tried to talk to us, we would immediately say nothing, get up and walk away together.
This worked well after i told this person, your attitude isnt cutting it and your going to lose all your friends by acting the way you are.
then i just had all her friends ignore her.
;)
we only did it for about a week before the brat gave in and either would change her ways or would go off and try to be with some other group of friends. tell the other girls not to except her calls, dont talk to her or share anything with her, and if she tries to talk to them to just walk off.
this kinda thing can really cut a person down because they dont understand why their being ignored so they start to doubt themselves and it forces them to look inward and ask "is it really ok for me to act like this? im losing everyone i was cool with"
you should see the change pretty quickly if she truely wants to be friends with you guys. if not she will move on and thats probably for the best.
not to be messed up but ive known girls like this before and they grew up to be street walkers, having boyfriends who were gangsters and in trouble with the law themselves, and it sounds like thats where shes headed anyway and you dont want to be around that. Youll get either pulled into it or theyll blame things only you that you didnt even do. Ive had brushes like that with people like this years ago and i was just lucky enough to get away.
]
Sounds like you associate enough with her for her to consider you her friend. She likely doesnt have any real true friends as no one likes being around someone who acts like that.
Why does she act that way? Most likely due to having a very low self esteem. Even adults can and will do the same thing, latching on to any pitiful poor excuse of information to use around others to boost their self image by bragging about. Or, if they can't find a good enough reason to boast about, they will make up totally false stuff about everyone else to put them down.
She doesnt feel important or valid or loved as a person and theres a possibility it might be connected to her family life. She may not have been mistreated, but just didn't get enough love and proper attention and quality time with her parents and other relatives. I remember the 'club' stage when I was around your age. I even started an acting club in my neighborhood when I was a teen, for the kids who were my youngest sisters age. i wrote the plays, loved doing costuming, and we put on lots of backyard plays where all the parents attended. I wasnt making a club to gain friends my age and feel better about myself. Her reaction to someone doing the same thing as she did is another clue she has some self image issues. Since she started puberty so much earlier, she may also not be in control of herself. Its a possibility that hormones being not in balance, mainly an overload, are responsible for her currant behavior. Lots of teen girls today suffer from it. They pick up the female synthetic version of hormones just from living in our environment and when puberty hits and the girls body starts to release its own hormones, they end up on overload. This will create major depression and self harming or suicidal tendencies, major anger problems or parent will notice a complete change in her personality. It doesnt necessarily hit the same time as boobs become visible or a period starts but can become an issue a year or two later as the levels of hormones build up to extreme amounts. This is a situation in which a doctor is needed to prescribe medication to equalize those levels. If this is the case, she should become a more pleasant person once on the medication.
I take the time to point this out as there may be a reason totally out of her control for her being like this. It will take a drs appt for her to get this figured out whether its the issue or she might be a good candidate for some counseling until she learns how to have a healthy self image again. Yes, teens often suffer easily from low self confidence and self esteem issues that eventually go away on their own as they grow up and mature. But that doesnt happen for all. You might mention my concerns of the medical issue thing to your parents and if they are close to her parents or know them and feel comfortable saying anything..... other than that, she's likely to continue this behavior for quite a long time...like years. If you think she's make a fine friend if not for these problems of hers, have a good private talk with her, let her know that you would like to remain friends but there are things she does that drive you away from her. I know she does it to everyone but its for the others to let her know what personally they do not like. You let her know that you think there might e reasons why she acts like she does and you need to know if she has problems at home. Are the parents too busy to pay any attention to her or perhaps they totally cave in and give her everything she wants, in which case she rules the house, not her parents, by the fact she was able to get her dad to call your dad over the issue of your making your own club in which she wasn't welcome. In this case, the problem again would be the parents. Let her know she doesnt have to be first, or better than anyone else or be the one in control or who rules over others to be liked. All she needs to be is nice and pleasant and treat others the way she'd like to be treated. SO if she tries saying nice things and complimenting you instead of cutting you down or boasting that she's better at whatever, then you might enjoy being around her. Let her know if you have a list of such concerns and also give her a list of what ways she could treat you that are acceptable as she seems to have no clue. Ask her if she is willing to work hard to change and if she messes up, to apologize and correct her ways. Let her know if shes willing to do this, you'd be more than happy to be friends, but right now as things are,her behavior is such that makes you wnat to get as far away from her as possible and that fact that she continues to come around you, behaving this way has you so upset that you're going crazy and you may do things to hurt her feelings real badly. You can say you feel worse things than that but i WOUldn't mention you feel like killing her in case something happens to her, maybe a boyfriend actually or whatever and someone hearing that or her telling others, makes you a suspect. Dont think that officials laugh it off as just silly teen stuff. there are teens in juvie hall and others convicted as adults. I know you likely aren't that serious but you are extremely frustrated. So have such a a talk with her. Just you and her and no one else around to hear. Keep trying this talk, everytime she comes around and says something you don't like. for example, the moment she critizes that you look totally flat in the style of your new shirt, or such other such cutting remark, bring it to her attention, "Hey, just to let you know, this is the kind of thing I was talking about that you need to stop doing to me. If you won't stop, then stay away from me. Eventually she should get the clue that she needs to change in order to be liked. If no improvement there, let the parents knows what you've said to her and the ultimatum you gave her and that she continues to approach and hang around you making you miserable and ask them to talk to her parents. If she starts bullying you, then you have a case to bring to attention of school officials and your parents need to know, hers too. Other than that, this is the best advice I can think of at the moment.
]
More Questions: |