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Zoloft
23/ F
I am going to start with I think I have always been depressed in some way my whole life. I never told anyone I was constantly feeling sad for no reason. I thought being sad was normal and that's what people should feel too. My depression goes in spurts...signs of me thinking I have depression is constantly telling myself I'm not worth living on this earth, that people are better off without me, I would pinch myself hit myself in the face things like that. I think I have aniexty also. these episodes I have of hurting myself affect more when I am working and put under stress. About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. I had never been so sad in my whole life. He said that things weren't the same and he said that he was feeling depressed and didn't want to be with me anymore. I thought my whole world was falling apart. Over the weekend 4th of July I felt so sad no one was around me my parents were gone my friends were all away I felt so depressed I wanted to take pills and die. I looked at my medicine cabinet and was going to take something and I scared myself, I called my older sister and told her how I was feeling. She was worried for me and spent the night with me. I went to my doctors yesterday and told her how I was feeling. She prescribed me on a low dosage of Zoloft. I only have taken 2 days first the side affects are awful. But I want to get better. I hessisted on telling my mom about my prescription we are really close but she doesn't understand. When I told her she kind of freaked out and told me nothing is wrong with me and I'm not depressed. Some of my friends tell me I'm not depressed and I just have a little aniexty . Is it normal for me to be on Zoloft? How long are people on it for. I feel like something is wrong with me because I am on medication. I wonder to myself if this is wrong and nothing is wrong with me. My mom told me my depression is temporary because of my breakup and thinks its redicilous to be on medication. My sister told me to ignore her thoughts because she thinks this is going to help me. I understand it takes a while to kick in but will the side affects go away? What will I feel after normal?
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Like you I have suffered with depression for the better part of my life. It took an auto accident before I finally sought help. From what you have written and the fact that your saw your doctor and she prescribed Zoloft for you, I would say you fit the medical definition of a person suffering from depression.
I am going to make several suggestion that I would like you to consider if you would like to find out what is the primary cause of your depression and correct the problem. Anxiety is only one cause of their is something causing the anxiety that needs to be found. What I suggest is as follows.
Will you feel normal? You will feel better which in our case is better than the normal we felt.
Take care and I hope you follow my advice for I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you follow my advice.
1. Seek out a Board Certified Psychiatrist, no you are not crazy. Depression, clinical depression which is the most common type is caused by the lack of one or more chemicals in the brain. While you PCP has made a diagnoses and prescribed a good drug, it may not be the best drug for you. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has had special training in a fellowship in psychiatry and is best qualified to treat you and prescribe medication. Primarily the psychiatrist will prescribe you medication. There are newer drugs with less side effect which you may tolerate better.
2. You will also need to have talk therapy with a psychologist. In therapy you will work to find the root cause of your depression. Once it is found you and the psychologist will work together to find a better way to handle it and lessen the anxiety it is causing you. The therapist is going to be your new best friend someone you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to. If you're not comfortable with your therapist therapy won't work. If you're not comfortable with your first therapist find another until you find one you are comfortable wit. I was luck my first therapist was one I could be comfortable with and we worked well together. Nothing said in therapy leaves therapy without your written permission.
As for your mother's feeling concerning you being depressed. You are 23 years old and adult. In this case your mother is wrong. She is probably of the belief that depression has a stigma attached to it. She is wrong. Statistically today 1 in 3 people suffer from some type of depression. As an adult you do not need your mother's permission to seek medical help and she cannot ask any doctor or be told of any medical information about you without your written consent as you have full medical confidentiality as an adult. This also means you do not have to tell her anything about what goes on in therapy.
As to your other questions. Will you get better? Yes, I did, how long it will take depends on how well you work with your therapist. Will the side effects go away? Talk to the psychiatrist about any side effect the medication give you. Normal ones would be a dry mouth and a lower sex drive.
As your body gets use to the medication, takes several weeks, your sex drive may come back but the dry mouth may stay. You carry a bottle of water with you, no big deal. When you go off the medication the side effects go away.
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Any time a person suffers the terrible side effects of any medication prescribed, even contraceptives, its time to tell the Dr. and get on a different medication. I just did that with my BP meds.
As for Mom, yes...its hard as a mother to be able to admit to oneself that your child is having problems. She's lying to herself because she is afraid, afraid of what she doesn't understand or know anything about. I as a Mom saw a daughter go thru post partum depression, but then she admitted she's felt depressed since her teen years. Now she is showing all the signs of having a mental illness as well. I love her just the same, no matter what she is suffering from. Mom is right in that there is such a thing as temporary depression due to a stressful or unexpected event in life. I've had that too. Me, I am in that state 3 days tops before I use my willpower to do the things that help me back out of it.
Some people don't have that choice of a recipe for overcoming depression because theirs, like my daughters, is clinical depression. Here's a link that describes it:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You need to understand clinical depression to know that it isn't your fault or something you do or fail to do that causes it, you were born this way, just like another person doesn't choose to be gay, they are born that way.
YOur doctor may have explained all this but I find they talk in terms that the common non medical person can't understand well or grasp.
So I am taking the time here to explain what you most likely do not yet know.
Here's what I know of the hows and why some people have clinical (major/severe/long term) depression.
It is when the levels of neural transmitters are too low (depressed levels) or non existant, that we call a person depressed.
So what are Neural-transmitters? They are a brain chemical like dopamine or serotonin, that a body is meant to create, by which a nerve cell communicates with another nerve cell.
For your use, I am putting in links to deficiency signs of those two particular NT's.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Nt's get used up by your brain to help you deal with the pressures and stresses of life, the hurts and disappointments. Once used up, a normal functioning brain creates it's own NT's again but needs help from the person, to give a little prod to the production of these NT's. There are certain things and actions that help release a new supply of these brain chemicals in you, like getting long hugs, laughing at comedy, exercise like dancing, running, singing helps as well as listening to ones most fav. uplifting melodies. For me, an example that helps boost my NT production is listening to Clocks by Coldplay. ITs different for each person. As stated, this works well is the parts of your brain that create these chemicals are in working order to begin with. If not, and born with non functioning parts in the brain to create these NT's, then a person is considered Clinically depressed and a man made version of those NT's must be taken as a prescribed medicine to supply the amounts you need. With man made meds, there is always the chances of side effects until a person trys a type that their body doesn't react to in a negative way.
Now you know its a condition you were born with and that taking man made replacements for what your own body can not and never will be able to create, is a very much needed step. You might ask your Dr. if there is a brochure that can explain clinical depression easily for you to pass on to Mom, or share with Mom my explanation of it if you want to gain her understanding and support. Your sister is wonderful to support you and yes, meds will help when you have the right ones, but it wouldn't hurt to do the things I mentioned for short term, temp. depression to work along with your meds.
As for the breakup with boyfriend, it depends on the persons condition as to how their body will handle it. If temp depression due to that event, a person can eventually in time get over it.
A person without meds for clinical depression will not be able to work thru the grief and heal, not until they are on meds, and then with time, eventually they get over it.
When your boyfriend said he was depressed, if the temp kind, and he has in 5 yrs time been able to handle you having depression ALL the time, then it isn't due to anything you did, just his own issues, a stress at work that came up or some such thing.
Perhaps he has clinical depression, has not gone to a doctor for it. A clinically depressed person is not going to be able to handle well a relationship with another depressed person, its like sharing a dark dreary dungeon cell with another person.
A normally upbeat person who doesnt suffer depression at all, can after an amount of time be finally worn down and tired to the point of being susceptible to temp depression themselves from dealing with a depressed partner day in and day out, 24/7, Especially if they are not on meds or the meds aren't working. I was married 30 yrs to a man who didn't get diagnosed until a couple years before I left him, with mental illness. That is something else that can wear down a partner either emotionally or physically. For me it was mostly physically.
All I can say is no matter why he left, you will better your odds for a healthier, stable relationship with the next guy if you get on meds where you are consistantly in better health as far as dealing with stress. I wish you the best.
I've never been on Zoloft, as I dont have depression but I do know its the number one favorite being prescribed today by Drs. That doesnt mean it is best for you. The original popular BP med I was put on had its side effects show up after a few months. I was told some people react badly to it, some don't, depends on the person's body.
Check with your Dr. They may want you to take it for longer than just a couple days to be sure. But if you can't handle it now and it isn't a delayed build up of reaction like I had with something else, I'd say its best to push for a change in meds.
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