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I'm being called a slut, for not even a good reason how do I make it stop ?
I'm going through the process of the consequences of having relationships in high school. I've had 3 boyfriends that didn't last for a long time 2 of these relationships were unknown. I never had sex with any of them or anything. And then I've had 3 other boyfriend over the next year and everyone knew about it. All my exs were calling me a slut and a bitch when in most if these reladhionships I was the one dumped. I have a boyfriend right now and all these rumours are spreading about how "I couldn't find anyone better" and more "she's jst a slut" type if things I've tried to make it stop by saying I didn't care but its useless. This might not seem like such a big deal but I never realized how much it would hurt. I don't want to go to school anymore. Do they even know what a slut means?! I don't know how to deal with this? Am I really a slut?
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When considering we're talking about high school and maybe early college age, this seems to be the norm as far as immature behavior and won't get much better until peoples brains fully finish growing by mid 20's and on.
Name calling is done with an intent to hurt a person. If someone thinks they know what it means and are simply trying to broadcast the truth for others to know, that makes them either immature, gossipers, low IQ, gullible, lacking any morals, wanting to follow the crowd like a lemming or all of that. No girl should be willing to settle for a guy like that.
In highschool, dating doesnt last long, but it should be productive and one should be learning from their experiences as to what the make up of a person who calls girls sluts, looks like so you can avoid getting involved next time with such a douchbag.
Slut is a word to describe a person who perhaps dresses to attract sexual attention, but for sure will have sex freely with many at the same time or simply going from one to the next, just for sex. I did not say females do this because the word applies to men too. And it is often more a fact that men act like sluts rather than women. A girl who is exceptionally beautiful, even if she dresses conservatively and does not engage in sex, can be called a slut by men, simply because by her looks, they assume they is easy and are assuming that she has had sex with many guys. All it takes is one ex date to say he had sex with her for the rumour to start and when subsequent dates are assuming they'll get easy sex with her as well and don't, they get pissed and throw their tantrums by way bullying her, calling her a slut. So if it's really the guys who are sluts, in order to take attention off oneself, a person points to someone else and accuses them of the shortcoming in theirself. It's a tactic of people with mental problems or mentally immature.
"slut-shaming" is not about teaching women self-respect; it’s about trying to control them.
It is, underneath it all, just a method to keep women in their place.” Laci Green
And here's a website that goes very extensively over the whole topic of slut shaming.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
So what is happening here is that you are being bullied. If you go looking, the internet is full of cases of girls commiting suicide for being called a slut or whore, no matter whether she did or didn't have sex. It only takes one person's cruel or vindictive comment to start the rumour and the resulting pain and shame to a girl/woman.
You need to talk to your parents and get their support. It might cross their minds to wonder if you have been sexually active but even that is no reason to be bullied. Many schools are aware of bullying and want to work actively to bring it to a stop. And your parents can help. Let them see my response here. You need their love and trust and support as parents right now...this coming from a mom of 3 girls. You can't remain alone in this or you may end up going the way of other girls who gave up in life. Perhaps getting you into another highschool or a private school would help. And then just refrain from dating any high school boys, and waiting for these males to grow up some more before venturing into dating again.
Good luck dear.
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