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moms phobia
About 2 years ago my aunt (moms sister) passed away. Before she passed away my mom experienced a few weird things. This one cupboard we have would always be slightly opened even after we shut it closed. Also she began dreaming about her phobia, cockroaches. Soon her night mares started becoming true when she would see them everywhere! They even crawled on her while she was sleeping. I would always wake up to her bloody screams. Then my aunt passed away and the weird things stopped occurring. Several months later my mom began seeing cockroaches everywhere again! About a month later my grandmother passed away.. I feel like it could be a coincidence but then again its her phobia so its pretty odd to have it happening to her before someone passes. Is this a sign of something?
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Hi there. Sorry to hear of your losses. It is relatively straightforward to explain IF your aunt and grandmothers deaths were expected. Were they in poor health up to their passing? If so your mum will have been very worried and anxious. But we do have a tendency to look on the bright side and 'hope against hope' that they will pull round and the worst will not happen. It's in our nature. If your mum was facing this battle in her mind (expecting the worst, but trying to hope for the best all the time) then it will cause a classic 'conflict' anxiety. Fear of death and separation are very strong and deep human fears. Perhaps THE strongest. We cannot dream of 'the fear of death and separation' it's just a concept. What we call an 'abstraction'. So her subconcious mind will 'choose' (if you like) a real, tangible physical object of fear (cockroaches) to represent it. You might be thinking 'Why didn't she just dream about them dying then?' This would be too direct. And too much against her conscious 'hoping for the best' approach. It's generally accepted that dreams act as a medium for our mind to face things we do not wish to confront in real life, but nearly always do it through 'coded' (not literal and direct) imagery. So during a time of anxiety our mind has many issues to deal with, some we are very reluctant to...and the dreams act as a 'safety-valve' to release some of the pressure, as it were. If the deaths were completely unexpected, 'came out of the blue' as you might say, and she had absolutely NO fear or expectation of them at all, then we must put it down to coincidence. That something else was causing her anxiety/fear at the same time. By the way, phobia 'lives' (as it were) in the subconcious mind, the part that we cannot 'talk to' directly. That's why we cannot reason and talk someone out of them. However many times you say to your mum "Be reasonable, roaches aren't dangerous...they won't hurt you...I'm not scared of them, neither is dad" and so on...it will not make a blind bit of difference. She'll remain phobic and scared of cockroaches. The fear is beyound the reach of reason and rationale. And that is precisely WHY phobias are so strong! Any help?
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It sounds as though your mom might have an anxiety disorder which causes her to hallucinate in stressful times. She should seek therapy and take many bubble baths. Tell her she needs some "me time".
Your very own,
Miss Piggy
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