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My boyfriend just doesn't know how to have sex. He can't do it!
18/f
So here's the thing. My boyfriend just doesn't know how to have sex. We've tried about ten times now. But he just can't put the condom on correctly. We've tried different sizes and everything and he just says its very uncomfortable. He is still a virgin (I'm not)
Obviously I love him which is why I want to help him with this. But idk how as its not like I'm experienced either?
He just can't stay hard as soon as he attempts to put the condom on...
Are there any other contraceptive methods we could try? I have asked him if he's sure he's ready and he said he'd really like to try. I just feel like we both don't really know what we're doing!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Condoms?
Well believe it or not that is very common with guys that are virgins and they are just starting to experience with their first partner. The reason why he is not staying hard while putting on the condom is because he is not relaxed. You guys might want to try turning the lights down low or try some fore play before the actual act. Help him relax and don't try to make him rush to put it on on the contrary you should help him put on the condom feeling the warmness of your hands while kissing his lips should help out some! If you make him feel like he was at his house alone about to masturbate i guarantee you he will rock your world. Its all a game of relaxation and being comfortable. Good luck
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Sex like everything else is a learned experience. Yes wearing a condom at first feels different from when he masturbates and yes he probably does masturbates. According to a survey 85% of do and if you ever give him a hand job or oral sex that is what you are doing for him.
Since you are 18 I suggest you get on birth control before you try to have sex. You are an adult now and you do not need parental permission to have birth control. In fact your parents no longer have any control over your medical needs or medical well-being. They may be footing the bill through their insurance but from the moment you turned 18 they no longer had the right to see or speak with your doctors in regards to you medical records or well-being. In fact from a real technical stand point they should not be allowed to make any medical appointments for you. You must make them for yourself.
While you’re waiting for the pill to take effect I suggest you do the following.
Putting on a condom is not hard. Part of the condom is supposed to hang of the end; this is where the ejaculate gathers. Place the condom on his penis and gently role it down the shaft of his penis. It may or may not go all the way to the base of his penis depending on how long he is.
Condoms come lubricated and flavored, in lambskin and latex. You will need to try a variety of them to see which type, lambskin or latex feels best to him and which brand he likes.
Now that the condom is in place have him lay back and relax while you give him a hand job. You will need extra lubricant so buy a tube of K-Y jelly. Make sure to bring him to climax. You may have to do this a few times while he gets use to wearing a condom.
Yes even though you are both virgins he needs to wear a condom even if you go on the pill. If you two are going to start having a sex life then start doing it right. Until you are both in long term relationships or married. Either to each other or someone else the boy is always to wear a condom both for his protection and the girls. Condoms prevent the transmission of many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. If you have sex with someone and a condom is not used you are having sex with all the people that person has had unprotected sex with and they have had unprotected sex.
There is also the plus factor of using a condom and being on birth control. A condom is 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. Birth control is almost 99% effective. Together they are almost 100% effective.
When I was your age the girls had a motto. "No rubber, no lover." They were hard and fast on that motto. Yes we guys would prefer a more natural way of having sex. Today it is unfortunate that you can't do that until you are in a long term relationship or married and have had the proper testing.
Once you get him past his problem with the condom comes the best part. In learning to make love communication here is important. Such as telling each other what you like and don't like; where you want to be touched and how, if you want more or less of something like foreplay. If you talk to each other you will have an enjoyable sex life with whoever your partner is.
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My better half had the same problem with his ex but not with me. Make sure boyfriend is at ease with you and trusts you, try putting it on yourself during foreplay so that he doesn't notice it as much.
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