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I need to solve this school and family problem quick!
I fucked up my high school carrier so bad all from pot, i am a clean cut 16 year old who is active and rides dirt bikes i have everything i could ever want, i constantly get yelled at everyday for my fuckin up in school, i just wanted to make my parents proud , but obviously thats not workin, they wont even let my transfer to a continuation school to earn credits and get my diploma there , im in a fucked up situation, i cant live for this shit, my whole fam would be so pissed if they knew how many credits i was missin, i need advice quick
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Honestly I dont see any other choice but to tell your family how far behind you are so you can take the steps towards completing school as soon as possible. As a mother of 3 sons I can tell you I would be extremely upset and disappointed to hear the news but to find out later would be even worse. As a mother I want my sons to know that I am here for them no matter what. I can't help them if they are not open and honest about what is going on. The last thing your family wants is to hear from someone else what you could have told them. If I were you I would work up some tears go to your mom and say, "mom, I need you". Tell her you messed up but have a plan to make things right. Try to work with your family from here on out. No matter how upset they may be the sooner the better to come out with it and make some changes. You need to graduate to make it in this world. Its not too late but time is over for playing around. Settle down, focus and work harder than ever to complete what you need to get done. Dont make excuses, or let friends talk you into any direction but to finish your education. You have the rest of your life and so much to experience. Please dont continue down this non productive path. I know you care about your family and yourself. They want to see you excel as much as you want to make them proud. It will probably be unpleasant having to distance yourself from friends and activities for awhile but do it. No matter what it takes. No matter how much time or extra work, getting up early staying late adding to your course load, you must do it. If you dont you will disappoint your family, and fail yourself making life so incredibly difficult. I know you can do it. I can hear in your written words your sense of urgency, desperation, and concern for your future in addition to your self and family. So, go ahead and make that first unpleasant step by telling your family. Of course they will be upset but that is because they love you. Just think how much better you will feel once the truth is out in the open. At least that bit of worry and stress will be over. Then focus on making things right from here on out. You got this, now it's time to do it.
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Hey hon, I am sure they may be pissed at what you've got happening at school. But first lets take another perspective here.
First, don't hate yourself for it. If you can't forgive your self, even with the best supportive family, you'll still not get ahead. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them,not repeating them.
That said, there are some reasons teens get into messes like this and it would be good for you to understand why and your parents to remember when they went through the same thing.
One obvious reason is peer pressure or just curiosity. The problem with resisting the peer pressure or being able to put a healthy limit on things is because of the following:
The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20's.
Therefore, young people are more prone to make decisions that have terrible results. We all suffer the consequences of having immature brains at that age, just some of us don't have it as bad and seem to skate through without any obvious bad effects.
Why I mention this about the brain is that knowing how this is affecting you now is part of the solution, the other part is utilizing adults you trust as a sounding board, someone to talk to of all the things you want to try and do, not just serious stuff like school but fun stuff like dating, sex, and yes, trying pot, smoking, drinking and also any problems. You need people who can be open minded, objective and not tempted to give you the answers, only another perspective.
In making decisions, even as adults, the more we research and the more perspectives we get before making a decision, the better equipped we are to make the best choice. When you are operating with only one perspective--yours---you have a fifty/fifty chance of getting it right or wrong. It is wise to up your odds of getting it right.
Good choices for an adult for a sounding board are first those who know you the best such as parents, an aunt, uncle or grandparent. Others can include school counselors, your priest, youth pastor, sport coach, any other professional adult you come into contact with who you feel comfortable going to for advice. You made a good first step by coming here for advice.
My husband had a psychologist as a mentor when his parents went to the guy for marriage counseling. The man met with the kids to see how the problems at home may have affected them. They became good friends and stayed in touch for 10-15 years. Although I utilized my parents a lot, other mentors were the school nurse and youth pastor.
Remember, a person should not be defined by their past, only upon what they are doing currently. Keep that in mind when viewing yourself and regarding how others view you. You want a mentor who will work with you based on where you are at right now, not on your past.
Your parents said no to you attending a different type of school just to get your GED. If they had the missing information of exactly where you are at it would explain why you asked. If you are serious about making up for lost time, and paying the consequences, they may be pissed but proud of you at the same time for wanting to fix that.
Give the parents a chance. They may be initially pissed but also proud at the same time.
If you can't handle their anger and disappointment, then tell them about the grades in a letter. Let them know that your current situation has scared you into wanting to do the right thing and make them proud. So you are giving them time to get over their initial reactions to this news by writing instead of speaking to them and once they have calmed down, you want them to come to talk to you. Let them know you are hoping for constructive support and suggestions to help you begin to learn how to make solid adult decisions, not taking the reins out of your hands and making all the decisions for you but giving you a chance to have a voice regarding your future. Good luck with that. If the parents can't handle it well and are not helpful, don't give up dear...it's your life and future here so if you find yourself in this situation, then go find someone who will help you by laying out all your options, and helping you get hooked up with the solution.
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