|
Very Depressed Friend
I have a friend with a very difficult family and personal situation. His mother has cancer, his little brother has heart problems, his relatives are cruel (possibly abusive), and his father walked out among other things. I am a female in the same year of school (high-school) as him. We're friends, but not terribly close. Today he was in a hallway crying after school (never seen him show any emotion beyond mild anger before), I approached and asked if he was alright, but he told me to go away so I left, and when I came back later, he was gone. I'm not sure if he's suicidal or not, and something in my gut tells me I shouldn't have left. I do have both his phone number and his email address, but I doubt he'd respond to either. I don't really know what to do at this point, but I care about him quite a lot and am rather concerned. Suggestions?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Adviceman is right in saying it is best to inform some adult at school. A teacher may be too busy or caught up with their classes to pass the message on in a timely manner to the office, to the principal and counselors. I would go straight to counselors. Even if he were not suicidal, the emotional distress will affect his performance in school and his grades fall because he can't focus. So they need to know, even if just for that reason.
Kudos to you for being such a loving caring person. Keep it up.
]
If you suspect your friend is suicidal you should tell a teacher or the school nurse. It is better to error on the side of caution than to do nothing in these situations.
I'm sure your friend is distraught with the situation he is in. I'm just as sure he may not totally understand the situation. Cancer is not always a death sentence today. Many cancers are curable if caught early enough. Still we all hear the word and think the worst.
Talking with a trust teacher and telling him or her what you suspect and what you know of his home life at the moment can be very helpful. The school may not be aware of what is going on at home. He may feel he has to bear the brunt of the problem on his shoulders when fact is if he asks for help there is help out there.
If he hasn't told the school what is happening at home and you do. The help that is out there can be gotten for him and his family. A great deal of this help comes from the department of social services. There job is not just to help the poor and indigent. There job is to also help families like your friends. TO do so someone has to inform them that help is needed. The school system can make the proper notification once they are informed by you.
Your instincts about his possibility of suicide may be more correct than you think. Here again the school system can take the lead in getting him the help he needs to relieve the stress that is causing him the depression he is reacting too. Depression is the cause of any suicidal thoughts he may be having. So I urge you to inform your teachers. You might also inform your parents. They in turn could inform the local police depart about your concerns.
]
Your heart is in the right place as many people would turn away and in fact leave him alone. The fact is although you don't know why he was upset that you know it's unlike him.
I'm definitely sure that e-mail is the last place to bring this up with him. You should find a way to get him alone and tell him that no matter what was upsetting him that you will always be around to help him and listen and that you know the situation at home is troubling.
If he pushes you away at least you did what was right. As far as him being suicidal it's something you don't know as fact. What you could do if concerned he may be that way is to talk on condition of anonymity to a teacher you both trust and tell them what you know and what you saw and have them approach him.
Either way if your gut is telling you that something is really wrong and alarms are going off and red flags up say something to an adult that can intervene.
That's being responsible and nobody said that would be easy. Sometimes situations are icky and we have to tell people what we know. As this could be a life-altering one for him get that info out to people you can trust to act.
]
More Questions: |