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promise ring? too soon?
I am a sixteen year old girl and im in a serious relationship and i have been for a year. I recently discovered my noyfriend wants to give me a promise ring. I've been in one serious relationship before and I never felt this way Is it too soon to be given a promise ring? Am i too young?
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Well it depends on how you feel about your boyfriend. If you have been in a long relationship before you probably know what it feels like to be in love. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? I was dating my boyfriend for 2 years before he gave me a promise ring. we are still together. but when he gave it to me i knew that i loved him and was ok with spending the rest of my life with him. Just think about those things and if your ready then accept it, if not talk to him and let him know you think it is to soon to be getting a promise ring. dont let this turn into a fight just let him know how you feel about it!
Hope i helped(:
if you need anything else feel free to message me personally.
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You should probably ask yourself a question: Are you taking the promise ring seriously?
If your answer is no, then you could accept it now and if your relationship takes a turn for the worse you can always give it back to him when you break up. Think of it as back in the 1950's when boys used to give girls their letter jackets or class rings and it was simply a symbol that they were "going steady" and therefore the other boys should stay away from the girl because she had a boyfriend. If the relationship ended, it was customary to give the ring back.
If your answer is yes then you should very carefully consider that a promise ring will, a few years down the road lead to an engagement ring and ultimally marriage. This leads to more questions.
-Are you 100% certain at 16 this is the boy you want to spend the next 60+ years with?
-How are you going to handle it as the two of you get deeper into puberty and deeper into making your life choices as you approach 18, 20, 25 when you want to go to colleges 100's of miles apart, or you want to go to college and he doesn't? Do you know right now if you both want kids? Are you set in your religious beliefs and is he? Can you live with these possible differences?
You can be as serious about this promise ring as you want. If you are both very serious about it then realize what it is you are saying by accepting it. You are commiting to this boy at 16!
The "promise ring" is a vague term. Be sure you both understand the full ramifications of the ring. It generally refers to the promise to be monogomous with the one person until you are officially engaged and ultimately married. It can also refer to a ring otherwise known as a purity ring. A "promise" to remain sexually abstinant until married. There are laws of marriage. "Promises" dont have official laws. Just be sure you both have an understanding of what is appropriate behavior for each of you since there arent any official guidelines.
Making decisions about who we want to marry, whether or not to have kids, what we want to do in our career... these are supposed to be very difficult decisions that a 16 year old is not generally equiped to make. Whats important to you now at 16 is probably NOT going to be important to you at 25 or 26 when your brain has reached its full development.
It is always concerning when young people want to make adult decisions to get married or have children when you still have several years of maturing.
This is hypothetical... but right now you know you are in love with your boyfriend because he is nice to you, compliments you, buys you gifts, is gorgeous, popular, sporty, and drives a nice car. You may decide when you are 21 that you really want to go on a humanitarian mission to Africa. He has no interest in giving up his life here to live in the jungle with no electricity or running water. He wants to finish his Engineering degree and go on to do something great and wonderful in his field. Or vice versa. What if he decides with his given career path his best location would be on the ocean because he is a marine biologist but as an archaeologist you need to be in the desert (again- all hypothetical but hopefully you get the point). There are major sacrifices that often have to be made.
When young people ask me about relationships I generally give this advice: Have fun as a teenager. Leave the adult stuff to the adults. Leave sex, children, marriage, all the big stuff out of the picture until you have lived out your childhood. You only get 18 years to be a kid and then you have to make career choices and other major life choices. Be cautious getting involved in "serious" relationships because it is unnecessary to choose "the one" when you are still a kid. Date. Get to know the type of man you want to be with. Different boys are going to have different things that you really like or really dislike. The point of dating is to figure out what you can and can NOT live with so when you are an adult and meet a man, you know and understand whether he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Be extremely cautious about commiting yourself at 16. Just be a kid and have fun. You only get 2 more years and then your decisions really count. There is a lifetime left for sex, marriage, having babies... but you only get to be a kid for a little while longer. Why cloud it with excessive drama and worry?
Loads of babble here. Hopefully at least one sentence of it will apply to your life or situation and make some sort of sense.
Good luck on whatever decision you make. Above all else; love your self and love your decision.
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