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I might not graduate, my father will kill me
Alright, this is the thing. I HATE my highschool. Really, HATE it. So I've been pretty much miserable, which is why I've been skipping alot, and now I found out..because of this, I might not graduate. Now you'll probably never understand my culture, but there's nothing more important than education, My father has said it straight to my face "I don't care abotut your happiness, as long as you get into a GREAT university, and have straight A's" and last night he said "Go study! If you have any B's this year, I'll be really dissapointed, and you won't be my daughter!" And when I tried to tell him how dumb that is he said "I've only ever asked you for ONE thing in your life, and that's good grades, just that one thing..I think it's reasonable to ask you to do good in that" or something along those lines. I'm so scared :S and the thing is, since I've feared my father basically my whole life, I've never told him th truth about my grades, my mom has covered up for me, and told him I get straight A's even though I don't. And we were going to do that this year too, but now we can't..because I might not graduate. I can't stop crying, because it seems like there's no solution..I can not get anyone else involved, I can't ask my mother to help me anymore..I just can't. And I CAN NOT talk to my father, it's just not in my culture. So please..don't suggest any of those things. But..what can I do? Is there anything? Please help me :'(
Thank you!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Out of curiosity, what is your culture? I only ask because it sounds similar to mine (a certain Asian-immigrant culture); my parents are pretty easygoing compared to others, but they still value education greatly, and my friends often have had to bear the full brunt of academic pressure.
I don't know what to say... I've had to support friends before with issues like this, and from personal observations the truth has usually come out anyway, sometimes in a rather unpleasant manner. =( That said, the way I see it, you have two options:
1) Get the truth out. Somehow. I _know_ this isn't as simple as my words would suggest, and perhaps you don't want to hear this, but I don't see any way out of your situation in which your father wouldn't find out in the long run anyway.
2) Graduate. Somehow. Again, easier said than done, but this does depend on your feelings. Is it _this_ highschool you hate, or going to school in general? If it's the former, try to justify alternative educational paths in terms of education, e.g. summer schools, transferring schools = 'it'll pay off for my future', 'it's beneficial to my education', 'if I go to vocational college first, I'll have an advantage over others once I go to uni', etc. If it's the latter... I'm afraid the more you try to appease your father, the unhappier you'll become yourself.
Do you have a definite career path in mind? Some career paths don't require you to go to a prestigious uni straightaway, if at all. It just sounds like you're directionless and he's taken it upon himself to direct your path for you.
No matter what, you'll have to consider yourself first. You might cause your father and your mother unhappiness, or cause them to be disappointed in you. However, the situation appears to have reached such a head that any decision made will cause pain to somebody anyway. I think though that what your father wants the most for you is success and happiness, despite what he says -- he just absolutely believes that education's the best way to get it.
I'm sorry, I don't know if any of that helped -- it really is a difficult problem you're in. Are you positive there's nobody you can talk to? We can't help much. Good luck regardless -- it sounds like even changing schools, for example, might help you.
viviena (shirty@gmail.com)
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Okay you know something it happend to my sister and she justsinged up for summer school and then got those credits and then started the last 2 or three classes she needed to pass in september so best thing to tell you is speak to your guidance counselor about what you can do and the same thing im telling you she's gonna tell you so dont pressure yourself because the more credits you've earned or messed up on and earned them back is gonna look good on your college recomendation and the way the teachers will talk about you to the college supervisors would be good that would see where you made an effort to get things done and you proved it to everyone so please believe me it will work just beleive in yourself you can achieve
Yours Truley Bella
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Your father might feel this way, but you do need to do what's best for you. Obviously skipping school isn't the answer, but we all have our bad days. Don't keep doing it though, it can lead to more problems, as you've already found out.
If you want to make all A's, do a semester of summer school. It really isn't as bad as it sounds and it will probably make you feel better. If you don't want to do that, study more, go in for tutorials, get a tutor, take extra classes. Prove to your teachers that you KNOW you messed up.
If you want to, you should stand up to your father. If what he wants for you isn't what you want, you shouldn't have to suffer for it too. I can see why he wants you to do well, education is important, but you need to be happy also.
Try not to worry about it. I know that right now that seems almost impossible, but the more time you spend worrying about it, the less time you're doing something about it!
Talk to your counselour and see what he/she can do with your credits. Everything will work out in the end!
Good luck!
♥ Evy
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OH gosh...I'm asian so my parents expect pretty much the same thing. If you really are failing or doing poorly...unfortunately, I must say to take summerschool. Try to do things to get extra credits so you can graduate.
Hope everything works out!
*♥
MC
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wow. tough situation. well you can always tell your mom and have her say something like...she has to do another year of school so she can get into a good university. it's only for the best. and even tell your mom that you're afraid of your dad. but if anything tlak to your MOM. and have her talk to ur dad. that's really all i have... i hope it helps...
-steph <3
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