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H3Y even though this question is long please don't pass it over I need help.
Im almost fourteen and my nine seventeen year old brother died about a week ago. I don't want to talk about it and my parents are trying to force me into it. I don't want to talk sometimes, I just want to forget. But theres something inside me that wont let me and thats when I get either angry or sad, but I never find myself in tears. I havn't cried since I found out he was dead. Those were tears of shock. If you were in the middle of an algerbra test and got pulled out just to be told your big brother was hit by a car you would probably cry too. I can't take this anymore. Sometimes I just want to turn him into some distant memory, and other times I want to remember him. People tell me to remember all the good times we had, but that just makes me even more sad to know that we won't ever have those times again. My parents arn't helping either. They're wanting to have another baby. They want to replace him. Plus they have allready started turning his old room into a study for my dad. MY twenty year old sister does nothing but cry and therefore gets all the sympathy. I dont ever cry so people think I dont care, but I probably care more than anybody. I know even though he's dead but not gone it still doesn't help me. I find myself always asking "What if." I can't stand "What ifs" But the one question that I have always promised I'd never ask myself is "Why me" Then I realized I shouldn't be asking why me. I wasnt the one that died. So now I am despising my sister for her constant mourning, because she's not crying for Bryson, she's crying for herself. All I need to know is that if I force myself into crying if it will make the pain go away. And if it won't how can I stop hating the world around me. Because now I'm starting to hate myself. I'm afraid to love or trust anybody again and I can't do it alone. (link)
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oh babe.. this world is cruel and theres not much we can do to control what happens or when it happens, but you cant let things like this keep you down. Deaths can either bring out the worst in people or the best, and in your case it sounds like its bringin out the worst.. you cant let that happen! No, ive never been in this situation before but i know enough about it to know that yes its tough and yes other people are going to TRY to help but in most cases they will make it worse. Ant dont make yourself cry, its pointless.. i had a grandfather recently die and no he wasnt as close to me as a brother would be but he was still close, i didnt cry once, not even when i found out, but everyone around me was crying.. i thought i was doin the wrong thing by not crying but i think cryign makes it worse.. it makes everything go through your head.. the good things and the bad things.. it makes you sick to your stomach.. it actually brings out the violence and the hatred more.. just hang in there babe.. its all goin to be ok, just stay strong and turn to someone you can really trust and talk to them.. face to face helps..
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hey sarabeth. its austen. just wanted to say whats up. shermans still the same. boring and nothin to do. hope i get to see u soon. later dude. much love (link)
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hey austen.. lol yeah i all you guys sooo much!.. cant wait to come hang out! ;)
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Sarabeth you help all these people with their advice but truley the person you need to give advice to is yourself. why did you use people to become popular. your real friends where the one that talked to you when you got here not the ones that are your friends now not the on that are called the so called "popular group" the ones that became ur friends beacause you where holister, and all those clothes. thats the only reason the popular grup became your friends b/c of the clothes you wear, but the people that where your friends when you first got here and you lonley didnt like you b/c of ur clothes the liked you b/c of who you are. so stop treating people like dirt sarabeth and wake up and be nice to the people that cared about b/c of you. (link)
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ooor could this just be JEALOUSY kicking in?.. hmm i wonder.. :/
IM me and tell me who this is cuz i dont like to be bitched out in my own advice column.. (not kool).. so if you wanna bitch me out dont do it in here.. im not gonna fight with you were everyone can read it.. it might just embarress you a little.. so for your benifit you might wanna IM me or keep your comments to yourself! thanx babe! ;)
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I think long distance relationships do work if you put effort into it and you really like the guy. Look at Holly and Zach (link)
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well since your just soooo good at advice that you think you can just bud into MY advice column and give differnt advice maybe you should make your OWN advice column.. oh yeah and by the way she did say her and her bf arent even close enough to open up to eachother.. so how the hell do you think thats ever gonna work out?!.. and i KNOW who it was that asked that question and i know her bf too so yeah i know for a fact how it would end up if they tried long distance.. so yeah.. maybe you should keep your advice to yourself hun! ;)
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Hey sb,
thanks for the help and you know that you know who this is! lol yeah well its hard for me because you know that hes shy but I guess im gonna wait it out! like people say to do so yeah, but any ways thanks alot sb love ya!
Signed, far away friend (link)
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welcome babe.. hope it gets better for ya!
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OK S-beth....
OK ive been going out with this guy for a long long time and I found out hes moving but its still kind of hard to open up all the way to him as i can with other ppl(like other guys) and I dont even want to ask him myself what he thinks we should do scince hes moving and i've just been so confussed latley and dont know what to do PLEASE HELP ME
signed,
scared and confussed (link)
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ahhh i DEFINATELY know who this is.. and yeah i was in that position once too.. (cough cough TREY cough cough).. lol and yeah i thought i really realyl liked him and we talked about long distance stuff adn all that but oooomg theres NO WAY that stuff ever works at this age!.. ever!.. i mean hes gonna move FOREVER away, and ya you will miss eachother, but hes gonan find another girl and your gonna find another guy and its all gonna be good again.. yesssss i admit its hard at first but beleive me you will find someone else and it will get better.. and i mean if your not THAT close in the first place it shouldnt be TOO hard.. i mean i know you have been goin out forever but if your not even close enough to open up and tlak about long distance stuff what makes you think its even gonna work out?! lol well i hope it gets better!.. and i love ya!
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ok sbeth i need ur help.me and this girl went out 4 a long time and i really truly loved her but then she broke up with me out of the blue.since we have broken up i have gotten with a few girls but every girl that i got with made me want her back more and more.i need her,i need her 2 live,i can't eat,i can't sleep,i can't do anything except think about her.i no i am only 14 and we r just kids and stuff like that but i really love her.everynight befor i go 2 sleep i pray that mayb 2 morrow she will start likin me again(i no she never is though...but the slim chance is the only thing holdin on 2 me).its truly killin me,i haven't eatin in 5 days,i haven't got a good nights sleep in 2 months,but i can't eat and i can't sleep no matter how hard i try.i can't keep livin like this,but i can't just stop lovin her.all i want is 4 her and me 2 both b happy.but i don't no how 2 make it happen.
help me please!!!!!
signed,
the general lee (link)
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i know who this is.. and dont give me this shit again.. you should fucking know i would know who this is.. damn you.. why the hell would you even leave this in my advice column.. trying to make me feel bad again?.. yeah well how about you just never talk to me again.. im sorry but i cant put up with you anymore.. all you are doing is making my life hell and i cant handle it anymore.. okay?.. so why dont you fucking go tell someone else about your problems.. cuz obviously I DONT GIVE A SHIT!.. oh yeah.. and FUCK YOU!
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OK... hey
Well lets see....Last year I was in 7th grade...it was really good I had the best friend ever and I didnt think that it would ever change...she was the kinda girl who didnt really care about boys or what people thought of her...ok now this year this new girl came and she didnt have any friends so we became friends...now the new girl refers as us best friends she is really cool and I love her (as a friend) and I dont know if I exactly wanna say we are best friends I just dont know about it...and the other girl is fading away...she acts different she trys to fit in with the crowd ...I wanna be her best friend tho...I dont think she wants to be mine now because she thinks I like the new girl better...Do I tell then new girl how I feel? What do I say to my old friend? I dont want both of them to hate me..I just dont know what to do..the old girl just doesnt seem to care about me and is so secretive...and I also have a bf and I dont think my old friend likes him..so she is nto around me when I am around him..what do I do? Please help me! Thanks (link)
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listen.. im not good with these "new girl" questions.. cuz im always the new girl and when i have to read this shit it just makes me wonder.. so im sorry but i cant answer this for you.. :/
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hey sbeth
i recently broke up with my girlfriend becasue she liked another guy, but she still likes me and there is this other girl that could be a possibility. me and this other girl went to the movies the other day and u know how that goes...;) but i don't want to let the other one down "hard", because i have feelings for her too, but more for my X. what should i do??
(link)
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sucks for the girl that you went to the movies with.. :/ this has happened to me before, so i think i'll know how to answer this.. alright well the other girl (the one you went to the movies with).. jus tell her the truth, dont keep leading her on if you haev feelings for another girl more.. cuz then when you do break the news to her it would totally crush her.. go for the one you like more.. but be nice and calm about telling the other girl, cuz girls take things kinda hard and you comin off rude to her about it would just make things worse.. wich you dont need.. so yeah just go for the one you like most and try to explain to the other one why you are goin with the decisin you made.. good luck hun!
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hey sb, this is neverletgo2005 again, and i meant that i don't think i 'like him like that' anymore, but im not sure. all i know is taht i want to be friends agan.. but the thing is, he doesn't even talk to me at all anymore. if u need more details im me thanks love ya
-neverletgo2005 (link)
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well.. maybe you both are just scared of rejection.. maybe he feels the same way you do right now.. you cant always depend on the other person to make the moves.. you got to contribute a little yourself.. just real yourself in there and start talkin to him again.. i know it sounds hard but ya gotta do waht ya gotta do.. hehe HAVE FAITH.. hope it works out for ya! ;)
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Hi there,
I really need help cuz i dont know if the girls i used to hang out with are truly my friends. I hang out with the "popular" crowd as the other girls say but ever since this one girl came to our school they started to ignore me and i dont know if it is b/c all the guys flirt with me and they like me or if the new girl started to say things bout me (even though she doesn't know me well enough) but the so call friends use to invite me to parties and to their houses but now they dont so i need ur help... are they really my friends???:/
Confuse grl (link)
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i dont know i cant really answer this.. cuz i WAS a new girl once.. and really we will do whatever it takes to make new friends.. :/ sometimes even turn other ppl from being friends.. we dont do it intentionaly but it happens.. like with me and katie.. she used to have other best friends but now me and her are best friends.. so i dont know.. i guess talk to your friends about it.. i dont know what else to tell ya.. :/
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Hey Sarabeth, say you like this guy ever since march, then then on the last day of october he asks you out (im very patient ;)). you start falling for him, a lot faster than you want to. towards the very end of February, you break up with him, and you say its because ur busy and blah blah blah, but you're just scared (I know its dorky shutup), of love kinda. you've never ever ever dated the same guy for more than 3 months. i don't think i like him like that anymore, but it ruined the friendship. and whether we ever go out again, i dunno, but either way, i miss him. what should i do?
love ya!! ;)
-Neverletgo2005 (link)
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wow.. i dont understand.. do you mean you just want to be friends again and start talkin again?.. cuz you made it sound like you dont want to have anything to do with him anymore and then you say you miss him.. *confused* :/ ... lol try refraisin that for me and ill get back to ya! ;)
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s*beth is it true that you can fall in love at 14?? because i have emotions for this one guy that i never had shared with anyone before. i mean my friends tell me its possible. but im only 14. and its just soo confusing at this point in time. andd he loves me(as so he says) and yeah.
well i need your advice if i should concider saying "I love you" to my boyfriend. ive never said it before to any previous bf's. but should i say it?? love is a very passionate/serious word. and some girls just use it for thier weekend boyfriends. soo help me plz!
signed: LoveStruck (link)
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only you can answer that babe.. :/ i cant tell you if your in love.. and you shouldnt have to question it..
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ok what do you do when your friendship feels like its falling apart and you think it is your fault.People have been bugging my best guy friend to much and he thinks its me that puts them up to it when its not. (link)
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bugging him about.. what? :/ haha i cant help ya out with this one cuz im totally confused..
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Ok, me and this one guy broke up about a month ago, i really like this guy alot..and have for along time, but never really ever did anything with it. Then we went out, and broke up, then we out again..and now we're broken up for good. I hate it, i miss him so much...but now he likes this other girl, and this girl likes him...i don't know what to do. I don't wanna ruin anything she has with him because shes really nice to me. Oh well what should i do?! (link)
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well its weird.. im having the exact same problem.. except (sadly) im the other girl.. but i mean if i was in your position i dont know.. its really hard to like someone when either you know your not gonna get him back or he likes someone else or both.. but its life.. and shits gonna happen but you gotta take it and dont let it get in your way.. maybe this just means the guy isnt for you and theres someone else out there just waitin for you.. with open arms.. and the only thing you gotta do now is find 'em.. ;) and beleive me.. you will! and i also know its hard to try to just forget about someone and move on.. but we all have to do it sooner or later (i have :/ and it was REALLY hard).. but you will be able to.. but i guess all you can do is let what happens happen.. and i hope for the best for ya babe! ;)
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im startin to like this girl but im not sure if i wann gf......what should i do (link)
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hmm.. well thats in your own hands.. if you like her then maybe you should give it a shot.. but you gotta answer your own question here.. if ya like her then ya like her.. but now all ya gotta do is decide.. do you want a gf or do you not want a gf.. if ya want one GO FOR IT! if not.. then i dunno what to tell ya! lol do w.e you want to do, w.e makes you happy.. good luck! ;)
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About 2 months ago I was like in love with this one guy (I'll call him #1). He was pretty much all I could think about all day at school and anywhere I went he was all I could think about. Everytime I talked to him I felt like I was floating. He made me feel so good about myself. He liked me too for a little while. But, then he really started to like this other girl a lot(I'll call her K), and she was so pretty so I decided I would tell everyone that I didn't like him anymore when I was still like in love with him. Then, this other guy came along (I'll call him #2) and he REALLY REALLY liked and still does like me. So I thought I would give him a chance to maybe change me heart. But after a month of going out with #2 I still had the strogest of feelings for #1 so me and #2 broke up a week ago. And now #2 is my best friend, but he still loves me, and I just don't feel the same toward him. Well, now #1 is going out with this one girl (I'll call her S). Then have been going out for about 3 or 4 weeks now. Well Friday night I saw and talked to #1 a lot, and it was just like all my feelings were there with him all over again. Yesterday #1 told me that he still liked me even tho he is going out with S. I asked him why is he still going out with S, but he said he hates breaking up, and he in kinda known for short relationships at his school. He said he likes me a lot, and at first I didn't believe him, but he is not the kind of guy who would ever joke about stuff like that. Well #1 is still going out with S and I think I'm falling for #1 all over again. I don't know what to do. I meen I don't want to tell him how I feel, but then again I do. I don't want everyone to think I am bad if #1 and S break up.. What do I do? (link)
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lol.. that was a really well put story.. lol.. but anyways.. tell the guy how ya feel! for one it will make you feel a little better about all this and two it might help the situation out a little.. i mean if he likes you more then he likes "S" then he needs to go for you.. cuz for one thats hurting "S" and two he needs to go for who he likes more then going for the person he doesnt want to hurt.. and yes if ppl find out that you are the cause of their break up rumors will go around and you will probably have to live through hell for about a week or 2 but just dont let them see that the rumors are hurting you any.. and once they see that the rumors are doing nothin they will stop.. but you cant control who you like so just tell him how you feel and after that all you can do is hope for the best.. hope my advice helped a little.. good luck!
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sbeth,
i need your help DESPERATLY. me and my boyfriedn broke up but im still crazy about him....what do i do??
*need help* (link)
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if i knew how to answer this question then i wouldnt have been in the situation i was in about 2 weeks ago.. :/ all i can say is no matter what happens dont let it bring you down.. dont let it take over you.. things change and so do ppl but dont blame yourself for it.. all the breakup means is he wasnt the right guy fro you.. and i promise you that you WILL find that right one! just give it time..
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Hey Sarabeth! (link)
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just tell him the truth.. tell him how you feel.. and that you want the relationship back.. hes never gonna know how you feel and what you want unless you tell him straight up.. and dont wait to tell him how you feel either cuz then another girl might come a long and then you wont get a chance at all! and thats definately no good!.. but maybe he just wants a break right now, and guys at this age like being single more then they like having a gf.. dont ask me why lol but they do.. just give him time.. but dont hold back, tell him whats on your mind.. EVERYTHING thats on your mind.. good luck babe!
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ok s*beth
..i was talking to my best friend previously about high school. and she said that she wanted to be in swimming. and i totally supported her desision even though she hasent been swimming all her life. so i said that i would LOVE to be a texann and that im taking dance classes this summer to improve. you would think your best friend would support you, but no she has to say WHAT YOUR SOO SHY, YOUR SOO NOT A GOOD DANCER IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! omg i wanted to yell at her and say that WHY do you have to put me down all the time!! but im a good friend and dont say anything. so whats your advice for me! thnks.
*love*ya* (link)
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well at least you have a best friend who tells you the truth.. not just what you want to hear.. maybe shes right.. :/ all i can say is do your best and i guess ignore her.. lol
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