Gender: Female
Member Since: April 14, 2006
Answers: 7
Last Update: April 19, 2006
Visitors: 1653
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i have a problem reading school materials, i cannot read when i want to (there is a specific time i can read effectively like in the morning) and i cannot read for a long time. 1 or 2 things happen when i read, i either get distract and cannot continue to read due to the lack of concentration or when i read it for a long time nothing seems to come into my head and basically i read nothing even though i did.
So how do i get myself to read effectively and for a very long time? especially with biology and chemistry i know there are a lot of readings to do but then i cannot continue to read after 1 hour or 2. I need help bad because im falling behind and need to catch up with all this reading (link)
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Hello,
I understand your frustration. When I was in high school, though, I had a very long attention span and could study and work on things for 3-4 hr stretches without getting bored or tired.
Now, having finished high school, and college, and then grad school, and then worked for several years, I'm now facing a certification type exam for my job.
This involves a year-long course of study, largely on my own time, because there's no homework and no class-- this is studying on my own when I get home from work and on weekends. And you can imagine what a whole lot of NOT FUN it is! So when I first began studying, I could barely keep focused on the material for 10 minutes. Part of the reason was because it was pretty damn boring. Another reason, though, was that my job involves doing a lot of different things at the same time, and being interrupted all the time. So my attention span had been TRAINED to be very short.
And I was determined to train it back, which I managed to do and I am back to being able to study for 2-3 hrs or more in a focused manner.
So, I recommend a few things:
1. DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF. Don't feel badly. A lot of us have this problem, and it doesn't mean that you aren't smart or aren't together. It just means that your attention span is a little shorter than you'd like it to be. I'm not saying this to be nice and touchy feely, because I'm not really that nice or touchy feely at all.
I just know that it's hard to be effective if you're always cutting yourself down and being too critical.
2. Set reasonable goals. For example, if I had to eat all the food I require in one day, but in one giant meal, my stomach would really hurt. Actually, it'd probably burst. Not good. But if I space it out in 3 or 4 meals, I should be fine. In the same way, don't tell yourself that you should read for 2 hrs.
How about saying: "I have biology and chemistry and English homework today. Let me break this down so I can give myself a little mental break every now and then.
Do 45 minutes of English.
Get up, walk around the room, get a glass of water.
Do 45 minutes of biology reading.
Get up, stretch a bit.
Do a 45 minutes of chemistry reading.
Look up, look out the window, give your eyes (and brain a break.
Do another 45 minutes of biology reading...
and so forth. You get the idea.
3)In addition to breaking things up, I recommend that when you finish a study interval, try to stop at a good stopping point, like the end of a chapter or the end of a section.
4)Don't be afraid to take small steps. If even 30-minute intervals are too long, break it down to 15 minute intervals. Although I advise that if you break it down to 15 minute intervals, DO NOT SWITCH subjects. Otherwise, it gets harder to remember what you've done. So 15 minutes of Bio, take a breather, 15 more minutes of Bio, take a breather, etc.
5)Time your breaks-- don't go off and watch an hour of TV or take a long nap. :-) These should be short, 5- minute breaks just so you can take a breath.
6)You mention that you feel like you're not really retaining the material that you're reading, that perhaps, it feels like your eyes are just following the words without them really clicking in your brain.
This happens to me when I'm tired.
I really stress getting enough sleep every night. The older I get, the more this becomes necessary, but even when I was in high school, I found getting 7-8/hrs a night really helpful. I simply remembered things more easily.
7)One way to remember what you're reading and to make your brain really 'click' is:
BE AN ACTIVE READER!
Don't just skim if you don't feel like you didn't understand what you just read.
Don't be afraid to go back and say: ok, so this description of mitosis and meiosis? What's the difference? Why are they different? And go hunt for the answers in what you just read.
It might be tempting to just mark pages that you've read, but you'll actually waste time if you let your eyes glance over 100 pages, but you remember 0 pages.
Another way to make yourself understand is to take notes on the stuff you found the most difficult to understand. For example, if you understand what mitochondria are, and the difference between DNA and RNA, but you can't remember the theories about mitochondria and why scientists think they used to be separate organisms (rather than organelles, as they are now), go back and look that part up and write it down. I wouldn't write down stuff you already know, since that wastes time, but the stuff you don't know, so you don't have to keep relearning it.
And finally, a great way to make yourself understand and remember is: Can you explain it to someone else? It might sound hokey, but think of what you would say if you had to explain what these things were, what the relationship between these things are, and why they work the way they do. If you can do that, you've got it down pat.
8)Finally, if all of these things don't work, I would advise that you talk with your parents (assuming that they are reasonable people and not obsessive people who push their children like prize racehorses and punish them for not getting perfect grades).
If they are reasonable about this kind of stuff, ask them if they have any advice. And whether they would be willing to have you tested for any sort of learning disability or attention deficit disorder. There's no shame in having any of these, and folks who have these conditions can still be smart and successful. And it could be that it's none of these thigns at all and that one just needs to develop good study habits.
Depending on what your school is like and what the guidance counselors are like, they might be able to point you to some places where one gets more coaching on study habits.
But I would say, be careful of the guidance counselors. Some are great and some suck. I don't know what your school is like, but I will say that in some schools, the guidance counselors are great-- very involved and caring towards the students, and very competent about helping them achieve.
In the school I went to, the guidance counselors sucked donkey wang because they were just losers who couldn't get a real job elsewhere and had to hide in a nice, cushy unionized job. They had no clue about anything, and if you went to them with any problems, instead of helping you, they'd mark you out to be a problem person. They lost papers, records, recommendation letters. They came to work late and left early-- you get the idea. I am very lucky my parents were very reasonable and cool and managed to get into an Ivy League university.
So if none of the tips I've provided help, I'd recommend asking the help of adults that YOU TRUST, to suggest alternatives.
Again, I think you can do it, just give these ideas a shot and don't be too hard on yourself. School's important (because exams and where you go to college is used by corporations and people to 'sort' others into categories and determine how much people get paid), but it's not everything. And unless you want to be a doctor or engineer, you will never use the biology or chemistry again in your adult life!
Best of luck and keep on truckin'!
Old Mongoose.
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can i get websites that give me information about this:
1.) 6 FACTORS THAT CONTROL CLIMATE IN A REGION
2.) WHAT CONTROLS GLOBAL CLIMATE?
3.) HOW CAN 2 CITIES HAVE THE SAME TEMP BUT VERY DIFFERENT CLIMATES?
4.) HOW CAN 2 CITIES HAVE NEARLY THE SAME YEARLY RAINFALL BUT VERY DIFFERENT CLIMATES?
5.) HOW DOES ALTITUDE AFFECT TEMP.? WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEIGHT & ALTITUDE?
6.) HOW DO PREVALILING WINDS DETERMINE WHETHER A CLIMATE IS MARINE OR CONTINENTAL?
i knoooooooooo this is alot, but all i need is the websites in which i can find ALL of this info @. you dont need to give me a bunch of answers! thank you soooooooooh much in advance :) (link)
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Hello,
Sounds like an interesting project. And I'm glad that you're looking for some pointers as to where to start rather than asking people to do the work for you. I hope you'll find this project interesting.
So, as a starting point:
1)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climate
Wikipedia is the free open-source encyclopedia. It gives a good overview of what climate is and explains the difference between 'climate' and 'weather.'
It also gives an overview of what controls the climate in a region and what controls global climate.
2) Here's another website that is chockfull of information about climates and why they vary:
http://www.blueplanetbiomes.org/climate.htm
3)And here's the BBC site on Geography and Climate:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/geography/weather/globalclimaterev1.shtml
4)This one might be the most directed to some of the questions you ask-- with information about latitude and marine climates.
5)For Specific U.S. Climate info, I would advise going to the NOAA website:
http://www.noaa.gov/
They have pretty detailed maps that show precipitation and temperature patterns in various regions of the U.S. and over time series, too.
These are just starting points and may lead you to other links.
Best of luck on your project!
Old Mongoose.
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can anyone give me some pointers on what are some of the foods that are good to eat to help you have more energy for working out n stuff.
o and how much should i run a day and should i do sprint exercise, or jog, or both. i'm lookin to lose some weight and become stronger. i'm already pretty atheltic (link)
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How much you should run a day depends on where you are currently at.
It's not good to push your body beyond what it can *currently* handle. Otherwise, you can develop an injury which can sideline you and while you're waiting to recover, you lose some of the progress you've made. I assume that since you're pretty athletic, you know that you should warm up and cool down with some stretches, so I won't go into detail on that at all.
If you're already pretty athletic, you should probably be able to run a mile a day. You don't necessarily need to sprint all of that, unless you are trying to become a sprinter.
But if your goals are to lose weight and become stronger, I strongly recommend doing some weight training mixed in with your cardio. Perhaps you alternate, so you don't overstress any one part--go running every other day, and do weight training every other day.
If you're going to do weight-training, make sure you develop yourself evenly. Don't only develop your upper body or only develop your lower body. There are many exercises that one can do-- for your chest, arms, and back, for your stomach, for your legs. Generally a good rule of thumb is, if you work on your upper body on one day, give yourself at least 1 day, if not 2 full days to let those muscles heal.
So you might do something like:
Sunday: Go running for 1 mile,
Do upper body weight-training
Monday: Work on weight training exercises that develop your abs and your back
Tuesday: Go running for 1 mile
Wednesday: Do some weight training exercises for your legs, although if you're already running, you might not want to overdo it here.
Thursday: Go running for 1 mile
Friday: weight training for abs and back
Saturday: REST DAY
If you are in school, I would recommend using the school gym. It's usually a lot cheaper than regular gym memberships (like New York Sports Club, Equinox, or Reebok). There might also be folks who are at your school's fitness center that can give you some advice on what exercises to do. While there are lots of books on Amazon about weight training and what types of exercises, it's best to have a live person to show you the proper form and how not to hurt yourself. Also, a live person can show you how to use various machines.
The reason why I am stressing weight training is that it is crucial to getting stronger AND it makes losing weight a lot easier. Losing weight only by doing cardio works well only at the very beginning, and then your body adjusts to the level of cardio AND to the reduction in calories and compensates by making it harder to lose weight (a.k.a. "hitting a plateau.")
If you build muscle,the muscle mass burns more calories than fat tissue while you are at rest, so a person who weighs 120lbs but is mostly made of fat sitting on his or her butt all day will burn a lot fewer calories than a person who is 120 lbs but mostly made of muscle who is made to sit on his or her butt all day.
Hope this helps!
Old Mongoose
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My mother and I have jsut started talking about a year ago. She was with a man I did not like and she choose him over me after he crossed a few lines that should have never been crossed. Well everytime I have something important come up like surgery or graduating from something she does not show up. She makes these big excuses and blames everyone else for her not showing up. Now I understand that she lives 12 hours away from me, but when she is offered a free trip up here with someone else I think she should take it. Ever since my little girl was born my mother has only seen her 4 times. I feel like I'm the one that has done something wrong. Should I feel this way? How can I tell her that she is hurting me and don't even act like it bothers her? I'm very confussed and feel like I"m the one to blame for her acting this way. Could you please help!!!!!!! (link)
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I think your mother was very neglectful of you in the past and is continuing to do so now.
Rather than just hack away at your mother, I have to ask-- you do not mention your father at all. What does he think of this? Have you talked with him about your relationship with your mother? Was he your primary guardian when you were growing up?
Judging from what you've said in your letter about your mother's actions, she moved on long ago. She has problems accepting her responsibilities-- and that includes both showing up when she says she will rather than making excuses, taking the blame when it is deserved, and being emotionally present for her child.
If, when you were younger and certainly had greater needs, she was willing to ditch you to chase after some stupid boyfriend, then, she must think that now, as an adult with your own child, she can get away with doing even less for you!
She has made it clear that you are not very important to her life in all of her actions and in all of her lack of action (when action is necessary.) I think you should sit her down (if you can even get hold of her) and talk to her in person.
And I think you should lay out her record, firmly, but gently. And you should tell her that if this is the way she's going to be, having a mother like her is like not having a mother at all. This woman DOES NOT LOVE YOU. She only loves herself.
And I believe in SUBSTANCE over STYLE. Just because she wears the title of 'mother' does not mean she's acting like one. She is merely your biological bridge into the world but she has done no emotional bridge-building between herself and you.
Do not succumb to the sentimentalists who carry on with their claptrap about how you should bond with her and make it all right and all that jazz. It is stupid to go through the motions of making up to her, and giving her an excuse to play-act (part-time) her way through an important familial role. She's either totally in it or she's got to be out. Why go through the charade just to pretend that everybody's one happy family when she's clearly not even seeing you as someone in her circle?
It takes two to bond, and while you are perfectly willing and a very forgiving person, I should add, she is not showing any real willingness. We cannot force people to love us, no matter how much we love them.
Cut her loose, because she has cut you loose long ago. Focus on your relationships, your little girl and the father of your little girl. They are the ones that are deserving of your attention and love, not your biological mother.
You are strong, to have survived her neglect, and to have built up your own family. You do not need her love, you do not need her approval. You have yourself.
Best of luck,
Old Mongoose.
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Anyway, whenever I drive with my parents in the car there always yelling at me, speed up, watch out, your gonna crash. They need to realize that I'm already nervous. All there doing is fueling the flame. They've gotten so nervous they haven't even let me drive for about a month now. Thing is i've never crashed and I know I'm not that bad of a driver. They say they expect me to get my liscence next year. I'll be 16. What do I do? (link)
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When I was 16 and learning to drive, I went through a similar experience with my mother. She would put on her seat belt with a resigned look on her face, as if she felt she were going to die that day under my watch.
Then, if I made any turn, she'd hold onto the the handle in the inside of the passenger side door and brace herself as if we were going to crash. She also reduced me to tears by second-guessing my every move.
I had to tell her this:
1)I have never made a mistake.
2)If you shout out stuff and you make me nervous and distract me, YOU COULD CAUSE ME TO HAVE AN ACCIDENT. And it will be YOUR FAULT.
3)You will not live forever and you need to realize that you can't baby me forever.
4)I take driving seriously and I know that driving badly risks my life, the life of my passengers, and the lives of others on the road.
I am a responsible person in many areas of my life and just because you have memories of me as a helpless baby unable to feed himself/herself, does not mean that I am frozen in time like that forever.
5)Finally, you are being disrespectful. How would you like it if while you were driving, I criticized every thing you did? Before you made every turn, I told you to do it? Would you be happy?
If you tell your parents this (gently), they might wake up to the fact that they're being obnoxious. And they're not helping you learn.
Now that I am an adult, I have one rule for my parents- particularly my mother. You are riding as a passenger in my car. Your house, your rules; my car my rules. If you do not like my driving and say so, I will drop you off at the nearest store or gas station and have you call dad to pick you up. I will not tolerate a backseat driver in my car, is that understood? I have never had to put this ultimatum to her ever again.
Best of luck,
Old Mongoose.
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if a man you lived with and had a relationship with moved out while u were in the hospital for 3 days and told you you needed to loose weight cause you are too fat should you take him back if he apologies? (link)
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Absolutely not.
This is a man with no consideration for you. Instead of being by your bedside and offering comfort, he took off. And to add insult to injury, he told you that you are too fat.
Now, pray tell, is this man perfect himself, with 4% body fat and a big dick and a rocket scientist and a gourmet chef with a moviestar face? Probably not. And even if he were, he clearly chose to be in a relationship with you. You say that he lived with you. Nobody put a gun up to his head and told him: if you do not live with this woman, I'll put 5 bullets into your skull.
So he chose to have a relationship with you and live with you. Unless he's stone blind, he knew what you looked like when he started the relationship with him. So why is he picking on you now?
Here is my guess as to why:
Some men (and women) are users. While they have some ideal in mind, they have no morals and have no problems using someone who will be convenient. You mentioned that he moved out, so I'm going to guess that he was living in YOUR place. So he's a guy who probably decided that you were attractive and nice and that he could control you-- so he lives off of your place and he gets a lock on free pussy.
Then, he decides that the grass is greener elsewhere and would like to try his luck getting new pussy. He can't do that easily while living with you, and he's a coward, so instead of saying: look, you're not really what I want, I think we should end this, waits until you get sick and go to the hospital and then sneaks out. But not without trashing you. He's doing that because he thought he wouldn't have to deal with you anymore and that he'd gotten his use out of you.
Then, new pussy doesn't want him. And he now comes sniveling back, thinking that you are gullible enough to take him back.
DO NOT LET HIM PREY ON YOU AGAIN.
Remember: "Burn me once, shame on YOU. Burn me twice, shame on ME."
Best of luck. Avoid these slimy toads. You can do so much better.
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okay, so i know everyone says sex hurts. i can't even put in a tampon without it being painful... what if i have sex and it's EXTREMELY painful? what can i do? i'm not having sex ANY time soon at all... so no "omg don't have sex" talks, please.. but i'm just wondering because if i can't even put in a tampon without thinking i'm doing it wrong or it hurting, how am i even supposed to have sex??
thank youuu (link)
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I will answer a bit based on some personal experience, although I will caution you in this: everybody's a little different, so what works for someone else might not work for you.
I won't make any guesses about your age/physical development, because there are plenty of grown women who have waited some years to have sex, either for religious reasons or simply because they did not find someone they were interested enough in having sex with or other reasons altogether. And for grown women, sex can hurt as well. But one can minimize this.
I'm going to assume here that you mean heterosexual penetrative sex, as in penis-into-vagina type sex.
And I think it's sensible of you to realize that a tampon is much smaller than a penis (at least, you hope so for the owner of the penis and yourself) and if that causes pain, what would a penis do to you?
So, a few tips:
1)Let the person you are planning to have sex with know that you have never had penetrative sex and that he should go easy.
There are some guys who will not take that well, either because they are jerks and just wanted some smooth easy sailing or because they are emotional cowards.
There are some guys who, while they can be quite physically gentle, have this idea that if they are any girl's 'first,' then that girl will get too attached to them and want to have a serious relationship with them.
So, to put it plainly, a guy who reacts badly to finding out that you have not had sex, is a guy who probably wants to fuck and run. While that is OK for some people, it may not be OK for you. You have to figure out what you want with the guy-- do you just want a nice sexual experience or are you already in a relationship and trying to move that relationship to the next level? Etc.
Here, it helps to know the guy well, because a guy who's just worried about hurting you might come off as 'reacting badly.' If he doesn't send normal vibes to you, talk to him to see why he's reacting badly.
If he doesn't react badly, then you're good to go-- onto Step 2:
2)I would recommend some foreplay and masturbation. If you don't already masturbate, I would suggest that you do so, getting yourself to the point where your body is producing natural lubrication. At that point, I would recommend gently inserting a finger in yourself and seeing how that would feel. A finger is soft and made of flesh, like a penis-- tampons are hard plastic, after all, so there will be a difference. You might be able to feel your hymen, if you push far enough. It is OK to push against it a bit, while lubricated, to loosen it up a bit, but don't push too hard the first time you do this.
Doing this for a few weeks before you plan to have sex would make things easier.
3)Have the guy you want to sleep with help here, too. See if he can bring you to climax with his finger(s) or, at least, provide some stimulation and also help loosen the hymen.
4)Don't be afraid to buy Lube. Buy a brand that is water-based, which will not degrade a latex condom. I recommend condoms for safe sex.
5)When you both feel ready, just let your feelings take over and don't be afraid to take it slow. He should know that given that there might be minor bleeding, he should go easy and not move like a battering ram at you. It is possible that neither of you will climax during this first attempt, but it can be a nice bonding experience and certainly a coming of age experience.
6)Re: minor bleeding-- this may or may not happen. It did not happen with me. But just in case, I would (if one were having sex in bed) lay a towel on the sheets where you two will be positioned just in case. Much easier to launder a towel than have to pull up all the sheets.
7)Relax while you are doing it. As in, relax your muscles. You know that while you pee, you can contract your pelvic floor muscles to stop the stream of pee and if you relax those muscles and let go, you can continue to pee?
Well, if the two of you are having trouble with his being able to fully insert his penis into you, then one thing to do is to relax the muscles and relax your body altogether. Tension makes everything a lot more difficult than it has to be.
8)Good luck!
Old Mongoose.
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