Member Since: May 5, 2016
Answers: 2
Last Update: May 5, 2016
Visitors: 407
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I'm 17 years old, almost 18, and I've never dated anyone until now. My boyfriend is from Canada and I'm in the Northern part of the United States. We met online through a chat app, then after talking for a while, moved to Facebook. In total, we've been talking about six months and have doing text, voice, and video chatting. My family is extremely strict and say I'm not allowed to date or should focus on something that's not stupid, like school. Only two of my siblings, out of four, have ever dated and the others will not. I talk to my boyfriend on my phone and my mother wants to take my phone unless I'm at school. I'm not allowed to have a password and all of them will occasionally look through my phone or email. They would be extremely mad if they found out and not allow me to ever talk to him again, which I don't want. I know most will say move out but I don't have a car, I can't drive, and have no money. What can I do to keep them from finding out? Even if I told them truthfully, they'd have the same reaction. They're very religious and I'm basically the black sheep of the family, always getting yelled at. Thank you! (link)
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Your 17, almost 18. Once you turn 18 you are an adult and can make your own decisions. I understand that even tho you will be an adult at 18 you cant fully take care of yourself as you'd like. I would suggest see if you can get a part time job, save some money and use that money to buy your own phone start saving up to get your own car, its time to be an adult and do what you have to do. It may sound hard and difficult and it will be life isnt easy, but if you want to get away from your strict family and live your own life and be happy you will have to strive to get it. Good luck, wish you the best.
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23/f, 29/m
Yes, the subject says it all. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me again. This wasn't the first or second time. This is kind of the same reason from before.. He doesn't see a future with me.
Yesterday, I saw him and things were perfectly fine. But I felt that something was off and his reaction to me a few days ago, telling him that we've been together for about two years, was strange. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he's been thinking lately.
He told me that he watched his friend's marriages fail, my parents are getting divorced, his brother's relationship go on and off and it made him realize that he didn't want to waste my time. He said the foundation of our relationship wasn't very strong because of the trust issues that we had, it made things difficult. He said he wanted to have a marriage that had a solid foundation and that the relationship won't end, and he didn't see that with us. He said it wasn't that he wanted to replace me but that he thinks I should replace him so I can find someone I want to marry by the age I wanted. He said that he knows that I had a particular age that I wanted to get married. He said that he didn't see a future with me. He said that he was happy with me and that I'm a wonderful person, but he didn't see a future with me. He said he didn't see our happiness as a long-term thing.
Part of me knew this was going to happen, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck to hear it. But then it got conflicting and frustrated because he said that he takes full responsibility about what happened in our relationship (his lies, betrayal, etc). But it got conflicting because he told me that he still loves me.
After thinking for awhile and crying here and there, I told him that I guess that it makes sense. I always told myself that I wanted to be with someone who would put in the effort to be with me and that no matter what happens, he'd still want to be with me. I told him that I noticed that I wasn't really a priority for him. That I was to be with someone who loved his job, but loved me a little more (not in the way he won't go to work, but if I was to commute elsewhere if we were married, if we'd move). And because I wanted that from him, I kept making him a priority and I kept treating him the way I wanted to be treated to finally have him treat me the same way... But it wasn't making things better, it just kept getting worse. That he saw it, but just didn't do anything about it.
And he told me that he did and that I was a priority and that he loved me more than he loves his job, etc. It felt awfully conflicting because his actions said otherwise. He always did this. Every time I bring something up and makes me realize why we weren't the right fit (just agreeing with his point), he makes a counter-argument trying to say that we were the right fit.
Then he said that he'll still go with me to my best friend's wedding if I'd like him to and that we can watch the last season of FRIENDS together if I'd like. It just made me feel really confused.
In the end, I felt really sad, confused, and frustrated. It just seemed like he was saying, "Hey, we are perfect for each other. We want the same things, but we just don't have the right foundation for it. I love you, though. Bye."
What should I do? Do you think he's going to come back and talk with me again? Do you think he's doing this on purpose and trying to see if I still care for him? I don't understand what he's trying to do. (link)
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I think this man is using a lot of excuses to try and get out of the relationship. He keeps saying the reason why he wants to end the relationship because of things you want in the "Future" he is not putting in any effort in the present for the future, when someone loves another they will do whatever they can to be with that person, make that person happy, make that person feel loved, it sounds he doesnt do any of this. I honestly feel the reason why you both are on and off for the past two years because you keep letting him back in, when you guys are off he probably just misses the "sex" or the attention. Dodge this bullet NOW, before its to late and you cant get out of this pattern. Take his advice and find someone better you deserve it.
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