Member Since: May 3, 2016
Answers: 2
Last Update: May 3, 2016
Visitors: 357
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So its my friends 21st birthday this weekend except I'm unsure I can go.
Firstly because she is a Uni friend and I am home to celebrate Easter. I don't drive so I would have to rely on my parents to drive me to her birthday (there and back). Something I'd feel bad doing.
Also, the party is at a Shisha bar and I don't smoke Shisha. Another one of my uni friends turned down the friend whose birthday it is, because she said she does not smoke. I have been to this bar before and have felt uncomfortable for not smoking.
However, it is my friends 21st birthday, and I am worried not going will mean she will not come to my celebrations later on in the year.
What do i do? (link)
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So you are on the fence about going because of how uncomfortable it would make you feel? If you don't want to go tell her, and/or ask if she wants to hang out with a small group friends, including you, after the main event. Communication is important in any friendship.
The thing is you should only do something if you have little to no doubts, never try to talk yourself into doing something you don't want to do, especially the party, not only would it ruin your experience, but it might ruin hers as well. And how long have you two been friends? Would she really hold not going to that 21st birthday against you?
Any other questions feel free to message me!
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So highschool is over for me next month and i couldnt be anymore happier everyone was so judgemental there. Anyways in high school i didnt really have that solid group of friends i would have a bunch of acquaintances from different groups but i never really had that go to group, only because ive always felt like i didnt belong anywhere. Everytime i made friends no matter what i do i would always end up the third friend (its third wheeling two best friends) you know that friend where theres no room for them on the sidewalk? Yeah thats me. I remember last month i was invited to my friends party she invited her two bestfriends which was me and my other friend, her boyfriend and cousin. So we were all taking pictures and then her grandma wanted a pic of my friend and my other friend alone, and then a pic of her and her bf alone and then a pic of her and her cousin alone and didnt ask for one with me alone. I didnt let it bother me too much but it was that day i realized that no matter what i do, no matter what kind of friends i make i just cant fit in. So my question is for university what are some tips on making a solid group of friends? Im tired of being the third friend and im tired of feeling left out and feeling like i dont belong anywhere. Im 17 year old female with social anxiety and social awkwardness i didnt think i was awkward but most people that talk to me always tell me i am. Please help and thank you in advance
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Well, to solve this situation the first thing you need to do is stop TRYING to make friends. Now, I know this may sound counter-productive but it's the only way to guarantee that you won't be the "third wheel". After you've done this self-reflect, what do you like, what do you want, who are you as a person. Then just explore the different hobbies you want to pursue, join a club or something, and eventually you'll find someone who'll become a great friend to you.
If you have any deeper questions, feel free to message me.
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